Saturday, October 23, 2004


sick perverts i aint gonna talk bout 'that'

but they are first times am sure you are all familiar with and hey whats walkin down the memory line

1.The fisrt time u liked the girl species. yes that sweet smellin braided annoyin little defenceless creature was actually interesting. u wanted to give her a flower. swap letters wit her-her scented letters were cute!her poems made some sense! in time u waited for her phone calls or u returned hers.u went for walks.held hands.
and yes u remember the first time that girl species turned into..into ...a WOMAN!!! with needs... and demands... and nag this... whine that, bitch and moan ........oh that first time.that transition caught u like a deer caught in the headlights. WHOA!!!! all of a sudden we wasnt man enough!!!!good enough!!! tough enough!!! rich enough!!!! no one warned us about evolution from a cute power puff girl to the devil's minion!

2. on same note as above but the first time u took a girl out and spend YOUR money!!!! need i say more. my cash!!!!

3.first time a girl took/ripped/tore/broke/hurt/stepped on your heart!that first heart break. actually the exact action is quite understated. cause there was definite toying of emotins! there were mind games! unreplied sms' unreplied calls...emails...cancelled dates. two timing! getting a kid with a 2nd party and marrying a third...could u really have been that blind or stupid? YES!

4.the first time u understood the girl species!!!!yeah right like thats gonna ever happen!!!!!

5. the first time u got hit/kicked/kneed in the pebbles. that mixture of pure emotion.beads of sweat! you could have screamed but the lack of dignity and pride could only afford a gulp! you wanted to cry but all u had was the strength to unleash some stupid wince/grin!!! it doesnt matter if it was a tennis ball/football,or even a marble-that eye-popping,spine shattering pain made u fall to ur knees and eventually to one side. u squeezed em knees together,curled in the foetal position. hugged and held...more like checked and preserved their existence. eventually u got up on ur feet.stood bent at an arc and limped/waddled away slowly;each step with a shallow breath. sensation returned. blood pressure reduced.stopped gnashing your teeth-u could smile again...

6. the first time u were taken and dumped to nursery school.had your name pinned on to your sweater on the left side and a hanky pinned onto your sweater on the right side.

i've had the priveledge of changing schools so i have had that experience5 times and with alevels can i talkin bout bein the new kid in an already established class-whoa!its different when u all show up new..but when ur the new fat kid on the block its different.
so u start makin new friends-dying for acceptance.such trauma!!! astually ur dying not to get dissed lets be honest.

7.first time u got into a fight. yeah what a feeling!!!! what a high!!!! u got ur hands dirty.landed a few kicks and punches courtesy of watchin the karate kid. of course u lost the fight!!! but who cares u fought/spat back! u may have had ur shorts ripped/or slightly pulled such that your crack was exposed-who said the extra ventialtion was bad for ur ass!! you may have shed tears-was it the humiliation,dust in your eyes,kids laughing,or that u got bitch slapped and your comic book ripped in two?????? but kids looked at u in a whole new light! u got ur respect! yeah baby!

8.first time u watched a porn!

9.first time u realised that the sizes of those organs on the porn were real and not some camera trick!!! and u consoled yourself that you was just young and in time....well damn it am 25 and no longer young?........sons of gifted bitches!!!!!!or is it gifted sons of bitches!!!!!

10.the first time you realised that by golly u could be evil. yeah all those pranks u could pull and get away with this cause u looked like a cross between an angel and infant. even with a reasonable doubt that jury the only thing the jury would find you guilty of is not being their child!!!!!

11.the first time u thought u wanted to be a priest...then pilot...rally driver...he-man...hollywood presenter...

12.first time u realised hey am not just unphotogenic am plain ol' ugly!!!!

13. the first time u realised that wait a minute this whole article may not be as funny as u thought and wait a minute no one could be readin it.... ha ha ha.

ok got to head of but i will have new things posted here soon!!!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sweetie you have some serious childhood trauma issues. I can't even believe some of the stuff you're saying. But it is funny. I know a certain psychotherapist...I can swing you his number. Might help you get ahead in can you hang onto this stuff this long. The rest of us are thinking about the first time we hit a homerun during the fun knee scraping sport of street rounders. Now that was felt like a king when a tennis ball went all across the estate and you could walk the bases just because you're so good...shoot what am I writing. I guess we all have our own issues. I should probably call that PhD.
Peace! KK also known as Ms. Anonymous since you're pretending like you have no idea who is commenting when I'm the only one who has done so thus far.

10/28/2004 11:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi nick
lm amazed at how u came up with all the 1st tyms,some of those memories are all so locked up but u paint a grim picture to some of them.
PS;honestly,l thot u was gonna talk about THE FIRST TIME.but it doesnt make me a pervert,its just that my 1st time was the most amazing of all FIRST outshines all the first times on ur list

11/11/2004 1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The4 first time you henged

1/04/2005 5:39 AM  
Blogger robmacca said...

Loved the topic - now get updating your Blogg some more. Let me know when you've updated. :-)

3/22/2005 2:34 AM  
Blogger gishungwa said...

You guy, the first time indeed you got me laughing real bad. thanks.

6/30/2005 12:10 PM  
Blogger akiey said...

Nick, your last point,haha! Bet you couldn't tell some latecomer like me would get it almost a year later?lol!
Amazing how you take me back with this 1st Time post & yes, it unlocked some veery funny memorable 1st times as well.

8/02/2005 1:45 AM  

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