Saturday, May 07, 2005

Musically Funny

Guys are usually subjected to enough male bashin songs...apparently we don't:
-Act right!
-Love right!
-Make love right!
-Write cheques right!
-Have credit right!
-do anything right

But despite those endless cheap shots in songs,those lyrics leave me in stitches...

-just listened to an old song by en vogue and i had to laugh. Yaani, chicks have been dissin us guys way before "no scrubs" and "bills bills bills" This song is just too funny. There's a bridge that went "never gonna get it,never gonna get it, never gonna get loving...not this time"

ati " maybe next time u'll give ur woman some lil respect, so u won't be hearin her say...never never gonna get it(x4)..had ur chance to make a change..." i'm not picturing Wamaitha singin that song to me. Am seeing her bluntly saying, "Haiya ni haku!" as she packs her luggage and re-assigns me to do the milking and cooking... she bundles lil Nick Jnr on her back and storms off.....wait a minute what is that tune she is whistling????

-u gots to have a J.O.B if u wanna be with me:whatever happened to true love? can't we all just get along? With or without cash...who said u can't raise kids on love

-There was Whitney's "my name is not susan!":and your point is? didn't Tyrese put it right when he said "...why u wanna trip? How u gonna act like that... u know we be makin love, breakin stuff..that ghetto love!!!" Cammon sweetie, quit playin? Why of all times is the name 'Susan' buggin you now? You know u look like a Susan! Kwanza a ka-Suzie-you pretty young thang'

Haiya ni haku!!!!

-Ruffneckby mc lyte:By the time i was through with that song i was thoroughly insecure about my manhood/manness/ruffneckness. Could u talk about us with some respect? We have some feelings you know? Why u wanna talk like am a 83kg piece of meat

-Ms Badu had ati "u better call tyrone and ask him t hellp u come and get your shit!!! but u can't use my phone!!!...damn that's just cold! Colder than your idea of cheap foreplay!!!Colder than all those nights i spent alone while u were out there earning US some dough?

-Superwoman.( i have always loved this song) " u say the juice is used to be so sweet and i...i..can't help but to wonder if ur talkin bout me....." woiye lets give this chick a hug and flowers. I feel her pain "...i fight my way thru the rush hour tryin to make it in time for u..."
Woiye-Tomorrow AM wakin up early-and i'll put YOUR breakfast on ur table...but the dishes are on you!!!!!!

-Straight up:Paula Abdul.... As in the dame is tellin us jamaas 'tujipange', jo!!!!' "straight up now tell me is it gonna be u and me together..oh oh oh..or are u just having fun!!!!! Whatever happened to playing hard to get...numerous inuendo's...just rolling with the tide?

-Freak like Me:Adina Howard...."I need a freak in the morning freak in the evening!" Talk about demands. I may be young looking, but i ain't young no more! I ain't no machine! The whole multiple orgasm theory is lost on the male species....whatever happened to hugs and kisses and buying y'all chocolate and flowers? And talkin of come u don't entertain my idea of biting? ice? telephone wire?

-One minute man by Missy: Excuse me? You better enjoy that mindblowing SIXTY seconds of pure unadulterated loving...bearin in mind we're on a commercial break and 24 is about to return....beep beep beep... Take it or leave it?....Either that or YOU can Call Tyrone and ask him to come help u get ur shit!!!

-Shy Guy by Diana King: I don't want no fly guy, i just want a shy guy. Hol' up! Damn it am a fly shy guy last time i checked. 2 for the price of one...but she goes ahead and says that she doesn't want no ruffnecked man....ok now am confused between her and mc lyte what's a brother supposed to do????

To all those female musicians out there keep us entertained. We're male and we can't help it!


Anonymous Mama JunkYard said...

OMG!!! Where do I start? Ni vita you are looking for?

1. Hmm...methinks the whole rap/hip-hp genre with its ho this, bitch that stance seems to have slipped your mind? That is real bashing! The things you mention? that is someone just having a moan.

2.You dare list "no scrubs"? TLC had a point unlike the male response No Pigeons which was insult after insult.

3. Bills Bills Bills? Why is the man speding HER money? Ashindwe!

4 Eh? So now asking for a little respect is too much for you guys?

5. Yes if you had a JOB we wouldn't be singing Bills Bills Bills. Love won't pay for your collection of 24 DVDs

This is just the start dude...nitarudi...

5/07/2005 3:19 PM  
Blogger wg-k said...

Hi Nick, I'm new to blogging lakini I troll around the Kenyan Blogs and today I just had to comment. In response to your song list, I'll resond in the same vein;

Think like a girl, Diana King..... boys will be boys, will be boys, will be boys-if only them could think like a girl. If you could think like a girl, it would a be such a perfect world. If you could think like a girl...

a girl she needs affection,a man he needs direction

a girl she needs a best friend, a man he needs television....

btw, love the blog, you, MJY, Ms. K and others have me ROTFL very often!

5/07/2005 3:33 PM  
Anonymous Memoire said...

Hah-hah-hah aki you've made me cheka sana. Huyo Tyrone alilenga responsibility sana, so he had to go. I also loved that Superwoman song (she had big hair like Diana Ross) lakini in the video she was at the kitchen sink and one's like: 'si you stop washing his dishes and hura instead of just singing about it.' Nice guys always win in the end (err I read some statistics about that).

5/07/2005 5:21 PM  
Blogger Sunflower said...

