fairy tale for the modern babe

Once upon a time,

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in a land far away

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a beautiful, independent,

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self-assured princess

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happened upon a frog as she sat,

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contemplating ecological issues

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on the shores of an unpolluted pond

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in a verdant meadow near her castle.

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The frog hopped into the princess' lap

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and said: Elegant Lady,

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I was once a handsome prince,

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until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

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One kiss from you, however,

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and I will turn back

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into the dapper, young prince that I am

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and then, my sweet, we can marry

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and setup housekeeping in your castle

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with my mother,

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where you can prepare my meals,

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clean my clothes, bear my children,

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and forever

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feel grateful and happy doing so.

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That night,

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as the princess dined sumptuously

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on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs

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seasoned in a white wine

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and onion cream sauce,

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she chuckled and thought to herself:

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I don't f___ing think so!!!