Thursday, August 25, 2005

Why I've been Silent?


-No, am not on a “BREAK” from my true love blog. And NO, I'm not having an affair and operating another blog incognito…or am I?

-No, the fact that my landline at home is not working... and now have to operate from cyber cafes…no access to internet hours on end…(sheddin tears as I type)…no that has nothing to do with it ...the fact that i miss my mozilla firefox...i miss that dial up from the comforts of pyjamas and music...

-No! MJY has not threatened to silence me…however I hear her upcoming post might not be pretty! And there have not been any talks of separation or divorce…those are nasty rumors being spread by lawyers who have never heard of confidentiality…love has lifted us up where we belong…we belong together and you know that am right…this is not the end of the road…she is not all cried out…waters have not run dry…our endless love is ever blazing ever blazing …I don’t wanna be a player no more…am stuck on you and I’ve got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just cant lose…

-No, neither has Guess nor Shiroh held me captive tied up to their bedposts (damn how many notches did I just count on their head-posts??)…getting fed on grapes and occasional belt welts!!!(hint hint girls!!!) Can you say working over time!

-No! Blue compass did not beg me to abstain from posting anything about him…he politely requested…the so called white flag routine...which I granted to him, but trust me the war ain’t over…he and his only friend Sandman(you coulda chosen clay or loam but u chose weak sand…) better go back to their cave walls and restrategise!! (NB they didn’t have drawing boards back in their days!) …I kill me!!!!

-No, I'm not busy measuring up for a suit for Mshairi’s wedding…or writing up a speech...or regrouping the Sleeze crew to unleash terror on the our Blog-Matriach’s groom to be! No that ain't it!

-No, my computer privileges have not been revoked here at the sanitarium...all is well! Though Milonare has been snoring a tad loudly of late…as MsaniiXL sucks his thumb relentlessly in a puddle of pee…I'm not too sure, but the air around the two of them is slightly non-hip-hop more ghetto-gangster rap! But serenity is always restored when Guess comes over in the evening with some ‘pills’ to chill our ills! …there’ll be some sweet times coming down on the night shift…it’s gonna be a long night…it's gonna be alright…on the night shift!

-No, it's not the fact that the post I’m working on still needs enough juice, drama and sauce. I’m still pairing up bloggers...based on their similarities and also how they interact with each other one on one E.g. Guess/Akiey, Mshairi/Blue, BadBoy Kymmbr/GoodGirl Poi, Kinyi/Freak Engineer, Milonare /Ms K, of course the immortal Mental/MJY…but that’s a post that could drain me and SPIDEY here has no strength…or a working dial up. Trust me you need to weave such a web when you have instant access…in the case of a war outbreak u need to be online!

-No Ms K, Gishungwa, and Kari I have not been the figure lurking in the shadows outside your bedrooms….you’ve got the wrong super-hero! It's Batman who does lurking…I creep... not lurk! But all the same…y’all look cute asleep!

-No, am not on a weight losing programme, in fact it’s been the opposite. In the past week I have indulged thrice in sumptuous buffets! Oh all without punishment of food poisoning! Oh I had me some chilli mutton…trust me that sheep was a raised for eating! It did not walk to its death, that baby, probably sat on cotton and was carried around… Damn y'all must discover the whole idea of going out on an eating spree-screw the bill, just savor the moment...oh and if you are eating in a jisty restaurant its very wise to just buy a bottle of 1litre mineral water=5-6glasses as compared to sweatin with a bottle of soda/juice since you can't afford another one.
Of course am now slightly broke-and no my phone has not been disconnected or electricity …hey who turned off the lights!?