Are you sawa? I think you decided to purposely ignore all those chick bashing songs! Lol! But its true, hip-hop these days is all about sex,, hoes, rolling on 24's! WHATEVER! Lakini sweetie, let me tell you, chicks have been bashed for years by jamma's. Its only recently 'im a survivor' that people have begun to realize... enyewe its time we say something. So darling, imagine dont feel bad when your told to 'pay your telephone bill' cause its about time. And these songs you must remember do not really relate to Kenyan culture, cause African Americans are like that. So dont feel bad!

5/07/2005 9:50 PM  
Blogger Deno said...

lol nick..ati telelphone wire..damn u a kinky bastard..not even going to ask.

And speaking of 24 - i used to hate on that show..ati always brushing off fans as idlers with nothing better to do than watch warabus get tracked down in pure fox style propaganda..

Managed to steal the first five hours of season one from my jirani and im HOOKED. I bow my head in shame...

5/09/2005 5:53 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

i'm not a super woman

5/09/2005 11:47 AM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

Nick how on earth are you planning on raising Nick J on just love. He would kick after breast milk dries.

83kg huh!

5/09/2005 1:26 PM  
Blogger Nyakehu said...

To my Nephew Nick oh please get a life and stop listening to lyrics. Start socialising more life is not lived through songs.

5/09/2005 2:35 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

Telephone wire?! I rest my case.

5/09/2005 4:44 PM  
Anonymous Daud said...

Sema Nicko AKA Mr BDSM,
I always knew there was something wierd about you. Telephone wires??
what r u going to do with that?

I can see why she left with Nick Jr.

Daud El Rude(Quote:In China, if you are 1 in a million, there are 1300 people like you.So much for being Special!)

5/10/2005 7:00 AM  
Blogger Guessaurus said...

@Daud - about china: LMAO.

Nick, how the hell do you get to compile so many songs - how long do you research before you write a blog?

Sorry, I forgot you are a music/movies buff - I was laughing through the whole list.

I am with everyone else on chick bashing, we've had a raw deal for ages.

As for the telephone wire: My imagination took a beating :)

5/10/2005 12:26 PM  
Blogger Magaidi said...

Nick - I hear you on some of these. Eddie Griffith hit the nail on the head in Dr. Dre's 2001 interlude, What happened to falling in love with a n**** with a bus pass?". Dave Chappele also had an interesting theory claiming men love flashy cars because WOMEN! LOVE MEN WITH FLASHY CARS . How true that is - I don't know. I tell you the paradigm is shifting.

5/10/2005 4:40 PM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

telephone wire...........??????? hmmm....are ur meds finished?

5/11/2005 12:00 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@mjy-how u gonna act like u didnt help write this article
@wg-k-welcome to my blog and thinkin like a girl may have some kiny side effects and u can see all thi sguys are doubtin the telephone wire...
@memoire-glad u know that tyrone song...i actually do love it
@sunflower-as much as the song was about bashin they highlight was the manner in which the bashin is done...its just funny and cute.picture yourself saying anything similar....
@deno-beta believe this is a kinky bastard. oh 24...u have no idea-ebu u onja that 1st 5hours see if u won't be beggin for more
@shiroh-...oh no oh no, ur not the kind of girl that i can let down and think that everything's ok...girl ur only human...
@Farmgal-83kg's and still countin..i bet ur wonderin how i fit into the spidey suit???
@auntie Nyaks-put my luck of a social life aside-those lyrics scream pure comedy.and u've raised the point nothin like that ever happens so how come its always bein sung out there...unrealistic as it it?
@ms k-don't knock the telephone wire till u try it
@daud-kijana ebu start blogging soon
@guess-u don't even wanna know...i never research it's pure work of
@Magaidi-do u think thats whu Sonny loves em cars?
@kipepeo-child they cant make the right drugs to contain me

5/11/2005 12:35 PM  
Blogger Irena said...

Nick: I'm bila lyrics...:-)

5/11/2005 5:06 PM  
Blogger KymmBr. said...

The writings are all over the wall...yu gotta read betwn the lines. am one proud person coz am a dude....they gonna fight us and fight us but at the end of the day, smone will beg to go to heaven on the 9th cloud....donn yu just love it when they scream and beg?
c'mon ya'll...lady talk/man talk, where is the difference? aint we all trying to show each other how we can both live without the other? which is a bloody lie?
I need yu and yu need me...its anatomical complexity. as long as yu got what i donn have and i got what yu need. read me!! mutualistic existence..huh?

5/11/2005 7:48 PM  
Blogger Poi said...

am with MJY ati hii ni vita..hii ni war unatuafuta...but the telephone wire aii..en kwanza where yu at? yu can't face us now coz yu know we r beating yu at ur own game(note:words said in a polite tone)

5/13/2005 10:22 PM  
Blogger Sam Oendo said...

Problem with your theory on my liking cars, Nicholas, is that I liked them before I knew what women were used for. At 8 yrs old I counseled old man on what car to buy and *shock* my reasoning afforded us a spectacular ride. I cut my teeth on Road and Track and I remember watching F1 with wonder and awe. We are talking years before the birds and the bees.

I scoff at rap artists and celebs who do videos with their fancy cars and things...acting like they are made of gold keeping them shiny (garage queens we call them) Those, my friend, are poseurs. They dont know what their transmission looks like and how the engine likes its coffee. With a few exceptions.

Spending hours under a car with oil dripping on your face and sustaining 2nd degree burns on your face from overheated coolant (thank God for his healing, I thought I was done for) is more of a passion and not mere showing off. Most of the guys I interact with in the Ferrari club are happily married or are about to be. Those guys who use the cars as chick magnets can be spotted a mile the rear view mirror.

5/18/2005 9:49 AM  

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