Saturday, November 05, 2005

KBW SLEEZE RUMOR ROUNDUP

Just in case, you are new to the KBW SLEEZE crew. They are fictional journalists that debuted in another war back then that deal primarily with cheap sleaze. Now just thought I'd stir things up a little since its been quiet of late... with nothing but cheap humor at everyone's expense!
T=Tyrone and L=Lequita

T:Welcome to the KBW Rumor News RoundUp. I am the fly guy on the microphone, rugged like an ice cream cone, the one and only Tyrone. On my right here is our Latina Chiquita, Lequita , and we’re filling in for you regular anchor with the unshaven bush-Mutush .
L:Wasssup peeps, its your Ghetto-fabulous, firm ass, street smart diva up in the studio ready to spill some 411 on all y’all! You better sit tight coz I sure as hell will represent with the low down from your town.
T:You heard the braided sister. Today, we gonna round up what’s been happening around. Why have people gone all silent? And we’re gonna release some rumors going on…cause here on Sleeze News we deal only with real sleaze, straight up, made up drama, so hide you mama, cause manure's gonna blow up like Osama was a farmer!
L:So where do we start?
T:We can start with Nick’s Blog. That dude been so quiet ever since Guess broke his heart declaring mad-ghetto love for none other than Milo. Nigga didn’t even stand a chance didn’t even get 4 votes. The fat punk, been donut dunkin and hidin in another blog trying to resuscitate his wounded achy breaky heart. No wonder he is the serial blog killer!
L:Damn right i heard once u declare war on him you soon stop bloggin like the likes of MJY and Blue.
T:That's true...MJY be saying how she is busy at work but we know better, she was annihilated..as for Blue it's obvious he had one foot in the grave the other foot on a banana peel! When Guess breaks your heart, trust me destruction is just a coping vice...
L:Oh my homicidal Porcine Prince I’d love to unbreak his heart…I would not mind a little Pork-chop..get it Poke-chop. Not to mention some rump roast…fire up that grill I’m comin home and replacing your remote control with something different.
T:I hear you girl, going in for the kill like Ms Guess’s friend aren’t we?
L:Oh, Guess she is so in demand even from the ladies in different area codes... and just like the tease she is..she strings them along bumps them with her hips and drops them solid hard. First Nick…soon Milo will be dangling with his unmentionable jnr and twins wrapped in his net-ngotha…you saw what she did to that Diva. Going on an all expense paid trip acting all clueless... and when the babe wants nothing but some good old fashioned loving. Some jungle warming, a little leaf rustling and branch breaking... some getting to know each other on a multilevel level...damn i'm breaking into a sweat already...some bump and grind some stroke and slide-she refuses to give it up! Feigning sleep and disbelief, screamin ‘never gonna get it never gonna get it.’ I heard that babe be calling her ‘Guess-whore-ass.’ Now that gal was played, am sure she didn't see it coming! Guess am with you on this, Guess, if you gonna swing that way atleast get you some sleep first. You are my role model sista-play hard to get…but I wouldn’t have paid that heifer a cent!
T:Damn, we have chicks stringin people along like Gishungwa who waited till she was serenaded by Kamaru and his live band over some kachumbari, potatoes and the hottest Mutura in town…and when her beau Thomas proposed on bended knee…she picked the last toothpick…gobbled up the remaining nyake and told him over a full mouth that she was not feeling him and she don’t play that. Evidently, according to her, Thomas had squeezed the juice out of Gishungwa and nothing was remaining but seed and fibre..the girl had to step! Poor Thomas all he has now are his studies and a loan repayment scheme for that Rock she left with!
T:Now you know Guess and Gishungwa aren’t the only kinky ones.Coming up a close second on kinky is none other than Mutumia. Word is she was previously called Mutumie! This babe is a latent hurricane waiting to happen…she will have you all wrapped up from A-Z. Right now she is spinning two men round and round like a hoolahoop on her neck and waist and trust me the two of them are giddy!
L:Oh yeah, Mr man of Substance Acolyte(Akolittle), and my favorite hip hop brada Msanii Xtra Little…and trust me I’d know!
T:Are u saying here on live TV that you and Msanii and Acolyte
L:Damn right…both a go…T.K.O…had them begging for more runnin around like hamsters, flip-flappin like seals, howling like coyotes…too bad I gave him them the clap, that messed their faculties and hence they be in the looney bin.
