Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Life: 102

Hot on the heels after Life: 101 Sgt Life from Life Academy is back to spew more life lessons/theories learnt the hard way.

11. Mirror: Its funny how you never notice that what you see in the mirror is not what others see. For starters, simply put, the mirror shows you a laterally inverted image of yourself so unless you are completey symetrical your view of yourself is not the same as others. Now physics aside, getting deeper...people have different perceptions of a person-especially with regards to success. Here you are thinking you are a failure when others actually envy you. On the other hand, here you are thinking you're the king of the world-boastfull and proud -when u really are the freaking scum of the earth.
Reality check: we probably have two lives: one perceived by you and the other, as perceived by others. Live you own life and don't live it for others. You would be surprised what other think about you!! In the long run-whether positive or negative-that should never define you at all!

12. Envy:Wow! What a powerful mortal sin. Greater than jealousy- transcending further than hatred. It's deep!! And if you have never succumbed to envy, the bloody thing can consume you, control you, and damn well near change you for the worse. When they said its a deadly sin-they knew what they were writing about!!!!

Reality check: No one is freaking perfect and the faster you learn this the better. We cannot all be created equal-not everyone should act the same.
-If you're the sporty type, with the athletic build-good for you!
-If you're the next Einstein...the new yardstick for high I.Q-good on you!
-If you look like a cross between Denzel and Halle or Brad and Jolie...well guess what (sniff!) good for you!
-If you have special abilities which i don't have...of course you are better than me there-and over there and not forgetting that other thing...and there's that....well guess what???

You're not me and am not you anyway! Everyone has weaknesses and strengths-REFUSE to let others put you down-with their airs and egos!!!!

13. Selflessness: Is there a trully selfless act out there??? What is my point? Does anyone ever do good without the hope of atleast feeling good about it. Is there an act that you can partake and totally not benefit heck even suffer for-so long as it was selfless. E.g you fling youself in front of a moving van to save someone-sure you break your legs or even lose your're still feeling good for having saved someone's life.
I believe in random acts of kindness but am yet to discover purely selfless acts.

14. Success and Happiness: What is it after all? Is it financial and material? Is it social? Is it about raising a family...or attaining higher levela of education? Is it street-smart? Is it achieving what you strived for and accomplishing it all? Is it being happy with who you are? Is it being what others would like you to be? Is it looking in the mirror and liking what you see looking back at you?
Would you concider yourself happy or content with life and if so with what criterion do u decide with? If you were to be asked "what would make you happy or content with life?" would you have an answer? Or are we created in such a manner that we will never stop seeking more?! Will we ever stop yearning for better? Scriptures say its not wrong to want more...but why want more all the same? Why live life in search of success and happiness when all it brings is either disappointment or discontent?!

15.Greetings: At my work place it's taboo not to shake hands! How do i know this is? Well... the matron once pulled me aside and told me SO! Deng!!! "How come you don't salimia people. You know its very rude" She was short of calling me arrogant. Apparently the correct thing to do is walk to everyone...great each and every person by hand and exchange pleasantries...

The following are not forms of greetings:
-'Morning!' or plural 'Mornings!' u smile and walk past.

-1st person 'Hey?'
2nd person 'Hey!'

-1st person 'Bitch!?'
2nd person 'Punk?!'

The art of morning quiteness is lost on my workmates. Instead, one has to learn how to make greetings associated with small talk that is quite monotonous and repetitive after 2 years of working in the same place with the same people with the same greetings!

Learn how to be social and how to make funny small talk impromptu. Problem is if you are as asocial(yes i made that up!) as I am you will be reduced to..." Habari ya asubuhi? weekend?.. kuna mvua kali-lakini atleast mahindi itamea"

16. Making a fool of yourself: Oh you know what am talking about. Embarrasing moments don't count cause in retrospect you look back and smile. I'm talking about those moments either your worst side emerged, or you did something so stupid/thick that memories could bring back tears in your eyes. Whenever you remember you even shake your head and try change subject!!!(Note you're changing subjects whilst talkin to yourself!)

