Saturday, April 01, 2006


I’ve been around this social scene for quite a while and I almost thought I was burnt out. Boy oh Boy there is a new crowd and they are moving in and taking over our old place. We have become proverbial has-beens and we can’t do anything about it. There’s a new generation blooming-time to create room and diversify! I’m quite impressed with the new lot totally interactive unlike our old generation that clung in droves…and by them droves we are drowning. So here I am to revitalize ourselves and reclaim our blog-land. OLD KBW’s unite! Let’s show them how this was done back in the day!

So instead of an April fool’s Post Lets talk about the blogging game…also inspired by a recent post by KenyanGal..(could you come take a walk with me...eeeee)

1. Blog-Ho’ing: The art of visiting most bloggers and commenting.

Remember the likes of MJY and GUESS who had been so around they were a circle! The kind neighbours welcoming new neighbours with a warm cup of tea and a basket of fruity gossip!

2.Blog-Stalking: The art of commenting even before the blogger is through editing.
Yaani the blogger is more persistant than your avatar! e.g Msanii…was always there even, before u edit your post a second time that punk was all up your comment section! Speed dial? Jobless? Sure racing to a post raises tension and gives sike to the blogger. Of course there is that annoying race Guess and I started, which I perfected by first commenting “1st here” and reading the post later. It just happened that Guess and I would be reading Milo’s post the same time and the one with the shorter comment would land at #1. Another blog we’d run to quickly was Mutumia’s…it was Fast and Furious and First and hence the coining of FFF!

3.Blog-Wars: Declaring nuclear war in the hope of annihilation and humiliation of your opponent blogger.
OH, how I miss them! Pick on anyone and let them have it!

4. Blog-Romance: The on-page romance between two consenting bloggers!

Beauty was in the eyes of the bloggers. Remember the Loves of last year? What happened to on-going chemistry between bloggers: Acolyte and Haidhuru? Ms K and Thinker and a certain slice of “cake?” Sandman and Stunnuh? Poi and Kymmbr? Guess and Milo? Akiey and Kidada? Cammon revive them flames! Bend over like in an up country jiko and blow…fan them fires and revive them dying embers.

Back then I had a wife and a mistress and a concubine…despite inadequacies and shortcomings I was doing alright but talk about not keeping up with the young lot nowadays!

5. Comment Commandments:Rules of engagement a.k.a etiquette

-If you do/did not read the post, at least let it not show in your comment. Don’t pick the first or last paragraph and ride on that...thou shall comment in totality
- A smiley or an LOL...unacceptable!!!
-Commenting is like Dating: Thou shall go around and come around! Thou shall not just accept comments and not have the decency to go over and comment…and comment again and again. Be a decent date! If taken out return the favor as well! Thou is not a one-night stand…one comment constitutes the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
-Comments are like love and thou shall grow with love. More importantly thou shall love one another as u wish to be loved.

6. Know your blogger. To avoid misconceptions and to avoid humiliation.

-Afromusing is not a dude but a fair maiden…but remember those hands back then?
-Mshairi may be as energetic as a two-year old. Hip and with it like the rest of us…but she is Aunty Mshairi to you thank you very much.
-Thinker thinks…ebu try a blog war with him and thou shall get it worse than a proctologist could ever give it to you! Thinker will rally his orange blog movement crowd and skin u alive and burn u at the alter.
-Nakeel is not an Asian chick!
--Remember when some guy was chatting up Sandman cause ati his eyes were feminine?
-Know your difference between AfroM/AfroFem…A-musing/K-Musings…WM/WMKtafsiri/maarifa…nick/tato…

7) Oh my Gawd Blogs! These are those blogs that have total anonymity and hence the bloggers have nothing to lose by giving you a peg to hang their dirty laundry.

Nothing brought in ratings like these. Ms K was kinky in her Pretty in Pink blog. Sunflower was your Kenyan Terry Macmillan getting her groove back in Jamaica. Guess was at volcano lava temperature at times…and the funny thing is on KBW the gents are more reserved and some Ladies little…er…cough...little less reserved with a splash of nymphomania salad served with an all you can eat buffet with a glass of carnivorous wine!

8)Stereotype blogs:
(We shall use movie titles to define)

-The sweet damsels with girlie posts as Aco would say. Blogging while Sleepless in Blogland…or the Shakespeare’s in Lust
-Those with Logs of a mad, black, woman waiting to exhale
-The macho ones, Chronicles of Naniii(stolen from KM) / Return of the Lion King/King Kong with a delta force attack mode. Experienced/Authoritative with more mojo than Austin Powers!
-The ladies with License to thrill, with Boomerang love stories and bitter sad endings even after two playing that game. They know that there is a thin red line between basic instinct and fatal attraction…
-The personal Bridget Jone’s Like entries that will not entertain outside criticisms or ridicule.
-Those with Artificial Intelligence or Jurassic Experience ( I miss BluePoet) or like mine Much Ado about nothing

Love them or hate them we read them!

9) Silent Bloggers. Always there without a word.

The ones you think never read your blog but know it inside out e.g. Maitha and Torments…tihihihi and the happen to be the nicest guys who are the easiest to bully…mtado???