T:But did u say they were little?
L:Unlike TeeJ and her last minute pads- size don’t matter to me…sure it was like a straw in a swimming pool…but my motto is don’t ridicule a fool with a wee tool...just get to biznaz as long as they can work my...
T:You are lying..no way they’d bump uglies with you…
L:Then who u think was upstairs at Mshairi’s apartment interrupting her poetic juices? Am telling you we rearranged and reupholstered furniture…Acolyte is a screamer and Msanii a squeler…damn I gotta give them a call...cause they were chariots on fire and i was Ben Hur riding them for 8seconds like a rodeo bull!
T:I thought THAT it was Mr and Mrs Mutumia? Getting their differences straightened out if you know what I mean?
L:Nuh uh! You know we be making love breaking stuff that ghetto love!
T:Please u been around the block the block and then back-don’t they have the street named after you? Heck, you don’t even have to pay parking fees in that area code!
L:That’s right.Yeah, what I'm I supposed to do when I'm all alone and my child is crying on the bedroom floor cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep around for a little bit of money cause he's daddy's gone... Don’t get played get laid!
T:Who's your baby daddy?
L:Ask Akiey...
T:Ok, what other fiction u talking about?
L:All I’m saying…that man better come and raise his child. I"m a sue his pictoral ass for child support...
T:Didn’t he pull a Billie Jean on your broke ass and said u ain’t never been his lover and that child ain’t his son!
L:Says him...tell him to bring his DNA up here and I’ll prove it to you…cause he's been creepin with that other gal on the side.
T:K.I.D.A.D.A? Irena?
L:Oh, the are long history-he doesn’t hung around long enough…leaves your head spinning and before u realize u wake up knocked up and deflowered.
T:But Irena and Kidada don’t have kids? And I know they are off sound morals and principals! They are just friends from around the way.
L:What’s ur point? Uh huh what your point be?
T:Am just sayin you lying..him and kidada are just friends that’s all.
L:That’s what he wants us to believe, at that time he was two timing Irena…remember he broke her heart she even stopped blogging trying to recouperate! And she went soul searching for some inner peace cause Lord God she loved her some Akiey…and now she is all healed, she is CiruBackInBusiness..not looking back-you go girl!!!!
T:I think you are nuts! And hol’ up, he isn’t creepin, he is too busy working on projects, goin for a job thingamajig carrying his appropriate tools.
L:Appropriate ‘tool’ more like it. Trust me he has pulled that dressing up like Richard Gere routine before pickin up his Pretty Woman way too many times. And now it looks like Afromusing soon to be Afrogiggling…soon to be Ms Afronotamused is about to get picked up on the solar side walk for more than some recharging. Trust me one stroke of Akiey and you will need to go on Hiatus.
T:Let’s get this straight. Who have u not been involved wit on KBW?
L:Let’s see. There was that arrogant S.O.B biomaterials expert that designed my silicon boobies and had the freaking audacity to leave his signature on my right boobie ‘S!’ The freakin nerve how I’m I to explain that ‘S!’ Do I say its short for Sista? Sugar? Silicone?... but thankfully I didn’t pay a cent not even one...but boy I ain’t never contorted my body like that...no wonder he broke a tooth. Lequitta girl was not amused so I dropped his sorry ass! His the first bruda I ever dumped!
T:How bout Mental?
L:Hell freakin NO…that guy can drop it like its hot better than I can. Damn did u see him on that clip…he was dippin it low…rolling it all around…POP POP POP that thing! And u know that must have been JAM cause JELLY don’t shake like that!!!!!
T:But I thought Mental and Ms K be having a lil som sometin…
L:Get OUT!…is that why she is all broody and moody?
T:Yup claiming liberation and free spirit and preparedness…she is a shaken shaven cocoa doin some acrobatics of the arithmetic kind!
L:SHUT UP! What you mean arithmetic?
T:Am talking bout 5,6,7,8... baby girl is 1?2?3 weeks late!
L:Damn Damn Damn…U mean she and Mental? I need to call that girl up! I need some low down...is that why she was adding weight...go figure?
T:What about Sandman and Nakeel having secret rendezvous by the kids playground? You know him and his pedophile tendancies..he keeps insisting they go to playgrounds and schools and swimming pools…And she is so clueless! He be buying her ice cream and flowers..heck did u see her last post with her picture? You can tell she is smitten by this Sandman and his cataract eyes. Posing ever so sweetly and naïve with bouganvillae in her hair…having stolen mama's make-up...as she recites the 'Lonely Girl' poem he wrote for her...with a distant look in her eyes...an upbeat heart palpitation