You always create sticky predicaments for yourself. It is human to err/to blunder/to get conned/to be caught lying....-roll with the punches. Lift yourself up and rise...for tomorrow you make a fool out of yourself again.

17. Instinct: Trust your instinct and train it as well. Do funny experiments and you will realise that most of the times your gut instinct is always spot on! With regards to many aspects of your life, you usually have a deeper insight of things than you give yourself credit for!

18. Gossip and secrets: Everyone has the potential to back-stab and back-bite so don't get all pissed when you hear someone said some thing about you behind your back. Don't get all emotional that someone has revealed your secret. For starters you ought to know better! Secondly these don't work:
-pinky swearing
-' Oh, i promise i wouldn't tell a soul/him/her/them!'
-'who would i tell anyway?' (that's the one i use when juicing out info!!! it works wonders!- heck you give an illusion of "by the way who on earth does he know anyway!"

In this world of treachery and deceit and blackmail-you either have to learn how to fight dirty or stay clean!

19. Humility: Is more than just a virtue. Happy are those that are modest and humble....


Blogger KymmBr. said...

KymmBr: Bitch!?
Nick: Punk!?

hahahah. that was hilarious. i really donn know what's with people and greetings. lucky me am in place where greeting anybody is only the office and with yu'r boss.
weeeh that mirror business is crap. aki am telling yu i stopped using the mirror a long time ago coz it is the bloodiest liar.

Gossip and secrets? my advice is never tell. Yu will be roasted for sure. just keep yu'r shit to yu'rself.

7/14/2005 8:56 PM  
Anonymous Msanii_XL said...

Habari ya asubuhi? weekend?.. kuna mvua kali-lakini atleast mahindi itamea...this is me when i have tried very

Sgt. life is no joke

7/14/2005 11:54 PM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

No 13 I choose to comment on not that I didnt find the rest interesting! I think if you jump infront of an oncoming truck to save someone's life, at that moment you arent thinking what a hero you will be. you only feel good about it/thats if you dont get urself killed\ afterwards.

Its very English to say hey and not shake hands\unless you are a politician, i wonder why mhh and its sooooo english to say just how crap/brilliant the weather is!

7/15/2005 12:20 AM  
Anonymous Mama JunkYard said...

What a lovely blog post and you only swore once!!

I am so tempted to debate my way through your list....I may just return...but for now I just stopped to say I loved this entry...

For someone who has benefited from the kindness and selfness of Patron Saint I thought you of all people would be a believer

7/15/2005 1:58 AM  
Blogger Poi said...

@Gich boy..very nice post. Hilarious as ever.

Now, even that Kikuyu singer(Unfortunately, my uncle, who passed on)sang it dude, ope u know the'mirror u got lies'(please translate into kiuk, if you can). Its so saddeningly(does this word exist) true.

Anyhow, the mirror is number 1 liar,but still gives the real us. I donn wanna run, so i aint gonna be looking.Hahaaa

Gossip and secrets. Keep away from both. Ain't no gossip and secrets between more than one person per me.

7/15/2005 5:44 AM  
Blogger Wangari said...

this is well funny..
i like the part where you have to shake everyone's hand, every day and make small talk as well.. tall order i say.

that comment "who would i tell" works everytime!!! and you know you will tell.. hehehe

fab post nick, as always

7/15/2005 1:29 PM  
Anonymous Sgt Life said...

@kymmbr you sounds like you have the makings of a fine young cadet!

@msanii: aint no pain than small talk pain! And you better ask somebody you bet your bloody life i aint no joke!!!

@farmgal: I still think that such actions of bravery and self-giving/self sacrifice are to some extent driven by love/protectiveness/and a part willing not to lose someone...which is entirely not selfless

@MJY: uh very nice to interact with the infamous Major Jacinta. Yeah bring it on sister girl bring it on. And who is this Patron Saint????
And i'll show u cursin ma'am if that's what you want!

