Thursday, May 19, 2005

Back in School Moments: Pri

When they said “Son, your best days in life are in school!” they knew what they were talking about. It’s funny how we forget the little things that were part and parcel of us back then. It’s even more amazing how we ever acquired those traits in the first place. Am sure psychologists wouldn’t even have a clue, on the nitty gritty of childhood-especially with influence from school. Now during one of my therapy sessions, retrograde memory flash back I uncovered some memories that made me-to put it simply-smile. So I cordially invite you to smile along with me.

-“Please teacher can I go to the toilet?” to which the teacher breaks into a grammar session of the correct usage of the words ‘may’ and ‘can.’ At that time you are fidgeting form foot to foot…so obediently you try again…
-“Please teacher MAY I go to the toilet?” to which she smiles, happy with the correct term but answers, “NO! Wait for the bell!!!!”
-what was with the obsession of us guys writing vulgar (at that time ‘bad’) language. In my first Pri School we had this long urinal…and as u peed you’d read stuff previously written or drawn (by you or others)
-Speaking of peeing. Where on earth or rather who invented that style of peeing? Girls you will not understand this. But guys do you remember? No need to unbutton or unzip them shorts-just reach down under, over and about, and out-convenient and easy.
-In primary what was the big deal about taking a dump?

-Oh the competition of the best juice bottles.Form star wars, to non-breakable. To one that keeps liquids ice cold....
-We used to have food camps. A group of 3-5 friends would identify a tree in the field and that would be there camp. Members of other camps were not welcome nor could they swap food with ours.
-Couldn’t they have invented thermoses that didn’t make the githeri/ugali/stew thing reek as soon as you opened the top? There’d be that ‘psssss’ sound as gas escaped then followed by a pungent odour...and you’d mask your facial expression as you dug into the food with a spoon, cause you know mama knew best!!!

-So who said that if you crush crisps/chevra into tinier pieces you get so much more???
-There was also hot lunch/ or food from the dining hall…no one ever told me that Friday fish would be my downfall the following weekend.
-Nick Begs/Nick sharing/No-more-no-less phrases coined to those classmate beggars that always hounded you and you food
-Oh remember the rules of sharing sodas/juice
1. Drink through your sweater
2. No backfiring
3. Heck don’t touch the bottle with your funky lips.

There are 2 kinds of these-the sweet ones like lil Nicky, and the evil malicious minions of Lucifer. What’s the difference? The first kind (ME) is the type the teacher wants to adopt and take care of for the rest of their lives-whereas the second type-are those evil malicious….told on you like it was in vogue.

-“teacher, I heard Nick saying ART, stands for another rotten teacher!”
-“teacher, Nick broke his flask!”
-“teacher, Nick was copying my answers!”
-“teacher, Nick was talking and throwing papers!”


-the cool ones that showed you how to bounce and were a hit with all the girlies.And the hot chicks, that wore perfume and dared to chew gum!!!
-the really dumb kids in class. This was really mean-but face it they were dumber than 2nails.
-the fat ones-yeah right it was just the fat one
-the really thin fast ones. Agile, flexible-admired by the girlies. Hated by the fatties.
-the pumped ones: called first bodies!!! Ever so willing to arm wrestle or bully
-the geeks/geniuses: that had heavy vocab like “rumor-mongering,” “back stabbing,” “contemplating” Oh and they never were number 1-5 but damn it they knew there stuff.
-the smart ones: now these were number 1-5. Gifted sons of….

Boy being the fat kid in school was torture.
Heck changing in and out of uniform was torture.
Ha, and what’s with the fact you couldn’t find a floater that could go round my soggy midsection. So I had to get one of those that went halfway round. Picture this: Nick-std 2, cute lil blue (non-Calvin Klein) with a white stripe swimming costume with a black dinosaur floater, waddling in and out of the pool!!!

Torture was everywhere, be it Games or Swimming:


Physical torture: the finishing
Emotional torture: the waiting
Mental torture: the fact that you can actually discern the above two

-In Junior English Comprehensions Homework. I never did question 6 or 7. Would always hand in 9 questions instead of 10. HA! and got away with it.
-I actually handed in a book report, in which I was very honest in explaining how I didn’t remember the character’s name but nonetheless continued explaining what it was all about. THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS SET YOU FREE.
-At one time I used to think “It’s as clear as Brystal.” What the fuh?
-I’d actually write compositions with Frank and Joe Hardy as the main characters. “Frank and Joe were in Class …then the bell rung went out for break. They saw Maina in the climbing frame and they shouted at him to get down…”

-for a period girls were evil. We’d brand them as ‘POISON!’ As Dexter would say they have cooties? Sitting with them was torture. Talking to them was taboo!
-but they’d be so sweet and kind and let you borrow there novels, homework…heck they’d be kind to tell you “Nick Blow your nose!”
-and then they evolved and started asking for your number, and you’d shy off. They’d insist and you'd giggle (who’s the girl here?) …and at home time your bag has mysteriously disappeared and you search 20minutes for it only to find it in the same place you had left it. Reason: they went into your bag into your school diary and retrieved your number. Smart don’t you think.
-Oh the first time u got called by a chile/chick-jumping Jupiter’s.
-Got a note from one- icha wa-wa (Ewoks style!)