L:No no no, Sandman is the dude that left Farmgal hanging the other night. She had candles all over the place, with some Luthor Vandross on CD. The place looked like an exorcism scene, and Sandman took to the hills like a little biAtch!
T:Word? You mean Sandman and Farmgal?
L:Straight trippin dawg. I hear she forked out her own money to put him up and build him his own store! Gave him all she had...and he be playing with a lil Nakeel on the side!
T:You mean he's a kept cheating man?
L:That’s what I heard. I heard this over the little party we had at Wangari’s house…you remember she moved house right..I'm telling you the ladies were gossiping harder than Kinyi takes down her liquor! Harder than Spicebear's addiction to the secret NYAS cult pro-Hitler organisation!
T:You of all people got invited? Who else was there?
L:Of course I gate-crushed…it was a high society tea party..and they served biscuits and…
T:Let me guess you were the Tart/Crumpet?
L:Nigga you’re gonna take that back…anyhu…Uaridi and Prousette were there. But it was too comfy for my liking. They were all too lady like! Prousette was there knittin her baby a matchin sweater, mittens and booties…. Mshairi was there with a red lollipop and seemed lost in translation…apparently she is not the same anymore. She kept whining how she felt like there is something missing…something that she couldn’t put down on paper?
T:Is it Blue? Cause I hear the two not together anymore?
L:Maybe...him...but I'm telling you she was giving as bad vibe worse than Wangari’s Color Scheme.Even Uaridi’s numerous roses couldn’t help…or were the roses the problem? She needs to ease up on them roses!
T:Oh! You had to go there. Wangari can’t decorate to save her life?
L:All I’m saying Cilia better come up and pray for her! Nurse her back to visual health! Damn even her imaginary friend Baloncraz can help in them prayers...we need to get the colorblind spirits EXORCISED!!!
T:Imaginary friends?
L:Cammon you mean you never notice how "some" people have numerous so called untraceable commentors...so I'm sure the likes of Baloncraz and Daud El Raud and many, many, many others are as real as my nails! And that's my political statement!
T:With all the nasty things you darn said you had better run after this airs.
L:Oh,I will run but with a little grace and finesse unlike our dear undeodorised Shiroh who was panting all over the highway…runnin helter skelter throwing Keringet water all on herself… she was all over the place like Medusa’s bad hair do!
T:Do u ever say anything kind? Do u ever sleep at night? You do know Medusa is gonna bitch-slap you into last night! Damn she will put her foot so far up your ass you will have toes for teeth!!!
L: … but you know I don’t sweat it..because it’s so pathetic...to let it…keep me involved in that He-Said she said crowd
T:Enough with the Salt and Pepa..who else we left out?
L:You tell me! Are you still trying to get it on with Kipepeo..last I remember you were chillin with the finns, rolling outta your jeans willing for some sins?
T:Damn, girl I visited her the other day and she was all trippin-but you know that’s the way love works out sometimes. I mean one minute I'm trippin next she’s trippin and we both be trippin…
L:So what happened?
T:I think she has contracted something nasty on her…something viral.
L:BIRDerfly FLU?
T:I wish..first day she was all pretty! Second day she was looking all nasty. Third day she was just PRETTY NASTY! So i told her when she recovers and feels well...she can call...someone else!!!
L:No, nasty is my Kymmbr calling it quits and leaving me high and dry! That player wanted none of my vibe..and now he has upped and left leaving me with the likes of you.
T:Speaking of which Sunflower too is leaving after her post got her in trouble. Remember how she got her groove back in Jamaican. When her petals were plucked one by one...yeah she made me feel like a eunuch! Hot Damn that girl played with my emotions!
L:But didn't you get yours with Stunnuh..as i recalled she was left with pure, unadulterated bliss.
T:I don't kiss and tell but that tigress left me wanting...she is a carnivore-devours whole.
L:I'm sure she does..but not like I do...anyway i guess that rounds up this episode of SLEEZE NEWS. Make sure you join us soon...for we will always try to be here embellishing like we should!
T:Yeah, its been great keep it locked and stocked..over and out! Peace!


