Why I've been Silent?

-No, am not on a “BREAK” from my true love blog. And NO, I'm not having an affair and operating another blog incognito…or am I?

-No, the fact that my landline at home is not working... and now have to operate from cyber cafes…no access to internet hours on end…(sheddin tears as I type)…no that has nothing to do with it ...the fact that i miss my mozilla firefox...i miss that dial up from the comforts of pyjamas and music...

-No! MJY has not threatened to silence me…however I hear her upcoming post might not be pretty! And there have not been any talks of separation or divorce…those are nasty rumors being spread by lawyers who have never heard of confidentiality…love has lifted us up where we belong…we belong together and you know that am right…this is not the end of the road…she is not all cried out…waters have not run dry…our endless love is ever blazing ever blazing …I don’t wanna be a player no more…am stuck on you and I’ve got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just cant lose…

-No, neither has Guess nor Shiroh held me captive tied up to their bedposts (damn how many notches did I just count on their head-posts??)…getting fed on grapes and occasional belt welts!!!(hint hint girls!!!) Can you say working over time!

-No! Blue compass did not beg me to abstain from posting anything about him…he politely requested…the so called white flag routine...which I granted to him, but trust me the war ain’t over…he and his only friend Sandman(you coulda chosen clay or loam but u chose weak sand…) better go back to their cave walls and restrategise!! (NB they didn’t have drawing boards back in their days!) …I kill me!!!!

-No, I'm not busy measuring up for a suit for Mshairi’s wedding…or writing up a speech...or regrouping the Sleeze crew to unleash terror on the our Blog-Matriach’s groom to be! No that ain't it!

-No, my computer privileges have not been revoked here at the sanitarium...all is well! Though Milonare has been snoring a tad loudly of late…as MsaniiXL sucks his thumb relentlessly in a puddle of pee…I'm not too sure, but the air around the two of them is slightly non-hip-hop more ghetto-gangster rap! But serenity is always restored when Guess comes over in the evening with some ‘pills’ to chill our ills! …there’ll be some sweet times coming down on the night shift…it’s gonna be a long night…it's gonna be alright…on the night shift!

-No, it's not the fact that the post I’m working on still needs enough juice, drama and sauce. I’m still pairing up bloggers...based on their similarities and also how they interact with each other one on one E.g. Guess/Akiey, Mshairi/Blue, BadBoy Kymmbr/GoodGirl Poi, Kinyi/Freak Engineer, Milonare /Ms K, of course the immortal Mental/MJY…but that’s a post that could drain me and SPIDEY here has no strength…or a working dial up. Trust me you need to weave such a web when you have instant access…in the case of a war outbreak u need to be online!

-No Ms K, Gishungwa, and Kari I have not been the figure lurking in the shadows outside your bedrooms….you’ve got the wrong super-hero! It's Batman who does lurking…I creep... not lurk! But all the same…y’all look cute asleep!

-No, am not on a weight losing programme, in fact it’s been the opposite. In the past week I have indulged thrice in sumptuous buffets! Oh all without punishment of food poisoning! Oh I had me some chilli mutton…trust me that sheep was a raised for eating! It did not walk to its death, that baby, probably sat on cotton and was carried around… Damn y'all must discover the whole idea of going out on an eating spree-screw the bill, just savor the moment...oh and if you are eating in a jisty restaurant its very wise to just buy a bottle of 1litre mineral water=5-6glasses as compared to sweatin with a bottle of soda/juice since you can't afford another one.
Of course am now slightly broke-and no my phone has not been disconnected or electricity …hey who turned off the lights!?

-No, I have not been abducted by Aliens, or been returned by them…and am not one anyway!

-No, it's nothing to do with the fact I watched arguably the best movie this year 'CRASH' Damn that movie was too real and original-with a stellar 'B' list cast...it was nice seeing Ryan Phillipe, Larenz Tate, Matt Dillon, Brendan Frasier, Sandra Bullock all in one film. S! you were right about this movie. The style in which all characters eventually evolve and revolve around the others...this movie must be a contender come Oscar time!!!!

-Lastly it's nothing to do with the slamming weather we're having. Ladies and Gentlemen:heat has returned and am out in the sun getting a tan! Look out for a new bronze-lord out there!! I've also missed challenging my deodorant like this!! I derive strength from the sun(ooops wrong super hero again) I am rejuvenated and brand new...yeah whole load of crap!!!

So there you have it…that’s not why I have been away for long!