Be it at Mid-term and Friday-borrowing tapes from your video lib was justice to a school going kid.

That was the time of Herbie goes …, BMX bandits/kids, Superman, Wonder woman, Super girl/boy, Tarzan, Police academy, James bond, Carry on…. Movies.
Ngai-akina No retreat No surrender, Death before Dishonor, Kickboxer, American Ninja, Missing in Action, Delta Force, Bruce Lee….

Ah Sigh!!!


Blogger KymmBr. said... smiling all the way. yu seem to have fond memories of the fatt kid yu were in sio? donn worry about the torture of swimming, bora yu did yu'r thing and swam..yu had the last laugh.

girlie moments? hehe i tell yu those were crucial. No wonder my dad sent me to a boarding boys-only high skool for fear of the unknown. aki the things we used to do...God forgive us.

weren't those teacher's pets downright dumb? we used to beat the hell out of their bloody sick minds any time we got the chance to. then they wud go report us....and the cycle wud continue.

.....oooh those days....

5/19/2005 9:36 PM  
Blogger Afromusing said...

dude this was funny!! enyewe whoever said the best days of your life were those at school knew better, try telling that to kido's and they will look at you the same way we looked at our parents! Since u penda music cue Phil collin's 'The circle (cycle) of Life' from one of those cartoon movies (cant recall but iam sure you guys do!)

5/20/2005 7:06 AM  
Anonymous Msanii_xl said...

Lmao..Those days teachers were sadists ..
Nick..How can you forget the 'Hot lunch' crowd?

I would give my left nut to reurtn to those blissful days...Chuck norris destroyin a whole Battalion of vietnamese, John Wayne against 'redies', 2 shiling Kung-fu movies?

5/20/2005 7:41 AM  
Blogger LifeMoments said...

LoL....Welcome back Nick! This is what I refer to as Nick in the writing!

Anyway as For P.E. Moments I feel you on that!

5/20/2005 8:54 AM  
Blogger LifeMoments said...

No wonder you have been banned from going to gents!

Punk you used to steal others lunch boxes!!!!

Ati the sweet wonder that teacher was transfered...I won't even go into the details....

The therapy sessions are still on so you are welcome!!

What happened to your navy blue white shorts and pink socks?

Just admit it, you were never good in Class.

If I remember right these used to be your fantasies..boy you need help!

Let me just end here!

5/20/2005 9:37 AM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

OMG, i remember junior english!! and those math books with a boy climbing some stairs or something!!....i miss school!!

5/20/2005 11:22 AM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

Boys in primo would write notes in bad handwriting pledging love and all. then they would all look on as you opened your desk to find the note signed by no one!

5/20/2005 6:52 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@kymmbr=i have this perception of u being naughty as hell yet a teacher's pet. the sly devious type that would never get caught. mischief galore

@afromusing=u must be talkin bout tarzan

@msanii=lol ati left nut. hey action movies back then had so much to give kumbuka akina china o'brian????

@torments=ati the return of the NICK

@kipepeo=try better english,english workbook,four skills, msingi wa kiswa, pri math std5-orange, 8-grey, 2-blue,3-green and each year u'd proudly ati climg one step up

@farmgal=i had this thing of callin chick at home then lying i was another classmate(jackass!!!)

5/20/2005 7:05 PM  
Blogger Irena said...

Nick:I experienced the wrath of being a teacher's pet and it was not fun at all I tell ya. Unfortunately the pet thing followed me to my grad school, go figure!. Ngai I often wonder why all my school life I have been one? But lakini kids were just mean on the pet thing.Woiyee they used to scrutinize my test papers in my absence and of course with the help on my deskmates because there was belief that the teachers were dishing answers left and right to help me pass exams.. But the everyday ridicules were just too much , that still haunts me :-(

5/20/2005 8:18 PM  
Anonymous Daud el Rude said...

Sema Teachers Pet! What
would you expect, What with your lack of social skills, only a teacher could love you.

@ Ms K and Farmgal.
I can not blog, Let me use an analogy(although it is closer to the truth, you figure out which part Hint: the part that concerns Nicko) to explain why,

I am like a fly and a piece of bog(for want of a better term).Nicko and his blog are like the bog, if I started to blog, I would be lost. Have you seen a fly that can not find a piece of shit to land on???? it is not pretty, so I will spare you guys the trauma.