57 Comments:

Blogger Milonare said...

*Searching an empty stadium looking for the best seat*

Feels great to be first and first with a bang I tell you!!!

LOLOLOL

Im sure the post is funny so Ive already started laughing in advance...

Scanning the horizon for msanii, guess, naks, fgal... Na bado...

Guys and gals... you need to pull up those socks!! *fishnet stockings in nursy's case*

Eat my dust I tell you, eat my dust!!

OKAY... Time to read the post... LOLOLOLOL

11/05/2005 8:48 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...

LMAAUO (Laughing My Ass And Unmentionabos Off)!!!

Uuuuwwwiii roomie yur fired!!

we’re filling in for your regular anchor with the unshaven bush-Mutush LOLOLOLOL

Ati "Some jungle warming, a little leaf rustling and branch breaking" - Im in tears I tell you...

This is one funny funny post!!!
Wah wah wah - Akiey and his tool of trade, Aco/msanii and their wee tools *my ribs are aching*

Woi woi

Lemme go finish laughing then Ill return to finish commentin

LMAAUO!!!!

11/05/2005 9:11 PM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

am here Milo you are lucky I let you be first. Now now bwana Nick ati sandman left.....you need to be slapped my friend. Where have you been hiding?

11/05/2005 9:13 PM  
Anonymous Mentalacrobatics said...

I thought I told MsK to keep our shenanigans on the down-low?
The woman must have leaked the 411. Anyway still since she’s ma babymama to be I cant hate :-)

11/05/2005 9:27 PM  
Blogger akiey said...

Hehe! Nick, count yourself lucky Bro, yours is the 1st blog am visiting in a long while.My comp's acting up Biiiiig time & I need to reinstall some programs. Can't stay online too long coz darned machine kicks me out after 2mins:( Will be back to comment better but...I plead innocent to all deeds & misdeeds am being associated with:))! Money & diapers have changed hands and I will fight the accusations to the bEtter end!...that baby aint mine since he can't do sh*t with photos, that's my alibi for now....

11/06/2005 11:49 AM  
Blogger spicebear said...

auuuui nick, ive only read half you nyASS (emphasis on the double s since you refused orientation) ... dude, you're asking for it! lol. i'll be back when ive read the rest. too funny!

11/06/2005 4:50 PM  
Blogger spicebear said...

auuuui nick you have outdone yourself ... ati nakeel with bourganvilia .... and aco and msanii ... LMAO! you are too hilarious. great post.
p.s
report to boot camp a.s.a.p ...

11/06/2005 5:11 PM  
Blogger mutumia said...

So far the KBW men are net-ngothas wearers, rump shakers (bYctch- left/right) and 8 second men? Whaattt?? He he he... You know I'll be right back!

11/06/2005 9:35 PM  
Blogger mutumia said...

Aki Nick you have skills for real Lakini Dude c'mon- "manure's gonna blow up like Osama was a farmer"???? ama "chillin with the finns...willing for some sins" ? I mean- how? Ngai Baba. I can't even lie- this post had me laughing out loud I can't even be mad at all the lies that Tyrone and that lil ho Lequita be spreading. Yes I said it- I'ma whup her sorry behind. What?

11/06/2005 9:56 PM  
Anonymous acolyte said...

