Award Speech

The Sleeze crew is out on the red carpet interviewing the Blog celebrities on this auspicious occasion that is the Kaybee Night. It has been a crazy two weeks of voting and finally the night arrived. Finally the Academy of voters cast there votes, the People stated their choice and now the awaited results were out in a Golden Globe fashion. Awards were handed out by an array of KBW presenters. Winners were elated beyond words.

Everyone was dressed in obviously rented designer outfits and borrowed jewelry. Even the skeptics attended the show. Definitely, a first in KBW where bloggers united in anticipation, waiting to see who the winners were. Such solidarity! Such Loyalty! What a show!

A quick recap of the winners…here is the acceptance speech from Nick the winner of "Coolest Blogger."Unconfirmed sources say he broke down like an uncouth Halle Berry and undignified Gwenyth Paltrow. Somersaulted his porky proportions onto the stage like Cuba Gooding Jnr. kissing and groping a pleasantly surprised Kipepeo who presented the award to him. (Remember Adrian Brody?)

“Wow! I totally didn’t see that coming! It warms my heart and rekindles my spirits. Resets my thong and refreshes my loins! WoW! The word coolest has never been used on me. Humorous yes…but not Coolest. DAMN YOU MILO, BURN IN HELL! Entertaining yes…but not Coolest. DAMN YOU MSANII XL SCORCH IN HELL! But coolest wow! This brings back so many painful, repressed memories. Back to when I was a bi-spectacled, knock-kneed, roly-poly fat with acne kid dying to fit in… into the P.E shorts and swimming trunks…into swimming floaters…school play costumes. Wishing to be picked in the football team…Hoping to get invited to the best parties. Hoping to get love letters with scented perfumes and lovey dovey hearts…with a flirtatious R.S.V.P A.S.A.P. Instead of “Please give me your math homework NOW and don’t expect anything in RETURN!” (Breaking down) And now look at me now holding this Kaybee! (Holding back tears and raising one hand in the air like a swearing in ceremony.) I feel I have come of age… (Volley of tears!) I feel accepted. (Booing and Hooing.) This here is my party invite! (Sniff!) This here is my…sniff…scented love letter! (Sniff!) My fraternity Jacket! (Waving Kaybee in the air frantically!) This here is my contact lens and zit remover! My R.S.V.P! I am accepted…I am Loved…Appreciated…I exist and I’m noticed…and yes finally can say I am c…ccc…cool! I am part of the team…I fit in…sniff…I belong!

(Regaining composure…blood shot eyes…runny eyes...subtle make-up no longer subtle!)

Finally I would like to thank:
>The Academy.
>S! For introducing me to the world of blogging…thanks to you, you showed me the blogger. (Yelling!) Show me the blogger! Show me the blogger!
>Blogspot, my URL…you were the VESSEL through which this was possible.
>The dudes and babes that comprise KBW. The blog relations, yahoo chat rooms, meet ups, sms’s, emails…you know yourselves.
>G-Papa: For inviting the freaky geek into your ring. He knew this tadpole could turn into a fully fledged Frog.
>Sleeze crew: Lequita for being quiet!
>To Princess Leia and Yoda (wink) a.k.a Wifey and Onty…for being there right from the start always with a helping hand…never too far away. May the force be with you!
>To the Vote-Recounters from Dade, Florida. Thank you for ensuring each pregnant, dimpled, dented chad voted my way!

Thank you all. Mariah Carey Rules. MJ will have a BIG comeback next year! 24 rocks!..."

Yes that was Nick’s speech at the award ceremony. We will have an exclusive on the Post Award Party…after we get through some legal technicalities sorted out for Lequita-once her withstanding restraining orders are lifted she will report live from Party.

We here at Sleeze News would like to congratulate each and every winner: Thinker, Mental, Mshairi, MJY, Milo, Guess, Msanii, Ms K, Kenyan Pundit, Maitha and Ndesanjo. Big ups to all of you!!!!!!