Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Meeting with Guess

Boy, its been a while since I did this I have almost forgotten how to. So, yes oh ye dying public I did meet up with the one and only sensational Guess! Yes, she is a true babe, classsy in every way and trust me that British accent goes down well. Nothing like a chick with a hint of a natural weng! Grrrr!

So how do u blog this....

For starters we met twice. However we'd been communicating since she came and for some reason we didn't meet earlier. Either she was busy or she was too busy. I knew I was the KBW loser/outcast but cammon, how many postponements did I have to get? So, I hung in there, persisted more than a rash...more like a wedgy while wearing clad you cannot manouver/manipulate yourself out of! Incessantly I pursued, sent many sms's and eventually the day arose when we finally set on meeting.

Sunday 24th
As usual my fav rendezvous- outside 20th. Next time you meet a stranger, I advise, it's wise you agree on a certain lampost or pillar. So I arrive there and you know how 20th is. There were like 3 dozen solo babes waiting to get picked up. So I zero in on the three of them, hoping to see some twinkle in their eyes, some form of "hey is that you?" Nope! Nada! Them girls had obviously been stood up and were not entertaining the idea of stranger checking them out with a cheap-ass grin whispering "Guess?"

So I pick up my phone and decide to call the one and only. I heard it ring out loud and turned in the direction of the Kenny Rogers ring-tone, and there she was...screaming "auuuui!" and breaking into a run in the opposite direction! From her position, a few steps away she had seen me, but wasnt too sure it was me. However, when I called she was sure and she hiked her skirt, hopped out of her manolo shoes and took cover...yaani tuck and roll.

We were not amused!

Anyway jokes aside. She looked like she was modelling and I'd interrupted a photo shoot! The Nairobi sun in the distance illuminating her, the wind blowing through her hair...and as I waddled towards her and she glided towards me...exchanged greetings... exchanged hugs like long lost lovers...she swept me off my feet and twirled me a good 360 degrees-Oh, my amazon warrior princess had returned!

At first we went round town undecided where to go, then we settled for a nearby reastaurant. She is so easy going, friendly and even sweeeeeet! Imagine she had a gift for me! And the moron had nothing-damn make a brada look cheap! Then again I am cheap!


The Goss?
-We became fast friends. Swapping stories, she showed me some of her pictures of her family...she has a fetish for taking pictures of goats-which apparently she'll name 'Nick'
-For starters y'all that thought those weren't her legs trust me they are. And I know for a fact they are hairless and by delving further i managed to know they are naturally hairless-not as a result of Veet or a razor.
-This woman is as evasive and cunning as evasive and cunning can get! She refused to tell me who the guy was seated on her bed holding a camera and a suggestive look!(remember that scandalous post of hers???)
- This dame has perfected that angelic holier than thou look-with a halo on top of her head and harps playing in the background...from batting her lashes to a sweet babyface smile to a cute giggle...she can make you coo if she wanted to. She is a cherub incarnate!
-She refused to divulge any names of fellow bloggers that she knows...heck even her own name she had remained adamant about it till I asked for her ID! Even her occupation still remains a mystery to me.
-She is about 5 foot 6. Brown eyes...already described her angel-face. Which is now her new nick name! Everyone in the house quickly change her link to 'angel-face'
-A gentleman never asks a lady her age. But this gentleman did-to which the lady replied...
-She explained the origins of the name guessaurus.
-By the way she had the same reaction Ms K had on seeing me-spontaneous bursting into laughter, with pointing...apparently she thought i was really short, round, geekyand stubby-and was glad to discover i wasn't short!
-We discussed that since MJY is my Blog wife she will be my blog-mistress...we are happy with that arrangement.

Hours later we parted ways promising (rather i forced her) to meet the following week.

Thursday 28th

I wanted to take her to lunch at Nbi west near my workplace.
For starters she got lost and this broke punk had no credit...it was a mess. Then, I kept her waiting for almost an hour-and you know hell hath no fury like a woman kept waiting at a silly reception. Her cute nostrils flared-she was breathing fumes! I tried to ease her pain... En route to the lunch venue I offered to buy her some sugar cane! Wah, the look I got from this classy/diva like babe can't be explained-but if i was to try it'd go something like " ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR TOOTH PULLING MIND!!! Hell freakin yeah i want some sugar cane!!!! HOOK A SISTA UP!!!"

Totally surprised, we had it cubed and before you know it she was crunching away. Prominent jawline features-she squeezed the living juice out of them cubes. And she spit away like a pro!!!

Ok just kidding.

So we had our lunch and past more times cracking jokes. Coaxed her into ice cream-though the ice cream on offer was limited.