@ Nick
just wait till my real baby mama (mutumia) get hold of you and your tricks!!She'll cut you too!!Sleep with one eye open boy!!!

11/06/2005 11:39 PM  
Anonymous Tee J said...

LoL!! Too funny! This is good. For a minute there I thot you'd forgotten about Mental and his dancing...but ofcourse you didn't.

Let me soma again...

Oh, thx for the heads up on Nakeel's pic. I wanted to let her know it's mzuri but only bloggers can comment on her blog...:-(

11/07/2005 12:47 AM  
Blogger Adrian said...

this was just too funny!!
and i'm not even sure i understood everything...

11/07/2005 1:30 AM  
Anonymous kari said...

hmmm the madness hasnt ended!!!its been a while since i checked out the blogs(kwanza i deleted mine..i chokad) but clearly same things never change..btw pple,be warned-there's someone out there who has anzad a blog with my name on it!(nyina.blogspot)and with the username of kari-steal my web name,,,but dont be so daft as to steal my real name!!!sheeeh!yeah so if u read any comments by 'me' that make u wonder,just know its the freak out there:-)kari

11/07/2005 1:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what the fuck? i aint gone nowhere!!!! am still in and conting but KBW is not my thing (sorry for ya'll who think this forum ws the greatest thing since Jesus)

come visit me soon son. ya kno i need to pinch yu'r ears and do a lil' flip on that shit!

where am i at? impirical dot squarespace dot com. just got my shit up in that B* so am still trying to figure out what's up. still hooked up to the shit yu inhaling though...wanna pass some of that stuff?

11/07/2005 7:56 AM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

bitch slapping into last night!!! nicholas where on this earth do you get such lines from? great post!! had me laughing, but im with spicey on this one..ur a nyaSS!!!!

11/07/2005 10:50 AM  
Blogger nick said...

@MILO:you are quite the contender...of course i'm just as fired up as you are...ebu we do collabo by Fri if i havent been killed and annihilated
@Fgal: u can spank me any time gal as long as u open a store for mi pia...dont segregarte me out
@Mental:where is ur baby mama she is quite quiet am expectinh her to come up in here ghetto style and sort out lequita for mentionin her weight!
@akiey:LeKIEYTa still has it bad for u...what u gonna do..ebu send over that hi ld support cheque
@Spicebear:Ati now am a NYAS...wewe if u weren't finishin high school and busy with K.C.S.E i woulda sorted you out and ur frekin bunsen burner
@Mutumie:Lequita say bring it and leave the weave and fake nails at home!
@acolyte: weh kijana ati one eye open whattu gonna do?
@teej:hope u r stacked up with bare absorbent.
@adrian:woiye don't get too lost it was all compiled with peoples latest posts or comments.
@kari: i think there are 2 of u called kari...u should be flattered someone has stolen ur id...
@anonymous:hey i know u...glad to see u in the area...hope u keep comin back
@kips:hey baby gal hope u have recovered and i wanna see what u and Nyas-mate will do.

11/07/2005 1:40 PM  
Blogger Nakeel said...

oooh and the brother says he saw Sandie and I at the playground.. what did he do? didnt protect the lil siz..
Ati mum's stolen make up holding a bouganivilia? oooh stop it thats not true... all am as innocent as ever...

11/07/2005 3:14 PM  
Anonymous Mental's baby mama said...

Heh heh wacha I just lenga that gibe about my weight. Lakini, I'm watching you!!

11/07/2005 4:46 PM  
Blogger Guessaurus said...

Nick-ol'-ass - if I wasnt too busy today, I woulda waged an all out war with you on this, but I Guess I will hold on till xmas - you do realise that you have been permanently deleted from my xmas presents' list - not just for this year. Milo be getting your quota, and Musa-knee is in the running as well. Your loss....

That manura, osama, farma biz just cracked me no end. Surely there must be a screw loose somewhere in your head... What am I talking about, I already know you have loose screws - you used them to tighten them dentures you loosened when biting Milo's knees - and you know he got very HARD knees that loonie.
Stop hating, just because he got 11 votes, means his game is tighter than yours - up your game or loose your dame :)

@Milo - 'fishnet stockings' - you mistaking me with Lequita over there...