-No, I have not been abducted by Aliens, or been returned by them…and am not one anyway!
-No, it's nothing to do with the fact I watched arguably the best movie this year 'CRASH' Damn that movie was too real and original-with a stellar 'B' list cast...it was nice seeing Ryan Phillipe, Larenz Tate, Matt Dillon, Brendan Frasier, Sandra Bullock all in one film. S! you were right about this movie. The style in which all characters eventually evolve and revolve around the others...this movie must be a contender come Oscar time!!!!
-Lastly it's nothing to do with the slamming weather we're having. Ladies and Gentlemen:heat has returned and am out in the sun getting a tan! Look out for a new bronze-lord out there!! I've also missed challenging my deodorant like this!! I derive strength from the sun(ooops wrong super hero again) I am rejuvenated and brand new...yeah whole load of crap!!!

So there you have it…that’s not why I have been away for long!

26 Comments:

Blogger Blue Poet said...

I am Numero Uno here!

Kijana,
I am glad you have learnt some manners. I will keep you informed on the wedding plans as Mshairi has insisted-against my wise counsel- that you have to be be a pageboy.
'Tis the season for romance and love is in the air.


Yours
UNCLE BLUE

8/25/2005 10:36 AM  
Blogger Guessaurus said...

Excuses excuses Nick - just admit you were chucked in the doghouse by MJY and I aint feeling your vybe no more coz you been neglecting me for her ministrations, which of course she is witholding!
You expect any one of these good people here to believe that you have dial-up, electricity and water in that doghouse!!! No wonder you are resulting to using industrial strength doom (sorry, deodorant) to quelch the stench (scare the fleas) LOL - catching a tan my a** - more like wiping said doom off ya cause you have been hanging around it too long and you look like an eskimo!!!

OK - I realise I am skating on thin ice (he he)so let me unleash some lush love my dear.
I have missed you, I realise you have some other life out there, but baby its cold outside, please dont go, maybe I didnt love you, quite as much as I should have, I dont wanna leave my baby alone, I dont want nobody else to hold you, there's a chance I'll take, maybe I'll stay, heaven can wait!!!

@Blue - LOL at Pageboy..

8/25/2005 12:04 PM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

lmao at you tanning yourself...rember to use sunscreen and reapply reapply and again reapply!

8/25/2005 12:12 PM  
Blogger Wangari said...

so why have you been silent?? i think you most likely have been in solitary. You thought Milonare was Doc Ock trying to steal G (Mary Jane..) so you attacked him in his sleep and was locked up with no access to a computer... i'm not far off am i??

msanii - bana kasirika!! being told you were "sucking your thumb in a pool of pee.." nah, you gotta take it to the streetz!!!

8/25/2005 1:54 PM  
Blogger Prousette said...

OK so what precisely is the reason you have been away?
Some longwinded hubby you make. How do all those women stand you?

8/25/2005 1:54 PM  
Anonymous Ms K said...

@Prousette
My sentiments exactly.

Sema mzee Nick! Habari ya masiku?

8/25/2005 3:44 PM  
Anonymous aunt mshairi said...

That's a funny post, nephew.

You will look cute as a pageboy when you are bronzed:)

Btw: I have heard rumours of another blog war. Here we go again:)

8/25/2005 6:57 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...

Nick... I was not snoring... I'm sure of it... I didn't hear myself snore so I couldn't have!!!

That song-use was awesome!!

LOL at sitting sheep...

@blue LOL you really crack me up!!

@wangari LOL - lakini usimess my undacova njaros...

8/25/2005 7:08 PM  
Blogger Poi said...

So what's the reason to your disappearance. Any undercover missions u been upto? Hhahhahha

Funny post, ati good girl? -thanks-u shud have seen my face-priceless- look. How dare you? What's this one on one? lol

MJY's post better be on u Gichboy coz u need to be set back on track lol

8/25/2005 8:59 PM  
Blogger sandman said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/25/2005 10:08 PM  
Blogger sandman said...

pole everyone I have to apologise for nicko's hide and seek stunt. I left a can of doom on the floor and the poor jama unwittingly kanyangad it.
Doom + Spider = muthokoi

it was touch and go there for a minute lakini he pulled thru.