Daud El Rude(Unlike others, I was no teacher's pet(aka bitch-as in a female dog....get your minds out of the gutter!)!)

5/20/2005 9:17 PM  
Blogger Poi said...

Gich boy this was so hilarious. Yani my pops jus had to send my goofy ass to boarding in pri school bana coz the things we did am wit Kymmbr God forgive us.

The boys were crazy. I'll never forget how they dropped mirrors under our dresses and scanned whatever! Dammit! boys yu still misbehaved even after twas officially a girls' world.

Oh, been in boarding the boys ate our food/breakfast if we were a minute late to get to the mess(can you imagine starving and you donn have grab?

Teachers' pets. This is where we need to make confessions and seek forgiveness. For the times we messed them up, all the 'wanteds' we put on them on closing days and implemented em to the very end.

Movies-'saturday nite lives' as we calld em, we'd pick all the movies yu mentioned and watch them all until Matron declared 'lights-out'damn her! i remember her boring threats and announcements in the dorm...kuamsha watu bure..hahaa

I relate wit yu all the way and even more...imma post on this one(of course inspired by yu)lols

5/21/2005 1:56 AM  
Blogger kari said...

enyewe nick u had an interesting childhood!! i can't relate with all ur moments,e.g the toilet moment(ma! u boys r insane!!may that not be a blog war-woiyee am allowed to sema such things:-)but generally the mood of primary skul life is the same..i went to an all galz skul,so i missed out on those vybes for being called up by boys or stealing their bags..maybe i should look for a boy in campus whose bag i can steal and get his number from:-)

5/21/2005 2:43 AM  
Anonymous Memoire said...

Aah bana it's of how nimechelewa kusomathis? Nick you've really unleashed the memories on us. That one of sodas made me cheka, yani a soda of sijui 300ml is kunywad by several people. Remember the 'combi' of mandao and a samo (the samo sandwiched between the ndao, the oil would just drip down lakini it was tamu kabisa) - or the lunch meal of chips, sausage na soda - no more, no less.

As for teacher's pets, I confess, teachers always seemed to claim me as their pet (danger: kids might think you were an undercover noisemaker-list-writer and call one 'Iscarioti') lakini mie ni rebel forever.

Movies... remember those Touchstone-series comedy movies like 3 men and a baby, Look who's talking, Can't buy me love, (and of course *Home Alone*) they were so funny and harmless.. sio kama the grossness of comedies siku hizi

5/21/2005 3:50 PM  
Blogger chaudes said...

I have posted some of
my photos here

5/21/2005 4:06 PM  
Blogger chaudes said...

I have posted some of
my photos here

5/21/2005 4:13 PM  
Blogger chaudes said...

I have posted some of
my photos here

5/21/2005 4:43 PM  
Blogger s! said...

jamaa, do you have a really good memory, ama you never really grew up? :-))

this brought back quite a few memories, you slimeball!

5/21/2005 5:44 PM  
Blogger Migz said...

Nick; mazee saree with the crazy blasts from the past..

Mazee I thought Malkiat Singh was the brightest muthaf&$# in the world...he wrote vitabus across the spectrum from Home Science to CRE to Swa.. :-) Kweli he must have been the Father of Multitasking..

Also, there were those KBC movies that we watched at every public holiday and still conversated about in school the following day...Camp Cucamonga, Escape from Sobibor, After the Promise..I could go on..

Definitely a deadly blast from the past...

5/21/2005 8:45 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@wanjiru:tutaanza teacher's pet anon club

@Daud: was i just insulted or complimented?????

@cilia:unleash ur list as well. yeah we'd have a ka piece of glass in our shoelaces...and giggle with glee ati after spying...don't worry we'd never see much but our imagination would always go wild

@kari: lol i'd never laucnh a blog war on a new member...ebu u steal away that bag in uni...i'll be lookin out for urpic in the international papers "lunatic babe caught scribblin telephone number from a stolen bag"

@memoire: in nyeri where i work we were having those killer combinations we were callin it a 'decker'

@chaudes: and to think i had many comments kumbe 3 were urs to a porn link.
first pope,lucy,now do y'all find me....or its the websites i visit. LOL

@soray: na bado-memories galore...thats all i have in my damn ass brain
am ur kenyan peter pan. lol

@migz:tha malkiat singh even wrote in secondary. hima nd n.m patel had mad skills i even thought i'd find there books in uni

5/22/2005 10:15 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

manze i enjoyed that kind of life in lower primo before i was whisked to boarding life i feel nolstagic already, good memory nick

5/23/2005 10:43 AM  
Blogger Adrian said...

LOL at the toilet moment of not unzipping/opening buttons - yani the jungus here looked at me funny when i pulled that one the first time...

5/23/2005 6:07 PM  
Blogger s! said...

you have been tagged

5/24/2005 7:24 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home