@Nicko - you are officially in the hole for the rest of the week....

11/07/2005 4:51 PM  
Blogger I-M-Fuloshit said...

Ladies, ladies, ladies...

Yur knight in shining armour is here!!! He's stepped aside and there I am behind him!!

If you like your guys in high-waist shorts, akala-wearing, pararad legs and lips like Obel... gimme a holla...

As for that steel-wool braided lequita... this invite aint for you... Keep your ghetto distance!!!

*but see me kule nyuma*

Hahahaha at Nick and yur post... You be so lucky you didnt mention me oderwise I'd have been all dental, super-mental, bila-gentle on your gentile genit*ls!!!

I hear mutumia whispered to you that her neck and waist be tired of the AcoSanii combo...

Si you hook a baniani bruda up in here!!! I'm willing to go thru all levels of CFA I tell you!!! Level 1, Level 2, Intermediate, Tertiary, Distance Learning, Mutumizi na Matumizi...

11/07/2005 8:05 PM  
Anonymous Msk's BabyDaddy said...

and can i just say, ma babymama's milkshake brings the boys to the yard. but no stress cause i knock them out.

11/07/2005 8:13 PM  
Blogger Blue Poet said...

am watching you BOY.




blue

11/07/2005 9:06 PM  
Anonymous Tee J said...

Haiya Nick, mpaka you brot Blue back.

I hope he continues with the escapades that went on under the Mugumo tree and his cubical

11/07/2005 9:47 PM  
Blogger k.i.d.a.d.a said...

Nick...oh no you didn't....you're cracking me up open!! This has got to stop...LMAO!!!

All the KBW folks...it's been written...first heard and exposed only and on Nick's blog!!

Anyway, Nick, let me let you in on another...

Lequita is just being a biatch!! That kid don't look like A.k.i.e.y...the baby daddy is in Penitentiary...I know that bwoy...he tried to serenade my ass like WHOA!!! Told the nigga he ain't gon' hit it and bounce like he played sista gal over here(Lequita)..

Lequita...be gone..I always thought her biatch ass would say sum'thn like dat...yeah..K.i.d.a.d.a's got a man (Akiey) at home...and he's so good to me!!!

You better recognise.

11/08/2005 12:47 AM  
Blogger Msanii_XL said...

DAMN...i roll in namba 25?

"my homicidal Porcine Prince" thats him ....he he

Nikco hilario as usual!

be back with more

11/08/2005 2:53 AM  
Blogger Sunflower said...

26..................
*weeps in SHAME* KWENDA Nick.... this was hilarious and you portrayed them ghetto chicks SO well! LOL! Hilarious! Ive sent you one my loose petals! LMBAO!

11/08/2005 8:31 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

LOL, Nick, will come and finish. I know some people have a prize on your neck, au sio Guess

11/08/2005 12:59 PM  
Blogger Poi said...

Hehehhe ok so Bcraz u have taken it on u GichakaPunk and gone on to say and brand him imaginary? not pleased et al but on the other hand donn blame u, shulda seen it coming huh?damn me or you?

Happy Week :)

11/08/2005 7:31 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@nakeel:hey did i forget the cup of bournvita next to u as well?
@Ms K: LOL ati lenga..ur not going there...but LOL at u and mental..am even beginnin to believet he rumors
@Guess:in my defense...er...uhm...i didnt write tha post??? er...uhm...i'll behave from now on???
@I-M-Fuloshit:You wait lequita gets a hold of u...oh u will be full of it alright!!!!
@Mental: have u ever heard babyface's song wit snoop "thats my baby's mama!" LOL at that song as well...and they're like its better than y'all damn right..its better than y'all...
@Blue: you have to come back...i will start a campaign to bring you back
@TeeJ:am surprsied as hell he has to come back kbw is not the same without him
@Kidada:LMAO ati her jamaa in some jail somewhere...she will not be amused!
@msaniiXL:our ever so quiet roomie...soon roomie soon...
@Sunflower:ha ha and we know how loose those petals be? wink
@Shiroh:u know i havenothnin but love for u concubine
@Poi:cammon u know we was just teasin right?

