Saturday, December 04, 2004

PAIN!!!!!!!!!

Now what is pain? they say pain is a physiological, emotional, pyschological response to a noxious stimuli! now the question is what is a noxious stimuli-by the time ur thru reading this oh u'll know for real what that is!!!!

-in my proffesion trust me i know what pain is and how to inflict it.i've seen grown men shed tears, i've seen a mother of 4children(point being all via natural childbirth) totally surrender at my mercy, i've made teenage boys call out my name, teenage girls wanna give birth a day after their period, i've made tiny tots scream/spit/kick/yell/pee/wail...and not necessarily in that order....so trust me am on authority on knowing what pain is all bout....

-have u ever run for the phone and happen to ram ur pinky toe on a stool-leg or the corner of a wall!!!! damn and temporarily u feel like u've dis-jointed it from ur body! the lil thing throbs with a vengeance of 1000hells...and u never thought how such a small thing can cause u pain!!!!

-as described in article "first time" oct gettin kicked in the nuts.

-there was a phase i guess we all went thru where it was cool to keep a long nail on ur pinky finger(in retrospect thats the shadiest thing ever!!! and to think there are grown men who do that in shags and use it as a device for snuffin tobacco, putting salt on food...but enough with the deviation...) yeah so there u are all "cool" and then some. And ur happenin to play basketball...and wham!!! Ball to hand-rather ball to nail...and at first the nail bends backwards...splits and starts to bleed....and bends back to the natural position! yammmy!!!!! and trust me that's pain that will last u a whole good week!!!

-Riverside circumcision!!!! ....ok i didnt go thru that but the thought of it makes u wanna cringe...of course,was it me, i'd take it like a man....if u got me there in the first place. not to mention the cold shower in the river.in fact i'd be more scared of that cold shower than anything else.

-gettin ur lil man stuck in the zipper!!! it's happened-not like in "there's something about mary" but in a milder fashion. the question actually is not how it got stuck the poignant question is what were u doin not wearing under wear!!!!!

-personally i like the pain chilli gives u-its a natural high!!!!...and a cold ice cream or just plain ice as it seats on ur teeth and sucks out all the heat!!! the pain radiatin over ur mouth as it slowly turns into a headache...

-jerkin off with soap!!!mmm mmmm mmmm this warnin should be out there somewhere on a boy's manual.. STAY FREAKIN CLEAR away from soap,hand washing liquid,dish washin liquid ...thats just wrong.
they say everytime someone jerks off a God kills a kitten out there! is that sweet or what? but, u use soap and u may start believing!!!

-pain is when ur tryin to dump some chick and the moron just aint gettin the hint!!! hello !!!! yes i said i'd call-and havent!!! duuuuh!!!!

-a boil in the ass! doesnt matter what cheek!

-ok all u sissy's out there will say what about childbirth, fractures....fallin from a height, stapling your hand, ...and is say '"u know what? ur right,there!"

-humiliation: i've had a few social suicides in my life.
i once dropped the national flag in school when i was raising it as a cub-scout!!!
i fell in school mass right up there on satge after receiving Holy Communion.slid on water and fell with a thunderous thud...and ensuing was an even louder applause!
i once gave an impromptu speech at a school assembly and blundered thru it, makin no sense whatsover...
How bout your swimming teacher calling you "hey fatso,where u think ur going?"
how bout taking part in a swimming gala in primary school. u all compete to do one lap. fair enough. so 8 of us(me being one of them) dive. off we go. swim. swim. swim. lookin up everyone has already cleared and little chubby me is still halfway!!! Damn it...so i paddle on...on....and on. and finally i reach the end.
finally now one problem-the ladder stairs thing is on the other side and am having a problem gettin off the pool!! DILEMMA-nelly kelly style? do i waddle to the other end? or ask for help...ha ha ha ha

so i pull my leg over to the edge of the pool-and now 3 limbs will be enough to hoist this whale of the pool. in one not-so-swift-action i hoist my self off the mass of water...and manage to roll a couple of times on dry land!!!!!!! if that is not pain i dont know what is!!!!!

the humiliation is so strong mpaka the clinging costume doesnt phase u one bit...and u run to your towel and to the changing room....and years later u write about it!!!!!!

hey u guys if u have better experiences feel free to share!!!!!!!

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nicko you typed 'make teenage boys call out my name'
that just does not sound right. Are you thinking of joining the priesthood? ( could not resist that one).

The image of you swimming was just too hilarious. I wish I was there for all the wrong reasons. Fatos bana, get into shape. Talk to Samson, walk alitte, do something .Save us the agony of seeing you swim half naked!(I know, I should be a life coach)

-Davo

12/05/2004 5:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah this is pain but the one that got me was the gal stuff.
r u damping me?
u know where 2 find me

12/05/2004 3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

pain is being stung by a wasp and the burning sensation that follows on areas the damn thing dint even get close to(thx Nick 4 the remedy u suggested,l dint have the cortisone cream thus the itchy irritation 4 a whole week!)
IT WASNT WOMAN THAT BETRAYED Jesus with a kiss,then y do we get the freaking crumbs!
pain is being dumped via the web(once again Nick,since u dint call does it mean lm dumped?)
pain is a combination of so many things but the worst kind is humiliation.l know humiliation coz l once threw a tantrum in the hood and it was heroic at first but it got ugly when the cops were called on me and l was frogmarched to a cop shop.l got a lucky break coz l wasnt booked in for disturbing the peace, thx 2 the guy on duty that day but it was a close shave.damn.
pain is getting wind that ur Ex is actually hitting on a friend or worse stil ur Sister!
pain is sitting through a boring lecture(nothing hurts like a lecturer with a monotone)
PAIN IS.....sitting thru a boring conversation........or running out of conver.
PAIN is a toothache that creeps in when u least expect.(nick whn u gonna check out my tooth)
pain is ....the thought of a jab.lm not as afraid of the real injection as l am of the thot of it abt to be done.
PAIN is when u eat too much supper and u have no idea how ul burn up the food at night to get rid of the discomfort so u can sleep.
pain is wondering what the hell U,NICK,do to ur patients that sparks such reactions. lve had a tooth chucked once and l guarantee u,l dint raise no hell like that.maybe its ur face so close to theirs that scares the living lights outa them
......................etc
Lieura

12/05/2004 5:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a while back l was on very strong anti biotics and PAIN is what they brought forth,CONSTIPATION.l donno if there's anything worse than being on those same antibiotics for 2 weeks.l tell u l know how hell looks and feels like.
lieura.

12/05/2004 5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jerking off with soap!
Well I can see you have alot to confess about!

Life Journey.

12/06/2004 10:20 AM  
Blogger your better half said...

pain....
pain is when you are the only only one among your pals who still thinks back street boys are the best...and you are not a teenager...and you are not a girl

pain is when it's the night you are planning to get you some and you have gas

pain is calling your friends from out of the country and finally getting through the crap safcom network and your pals tell you to call back or worse still to hold on...ati? hold on?

12/07/2004 7:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you a dentist by any chance?

12/12/2004 4:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Humiliation to me is the worst kind of pain but you don't know pain till you've had a biopsy in your freaking loins. That shit hurts.

12/20/2004 11:37 PM  

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