Back in School Moments: Pri

When they said “Son, your best days in life are in school!” they knew what they were talking about. It’s funny how we forget the little things that were part and parcel of us back then. It’s even more amazing how we ever acquired those traits in the first place. Am sure psychologists wouldn’t even have a clue, on the nitty gritty of childhood-especially with influence from school. Now during one of my therapy sessions, retrograde memory flash back I uncovered some memories that made me-to put it simply-smile. So I cordially invite you to smile along with me.

TOILET MOMENTS.
-“Please teacher can I go to the toilet?” to which the teacher breaks into a grammar session of the correct usage of the words ‘may’ and ‘can.’ At that time you are fidgeting form foot to foot…so obediently you try again…
-“Please teacher MAY I go to the toilet?” to which she smiles, happy with the correct term but answers, “NO! Wait for the bell!!!!”
-what was with the obsession of us guys writing vulgar (at that time ‘bad’) language. In my first Pri School we had this long urinal…and as u peed you’d read stuff previously written or drawn (by you or others)
-Speaking of peeing. Where on earth or rather who invented that style of peeing? Girls you will not understand this. But guys do you remember? No need to unbutton or unzip them shorts-just reach down under, over and about, and out-convenient and easy.
-In primary what was the big deal about taking a dump?

FOOD MOMENTS:
-Oh the competition of the best juice bottles.Form star wars, to non-breakable. To one that keeps liquids ice cold....
-We used to have food camps. A group of 3-5 friends would identify a tree in the field and that would be there camp. Members of other camps were not welcome nor could they swap food with ours.
-Couldn’t they have invented thermoses that didn’t make the githeri/ugali/stew thing reek as soon as you opened the top? There’d be that ‘psssss’ sound as gas escaped then followed by a pungent odour...and you’d mask your facial expression as you dug into the food with a spoon, cause you know mama knew best!!!

-So who said that if you crush crisps/chevra into tinier pieces you get so much more???
-There was also hot lunch/ or food from the dining hall…no one ever told me that Friday fish would be my downfall the following weekend.
-Nick Begs/Nick sharing/No-more-no-less phrases coined to those classmate beggars that always hounded you and you food
-Oh remember the rules of sharing sodas/juice
1. Drink through your sweater
2. No backfiring
3. Heck don’t touch the bottle with your funky lips.

TEACHER’S PET MOMENTS:
There are 2 kinds of these-the sweet ones like lil Nicky, and the evil malicious minions of Lucifer. What’s the difference? The first kind (ME) is the type the teacher wants to adopt and take care of for the rest of their lives-whereas the second type-are those evil malicious….told on you like it was in vogue.

-“teacher, I heard Nick saying ART, stands for another rotten teacher!”
-“teacher, Nick broke his flask!”
-“teacher, Nick was copying my answers!”
-“teacher, Nick was talking and throwing papers!”

EVIL I TELL YOU.

PERSONALITY MOMENTS:
-the cool ones that showed you how to bounce and were a hit with all the girlies.And the hot chicks, that wore perfume and dared to chew gum!!!
-the really dumb kids in class. This was really mean-but face it they were dumber than 2nails.
-the fat ones-yeah right it was just the fat one
-the really thin fast ones. Agile, flexible-admired by the girlies. Hated by the fatties.
-the pumped ones: called first bodies!!! Ever so willing to arm wrestle or bully
-the geeks/geniuses: that had heavy vocab like “rumor-mongering,” “back stabbing,” “contemplating” Oh and they never were number 1-5 but damn it they knew there stuff.
-the smart ones: now these were number 1-5. Gifted sons of….

P.E MOMENTS:
Boy being the fat kid in school was torture.
Heck changing in and out of uniform was torture.
Ha, and what’s with the fact you couldn’t find a floater that could go round my soggy midsection. So I had to get one of those that went halfway round. Picture this: Nick-std 2, cute lil blue (non-Calvin Klein) with a white stripe swimming costume with a black dinosaur floater, waddling in and out of the pool!!!

Torture was everywhere, be it Games or Swimming:

“LET’S WAIT FOR NICK TO FINISH”

Physical torture: the finishing
Emotional torture: the waiting
Mental torture: the fact that you can actually discern the above two

CHEAP MOMENTS:
-In Junior English Comprehensions Homework. I never did question 6 or 7. Would always hand in 9 questions instead of 10. HA! and got away with it.
-I actually handed in a book report, in which I was very honest in explaining how I didn’t remember the character’s name but nonetheless continued explaining what it was all about. THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS SET YOU FREE.
-At one time I used to think “It’s as clear as Brystal.” What the fuh?
-I’d actually write compositions with Frank and Joe Hardy as the main characters. “Frank and Joe were in Class …then the bell rung went out for break. They saw Maina in the climbing frame and they shouted at him to get down…”

GIRL MOMENTS:
-for a period girls were evil. We’d brand them as ‘POISON!’ As Dexter would say they have cooties? Sitting with them was torture. Talking to them was taboo!
-but they’d be so sweet and kind and let you borrow there novels, homework…heck they’d be kind to tell you “Nick Blow your nose!”
-and then they evolved and started asking for your number, and you’d shy off. They’d insist and you'd giggle (who’s the girl here?) …and at home time your bag has mysteriously disappeared and you search 20minutes for it only to find it in the same place you had left it. Reason: they went into your bag into your school diary and retrieved your number. Smart don’t you think.
-Oh the first time u got called by a chile/chick-jumping Jupiter’s.
-Got a note from one- icha wa-wa (Ewoks style!)


MOVIE MOMENTS:
Be it at Mid-term and Friday-borrowing tapes from your video lib was justice to a school going kid.

That was the time of Herbie goes …, BMX bandits/kids, Superman, Wonder woman, Super girl/boy, Tarzan, Police academy, James bond, Carry on…. Movies.
Ngai-akina No retreat No surrender, Death before Dishonor, Kickboxer, American Ninja, Missing in Action, Delta Force, Bruce Lee….

Ah Sigh!!!