11/09/2005 10:06 AM  
Blogger Wangari said...

eish now, i aint colour blind!!!

honestly though, you know you are completely out of your head, dont you? this is fantastic, i'll have to print it out to read when i need something to cheer me up...

well done nick! watch yourself though coz its ON!!!!

11/09/2005 3:38 PM  
Blogger Irena said...

Nick:Huh? Fell in love with who... what ...that?where ,when... and went to recuperate becoz of a hearbreak plizz, I was in jamaica getting my grove back on when I went AWOL for a while, (eat your heart out) . I do not carelessly e-fall in love my darlin Nick! that is cheap!

11/09/2005 11:50 PM  
Blogger Irena said...

Nick: Can I politely ask you to leave me out of your innuendos.Ahsante!!!

11/10/2005 12:01 AM  
Anonymous Wifey said...

Dude...it's SLEAZE not SLEEZE...

I see nothing has changed!

11/10/2005 12:38 AM  
Blogger Irena said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11/10/2005 12:39 AM  
Blogger Medusa said...

Lol..it's full on war I see- See how people just spin your stories and just throw them back in your face..er, hair in my case..
You my blog friend have just been diagnosed with foot-in-mouth disease..it's on!

11/10/2005 1:30 AM  
Anonymous Bolancraz said...

Well, i must say thank you and appreciate tht you remembered to mention me in your blog: never thought i'd left a footprint. I enjoy your humour and adore your gift. Thanks for sharing it with us. I shall try, as i always strive for, to be real...yes, i am real.

11/10/2005 4:35 AM  
Blogger gishungwa said...

nick nick nick
thanks for the laugh

11/10/2005 10:07 AM  
Blogger sandman said...

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

Just say "NO" to drugs.
Thank you.

KBW Surgeon General.

11/10/2005 12:34 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@wangari:hey they say love is blind too...thanks 4 the compliment
@irena:cammon whats wrong with a little friendly jab
@wifey:glad ur back u cute thing...my crew is called SLEEZE but as u can see in the 1st paragraph i know how to spell SLEAZE!!! thank u very much-i see things havent changed either...ebu return to blogland stat-ur bloghubby ordering you!
@medusa:ha ha bring it on split ends and all
@boloncraz:damn glad u popped by-karibu sana feel at home of course i know u are real but does my SLEEZE crew know that.
@Gishungwa:any time
@SAndman:now u unleash the warnin...too late

11/10/2005 7:25 PM  
Anonymous I-M-Fuloshit said...

Hehehehe

Veve nick...

You is upsetting de ladies.. Please cntinue to do so and direct them to me. I-M-Fuloshit got enuff mojo to go around...

Irena will be surprised at hw quickly she will e-fall for the fuloshitster when she catches a glimpse of my hairy toes in akalas

I agree with sandman for the ladies "say no to drugs, yes to Fulo"

Pandre wery nice
Chuti wery handsome
Baniani wery sexy
Ladies you know you want some!!!

*shaking the baniani bahind with vigour*

11/10/2005 7:29 PM  
Blogger Irena said...

Nick: Has someone told you before when you use another's name , their assumed name or otherwise, you need to ask for approval lest your ass get sued:-)) Mutumia uyu wa karatina ndathakaga muno uguo, haiya we nikii,ndui atumia a nyiri uria mari oru..Urenda njike survey kinya menye wi wau na njuke kuu na itimu:-))))) I have maconnections in Nyeri Nick:-).:-))))

As for you i-m fullofshit..there was a chuti I fell for madly and not e- love.I'm sure Akiey can attest to that!!

11/10/2005 9:28 PM  
Anonymous fulo said...

I know what you are saying...

Once you go baniani, you is never ewer go back....

I-m fullofshit is my cousin-brother... I am i-m-fuloshit but you can call me fulo...

I think dis is love... Thanks for the hook-up Nick!!! You is wery wery good boy!!!

11/10/2005 10:26 PM  
Blogger Irena said...