@Poi: The mirror darn told us many a damn lies. However i've been thru many wars...fought many battles...seen my juniors die infront of me- BUT- nothin can make me go crazy like Kiuk songs!!! Thank God the enemy doesn't know that technique....lets not even mentions the plucking sounds of cheap guitars.....

@Wangari: Yup thats a fav line of mine and another one is "guess what i've just heard!"

7/16/2005 10:01 AM  
Blogger nick said...

@kymmbr: Hey there?!

@msanii: am telling you every week same old routine..except when the weather is hot...

@farmgal: I don't know why but i really prefer non-tactile greetings. "Hi?"
and funnily enough none of my friends or relatives have that habit

@MJY:am telling you the sgt hasn't met Patron Saint of TV. Then again he wasnt reffering to angels...(yup still suckin up!!!)

@Poi: on tuesday i had this shady kiuk song and the worse part of it it was bein translated in english vibayas. in kiuk he was saying "slow down teacher, you have explained it too fast!" in english he was saying " srow down teasher, you have come too fast!"

@wangari: its funny how we don't wanna share our secrets but alwasy want ot find out about others...

@Sgt Life: Dude? How'd you do that?

7/16/2005 10:09 AM  
Blogger kari said...

woiye there are some nice kiuk harry kimani's ''haiya haiya'' song..ok,that cant be its proper name but watever!!as for greetings,na c ur so on point!!!hmm but the worst thing is how guys smile at u and the smile fades even b4 they've pitad how fake is that!!!

7/16/2005 4:33 PM  
Anonymous Daud said...

Sema Nicko,
Ati you are now getting deep??! we wacha you are not kidding anyone.
By the way who is this SgtLife alter ego of yours? ama you have another stalker.
Like they say, birds of a feather....

Daud el Rude(uta-do!!!!!)

7/16/2005 11:08 PM  
Blogger akiey said...

Nick, I knew there's many sides to you & this post is perfect proof of that,Bruh!
-Success, good you get pple questioning this issue. For me, I guess "being happy with who you are" defines it best.
-Pole about the countless hitting the gym,huh?! In US they rarely shake hands but once you're familiar with them you could ask someone (esp of opp gender) to limit hugs to Friday evenings,lol!
-Envy, you got that right & yes, success breaks friendships too.
Btw: Incase you, MsK et al get together with Guess, plz you all do a #16 & blog about it,lol!!

7/17/2005 2:03 PM  
Anonymous mshairi said...

This is excellent, nephew, well done!

7/18/2005 12:30 AM  
Blogger Poi said...

Gich boy..hahaa the translation just never comes/brings out the same damn!

7/18/2005 1:06 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

You did it again. Brilliant article. I actually beat myself too hard always thinking i am not as good but some times i am shocked when someone tells me i have much energy.

7/18/2005 11:12 AM  
Blogger Blue Poet said...

Pat yourself on the back- Twice! Excellent work.

7/18/2005 1:59 PM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

i sooo feel u on the instinct!!!

7/18/2005 2:55 PM  
Blogger Adrian said...

ati changing the topic when talking to yourself??! love that one!

7/19/2005 11:12 AM  
Blogger kinyi said...

sasa nick!!!
I totally connected with most of what you said, especially the perceptions...afterall thats why I can proudly call myself a CAB to me its something I accept about myself! Your list is something I can re-read to myself on one of those 'Deng!' days....

7/19/2005 1:06 PM  
Blogger Migz said...

Hi-bloody-larious and spot-on Gichu!

Of small funny impromptu talk, don't forget those chaps who ask obviousities (made up too!) like:
- "Baado mko?"
- "Siku nyingi bana!" a.k.a "You're soo lost!"
- "You've grown so big" (agewise,that is..)
- "ehe...otherwise?"
..the list can go on..

7/19/2005 6:38 PM  

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