Eventually time elasped fast as it does when having fun and it was time to bid adieu. With tears in our eyes (not from the maize with chilli we ate while strolling round west) we started saying our farewells. We promised to write, sms, and keep our love burning ever so brightly. Never to let it sizzle down to an ember-ain't no river wide enough...valley deep enough...mountain high enough to keep as from fanning that flame.

So we hugged to the consternation of the onlooking crowd some mumbling and pointing at such blatant public display of affection. Exchanged goodbyes and I held the bicycle as she hopped on.

I waved a last goodbye. She gave me a last longing look. A last meaning smile...and as she disappeared off into the sunset, I turned one last time but she was gone. All that remained was an overwhelming sad emotion and the icecream and maize cob she'd thrown that I'd bought her. Sigh!

That is my story and am sticking to it!

In essence: Guess is a lovely, classy babe, gorgeous, very down to earth with a generous
heart. Funny and very naughty!
And better still she is my pal.

31 Comments:

Anonymous aunt mshairi said...

This is such a lovely story, nephew!

'...since MJY is my Blog wife she will be my blog-mistress...'

Has this been sanctioned by MJY?

8/03/2005 11:28 AM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

wow! cant wait to come to kenya and meet u so i can get a wow review like that...i can see it now, my name in lights...Ok, seriously..tres cool that the blog world is creating good friends...speaking of which, i shall now email u and pick ur brain on some techno matters that i am clueless about!!

8/03/2005 12:31 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

That post was priceless! And since you've told it so well, I shall not even tell my tale, it might water everything down.

And Guess is a BABE!!!

8/03/2005 12:44 PM  
Blogger akiey said...

Nick, I'll hit you with a stick if you decide to take a long break from this hilarious blog,lol!!
I've laughed so hard am in pain. Ok, you guys just redefined fun, am amazed at your description. Keep those memories & the friendship. I too thought Guess was a great human [she uses this word:)!] & you're a fun brotha, you both proved me right.

8/03/2005 1:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol...o.k. let me stop laughing. i am gonna get kicked out of this cyber soon. Good story.

8/03/2005 1:50 PM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

just how on earth am i supposed to send u an email on that link thing? i have no idea what ur address is!!

8/03/2005 2:08 PM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/03/2005 2:09 PM  
Blogger Guessaurus said...

LOL *smh* sigh.

@Mshairi - I asked the same question.

Nick, you are so generous with that description - and very funny.

8/03/2005 2:41 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@mshairi:she is aware..but the details have not been formalised

@kipepeo:blogworld is a whole world on its own-like some form of secret cult...with friends for life. if u put the mouse thingymajig on my link it will highlight my email down there bottom left

@ms k: weh msichana ebu tell ur tale i'd like to know what you to femme fatalles were upto u naughty kinky things you

@akiey:she is a great human-very real!

@anon:thank you wish u left a name

@guess:ati generous? girl u know its true oh oh oh (milli vanilli style)

8/03/2005 3:48 PM  
Blogger Wangari said...

nice to have you back nick,
LOL about the sugarcane.. bana iz how? how can you dart posh totty with miwa?? hehehehe...

8/03/2005 5:51 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...

Let me wipe the tears off my eyes...

Phew - Ok -

This was funny!!

"However, when I called she was sure and she hiked her skirt, hopped out of her manolo shoes and took cover...yaani tuck and roll."

Hahahaha

"Funny and very naughty?" - details on that last part my guy, details - toboa!

8/03/2005 7:00 PM  
Blogger Msanii_XL said...

"she swept me off my feet and twirled me a good 360 degrees-Oh, my amazon warrior princess had returned!"

funny funny...blog is one happy family glad ya'll had fun. and nick its about time you had blogged

8/03/2005 7:06 PM  
Blogger kinyi said...

yaani nick...wacha tu! LOL! I was ROFL!!
1st ur a natural so I doubt u could sahau how to do this blog thing!
2nd Bila airtime at such a crucial time is so wrong! Lakini ur lucky dat ur charming like that! LOL!
You killed me with this line
"Exchanged goodbyes and I held the bicycle as she hopped on."
Makofi!!!

Its nice to know that the internet has ultra cool people like Guess and U! :)

8/03/2005 7:22 PM  
Blogger Poi said...

Wow! this sounds so sweet. Lovely, actually!

8/03/2005 10:16 PM  
Anonymous Daud El Rude said...

@ Nicko
you typed....

By the way she had the same reaction Ms K had on seeing me-spontaneous bursting into laughter, with pointing...apparently she thought i was really short, round, geekyand stubby-and was glad to discover i wasn't short!
.......
why are you surprised that people burst into laughter when they see you. Its not often that guys get to feel like they are on the set of Lord of the Rings( pick your character). Lakini from Guess' blog, I can see you have threatened her like you did Ms K mpaka they are scared to tell the truth,ati tall??? wewe fat boy slim, stop threatening the ladies. The truth shall set you free. Ladies do not be afraid, describe exactly what you saw.