@Fulo : Actually he was a Singh or in Kenyan karathinga:-). Nice young man, and yes once you go karathinga you never ewer go back... I even knew how to cook Roti for him ....:-)))

11/10/2005 10:58 PM  
Blogger Irena said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11/10/2005 10:59 PM  
Blogger mutumia said...

@Constipated aka "Fulo" of the full waisted shorts- challenge accepted! This better not be a case of full(y) wasted shots. Better know about myambuliko of -tumia (First nyambuliko: Kutumia na utumizi). Plus long distance CFA? Please! I heard it was more like accelerated program CFA.

11/11/2005 9:02 AM  
Blogger LifeMoments said...

I think you pronounced your own death warrant...

11/11/2005 7:58 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...

wah wah wah

theres drama up in hea i tell you!!!

Hhahahaha this is too fresh...

Cant wait to see tha fulotumia LOLOLOL

11/12/2005 12:37 AM  
Blogger akiey5 said...

To:
Nick, Milo, Irena, K.i.d.a.d.a & all named & un-named culprits & victims of the BlogSleaze...if I was some ordinary mere mortal of a blogger I would go nutters & get mad at Lequitta for all she's been saying about me(U ovbviously still me miss me gal & NO, UGLY ARSE BABY ISN'T MINE-no support checks for you!)
-Nick, once again,your imagination runs wild like a Samburu bull on Kenyatta Avenue caught up in Nairoibi's 5.30pm rush hour:)).
You hafi make we laugh so haard, you rude bway!!

@Irena, will help you sue the dentures out of daktari Nick for defamation...or is it impersonation Nick/Tyrone/Lequita/Couch 'Tato...errr.KBW's most fav male blogger:))!
I second u on your having had a good thing with the Singh b/fie. A real decent gentleman he is, so the sleaze is but blogsleaze:)

@K.i.d.a.d.a, tell 'em about the happy home we got(LOL!)...ooops, tell this his Lequita for whom I had loads of respect & she left me running away for dear life after she mistook my caring for her as a weakness to strap her child onto me,eeeeish!

@Milo, bro, the chiles talking about my "tool" like I was some Michaelangelo's Dadid statue is making me sweat(hihi!). I think of tools & they see tool. Only one blogger has the power & license to talk of his unmentionabos on blog & that's you Milo, so I pass the mantle back to you:)!
-Nick, plz allo me to go plan my revenge on Lequita via pictures...I Vill Be Back!

11/12/2005 1:41 AM  
Blogger kinyi said...

hmmmm...another good one! Lakini am I that bad an alchy? Nawww....
LOL@ Sunflower having loose petals weeee...thats my beshti!

11/12/2005 11:56 AM  
Blogger s! said...

contrary to popular opinion.. i am the one who dumped Lequita.. she was all mouth and nothing else. yes, there are times when that is not a good thing! ;-)

11/15/2005 8:06 PM  
Blogger s! said...

did i read somewhere ati someone was making roti?! ni nani?! papa bear here could do with some love and caring!

11/15/2005 8:09 PM  
Blogger s! said...

@ the fulo clan - you vill not come here and steal my thunder! i ham the original vaniya here.. but velcom to the clique bruddas!

11/15/2005 8:13 PM  
Blogger Irena said...

s! Yep if you want roti, tandoori, Biryani, kebabs etc, Lakini can papa bear handle this kyuk woman?

11/16/2005 6:14 PM  
Blogger s! said...

@ irena - oh yeah!! i'm sure papa bear can love you up real good! ;-)

11/18/2005 7:28 AM  
Blogger Irena said...

s!: It is on!!! When I come to your neck of the woods, better be prepared!

11/18/2005 7:59 PM  
Blogger Joseph Walking said...

nico kweli u are not at work this post is so long lol merry chrismas

12/22/2005 3:57 AM  
Blogger jm said...

dude!!

kumbe this is what ur crazy ass was up 2 them days!!

woooow!! hehee, i've met irena in my neck of the woods, hehe, she was letaing stress 4 u, ha?

6/23/2007 12:34 AM  

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