8/25/2005 10:10 PM  
Anonymous Mentalacrobatics said...

LOL!
Lakini you cant hate on Batman, si batman si tight?!

8/26/2005 1:18 AM  
Blogger Joe Powel said...

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page too!

8/26/2005 3:06 AM  
Blogger KymmBr. said...

boy yu need to stop going thro the longer route. use the shorter one. so, why were yu silent? and if one of yu'r mistresses isn't measuring up, can a bratha hook yu up with another?
i hate pairs. rather go solo solo if yu kno what i mean. but that ws an interesting one.

crash rocks for sure. me beat on that one! get yu'r internet kijana. yu go eating up like yu aint done eaten enaff already instead of paying for yu'r dial-up? just like lil' Nick though....

...now lemmi collect my playboy magazine!!

8/26/2005 6:02 AM  
Blogger Stunuh Jay said...

It's good to see you back. Now that we know what you didn't do haven't been upto, dish...what's her name..stats...like species (tarantula etc)? Yah know fill in the blanks. I know the land lines can be dogdgey, but Yawa... this is a bit much!

8/26/2005 11:14 AM  
Blogger gishungwa said...

i always feel like someone is watching me.....
i said hook me up not stalk me, there is a difference
@blue
pageboy yeah right, nice one.

8/26/2005 12:12 PM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

Nick, noone in here ever thought you could be tied to a bed post. Is there another way of connecting to the www. Dial ups suck!!

8/26/2005 12:57 PM  
Blogger Msanii_XL said...

@Nicko!!!..ha ha ha is it because of shaking what your mama gave ya comment? wasn't that sorta comlimentary?...lol

8/26/2005 4:38 PM  
Blogger kinyi said...

yaani nick...ati me the CAB hooked up? since when? i've just been able to shake [him/mfupi] off/coz the lovin ain't the same/and he keep on playing games/like he knows am here to stay....shake him off/just like the Calgon commercial/i really got get up out of here...
ahem

freak and I well...yeah we connect like Cow(me) and Chicken(him), like Muriel(me) and Courage(him) and just like Billy(him)&Mandy(me) all of Cartoon Network...we are part of the greater power of Three, with Sunflower!! We are not as you so hinted in the above post involved in any consortium omnius vitae! As long as you specify that the pair is a plutonic one, its all good! Otherwise I'll be kicked out of my C.A.B society...

8/26/2005 6:53 PM  
Blogger s! said...

yes, you would do well to gain wisdom from my wise and hallowed words, o ignorant slimeball!

hehe ;-)

NB: niaje na Davo, amepotea wapi jo?

8/26/2005 7:10 PM  
Blogger Nyakehu said...

Hello Nephew, don't you get tired of instigating blogwars, I worry for you. It is a good thing you have'nt been able to match us all up otherwise we would be trying to live up to your vivid imagination.

8/26/2005 8:37 PM  
Anonymous acolyte said...

Good to know you are still alive!

8/27/2005 8:28 PM  
Blogger akiey said...

What's up Nick & guess who's bizack!? Ok, I nearly missed this one but when you say: '..post...still needs enough juice, drama and sauce.' am tempted to say: Everybody watch this space or if you're chicken take cover,lol!
-Yeah, Crash is all that. Best movie I watched this year & I will rewatch now that's on Dvd. Nice to know you enjoyed it!

8/30/2005 7:45 AM  
Blogger Nakeel said...

Nick nice you are alive but still aint you going to tell us where you were....

8/30/2005 12:08 PM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

kymmbr, before you can outsource the mistress, there is a concubine swhere.Nick if the mistress is not working can i....

8/30/2005 3:55 PM  
Blogger KymmBr. said...

...yeaaah Shiroh! go ahead. imma take my time b4 i find this boi a nice one so meanwhile yu are good to go.......just be careful coz yu are bound to learn games yu aint ever heard of...it's just like Nick ya kno?
happy concubination!!!!!!!

8/30/2005 5:54 PM  

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