Daud El Rude(I Still representanga!)

8/03/2005 11:15 PM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

waoh am glad we pushed and shoved to get the details. more! more!
I think i havent laughed so hard in a long while you dude are crazy.

@ms K please please tell your side tafadhali msichana!

nick lol

8/03/2005 11:18 PM  
Anonymous Wambui said...

Sasa Ms K, andika! Nick this was hilarious. I think the word 'cute' now sticks! Bless. Cannot stop laughing. G, you sound fab!

8/04/2005 2:23 AM  
Blogger Migz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/04/2005 7:13 AM  
Blogger Migz said...

Nick, you're the full tothi! That last part of the post (chilli maize, bike-hopping into the sunset, tears in eyes etc) sounds like something Kenny Rogers would pay good money to turn into a song!

8/04/2005 7:23 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

a story told so well. Guess must have made a lasting impression.

8/04/2005 8:41 AM  
Blogger Blue Poet said...

Great Review Nick! The 'Kene Longers'Ringtone... brilliant!

Blue

8/04/2005 9:57 AM  
Blogger UARIDI said...

Where are the pictures? Some of us need visual representation.

By the way, I have made it official, I am the new aunti, nevermind your blogwife.

8/04/2005 12:02 PM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

got it!!!

8/04/2005 1:27 PM  
Anonymous Mentalacrobatics said...

LOL!
Funny post you guy!

8/04/2005 3:21 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@wangari:when dealing with a classic babe u have to go down to the roots. simple=best.haki ya ngai
@milonare:toboa...hmmmh...i may just ngoja the whole mistress thing doesnt work out and i'll be on air like a jilted lover on oprah. "oprah i tell u that girl darn done me wrong!"
@msanii:am tellin u this is a whole different family/society we live in.almost fictional yet very real
@Kinyi:ultra cool???we are ICE COLD. let me hear u in ur baddest behaviour i am ur neighbour..cammon shake cammon shake it like a polaroid picture...hey ya
@Poi:thanks a mil
@Daud:talk to the tanye cause the face aint listening!
@Farmgal:now unleash that well tuned pressure system off yours on ms k
@Wambui: Cute??? girl am hardcore-do u want more...bad to the bone...yeah right
@migz:ngoja i patent that idea before some country artist steals it with some crazy song "she cycled out of my sight, into my heart, round my memory and out of my wallet"
Shiroh:u better believe she left an impression and indentation
Blue:lol u had asked if i even ate-good one. as for that ring tone-ni ma!
Uaridi:yup u can be my adopted nephew hope u spoil me rotten like your sisters do. am well mannered/potty trained too/have my own income-u must love me
@mental:Godfather, am happy you're happy!

8/04/2005 6:34 PM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

hey Ms K if you reading this...this is called pressure and pressure for you to blog about the guess meet. I want all the versions, come to think of it guess hasnt said anything about meeting you..guess dear hope you're reding this am willing to wait few weeks but please do tell!

8/05/2005 1:17 AM  
Blogger gishungwa said...

You are a natural at this. At least now iam encouraged might just meet you at this rate. the Mills and Boon lines of the sunset and the walk eeehhh u guy just too deadly.
Ati you have a wife, mistress and aunties heh! the full famo had to be recreated.
20th at least its not kenya cinema haro haro u know.
Bu ha ha

8/05/2005 12:08 PM  
Blogger Magaidi said...

Nick - how nice of you. Such a gentleman.. not to ask for a lady's age after you've 'checked out her ID card'. Now who's "evasive and cunning as evasive and cunning can get". Funny story though. I liked it. - sugar cane? ice cream? Maize off the cob - are you guys on a diet? LOL!

8/05/2005 4:04 PM  
Blogger KymmBr. said...

sounds good! was there an after-party that we are not being told about?
lol just kidding! weeeeeh tukikutana na wewe, first thing yu get is a jab on yu'r left shoulder! I donn like being around such funny guys coz am all tears and all.
nice description!
yu get my two cents!

8/05/2005 5:47 PM  
Blogger s! said...

ahh.. kumbe ni wewe.. my jamaaz in west were telling me abt this slimeball seen escorting a hot babe like he was her bodyguard.. tunakujua wewe nicko!

8/07/2005 7:50 AM  
Blogger sandman said...

in a deep MO1 accent - "mara gwa mara nimesema hii indernet inaleta love gonnection, na hii gweli ni (kila mtu)...........maendeleo."

8/10/2005 3:14 AM  

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