10) Bloggers Addiction. The undeniable secret pleasure derived from this activity.

Funny thing none of us are in denial…we love it love it. And these are the following signs of Addicts

Blog Block: A moment where one is uninspired by surroundings to blog or post. The truth is it should never matter what you post.
Blog Rivalry: Competition with like bloggers.
Blog Collabo: Ways of having two posts out there at the same time, also a form of rivalry.
Blog Hiatus: Going to rehab to come back reloaded.
Blog Families/Couples: People not in denial embracing their addiction….
Blog and another Blog: Need I say more?


Blogger bankelele said...

Very deep review of the state of KBW. You should read the speech before handing out Kaybee awards at next meet/dinner

4/01/2006 11:29 AM  
Blogger akiey said...

Great to see new blood in KBW, keeps everyone in tune with different experiences out there.

"Blog and another Blog" I am both a victim & guilty of this just like you Nick,lol!

"A smiley or an LOL.. unacceptable !!!" I couldn't agree more & someone is yet to try that on mine, I will banish them like Okonkwo!!

Blog-Ho’ing, Used to do that when I was faster & younger but things changed on when I turned 14:)

Hey, Nick, how about blogging on fellow bloggers' blogs? Like I just did here, eeeh?

LOL!! @ the Know your blogger, yeah many mistakes have been made here!!!

4/01/2006 12:09 PM  
Anonymous the eye said...

testing 1,testing 2

4/01/2006 12:50 PM  
Anonymous mshairi said...

What about my 'blog romance' with Blue - or is that a no-go area;)

Thanks for the memories, dear nephew. I remember when you had afroM on your dude column. Lol:) Do you remember the April Fool's joke MJY played on all of us exactly a year ago and which Sonny (whatever happened to him) tried to sabotage?

4/01/2006 1:46 PM  
Blogger Nakeel said...

Waoh this is a lovely post bro as ususal back with a bang and you know what I agree with Banoise.

And who thinks am asian? hebu toboa...

4/01/2006 4:22 PM  
Anonymous G the Veteran blogger said...

I have to say this is your coolest blog to date. Not only am I as guilty as sin, but it took me waay back. A year is something very short in KBW and I remember MJY (do you know it is I who started calling her that?) April fools post. LOL I only had a convo about that last night :).

You also forgot to write about the way we (I actually) started commenting where instead of choosing your blogger ID, you choose Other and then put whatever it is you want as username and your webpage... so you got something like Yaaay I am first as your name. I started that... (doing a jiggy)

Gaddamn, we have come far - what happened to blogwars. What happened to Blue? LOL you started that too - calling him blue poet and Mshairi was gonna marry him :)

Smilies are allowed, all the way and LOL and all its various forms (see Milo) will be allowed. Shoot me, actually shoot me twice, I dont die that easily

And I started calling Milo Milo (pronounce mylo) way back when. I am bad, I'm bad, you know it that I am bad)

I still remember the first comment you did on my blog lil Nicky - I felt so cool - in - lol little did I know you were such a punk - but you know I got mad love for you.

And yes, Akiey, I am blogging on Babyface's blog, and I will not stop, not yet anyway.

This is soo coool - I will be here till Tuesday. I think that there are so many bloggers now that we kinda had to diversify - blog hiatii (Milo '06) notwithstanding. To me we are a family that keeps growing. Its like there are regulars that arent bloggers, we made friends, had meets, developed relationships (or is that just me) and I have more friends in KBW than I have in real life. Sad? Naah - KBW is made up of the most talented and sweetest beings, (me, for example) LOL dont kick me out Nicko or the promised present gets it :) and we are growing.

Can I ask everyone who comments here to go out to Mentals blog and leave a kiss... I am watching you - if you dont do it (I am the London Don, I can send MI5/6 out there to kick your ass.

Lets go peeps...

4/01/2006 4:38 PM  
Anonymous AfroM said...

I remember the ashy man hands episode..I tried to deftly say uhmm uhmm that aint me!
You Nick have this way of bringing people together. Your blog always makes people laugh and smile. I love it!

4/01/2006 6:41 PM  
Blogger kelitu said...

I have always wondered about that "i am 1st yeeaah!" thing going round. I thot it was a blog slang, kumbe ni 'mbio za sakafuni,huishia kwa blog ya wenyewe kwanza' syndrome.
Thanx for clearing that up for me.

4/01/2006 11:05 PM  
Blogger KenyanMusings said...

Boooo Hooo dry the tears. LOOOL. Y'all are just sad and whinny and erm reminiscent and oh! uppity cos fresh blood rules. LMAO. Tihihi, this is so like Kibaki and his cronies trying to cling onto power etc....Pave way for the news kids on the block.

Tafadhalini retire to your old homes....we got things under control.

P.s, every one gets an old people's diaper. LOLOLOL, I am so funny!!

Anyhuuuuu, thanks you guys for beating the track, and for welcoming us here. Thank you very much. God bless.

Especially Nicky and Ms K, Y'all were my first comments, and Nicky, the way you took care of me and guided me into getting into KBW. Thanks Nicky. Me and you, together baby, hata angalau if you have wives and concubines, and everything......Kenyatta market it is, as I get braided and you have you Fanta. ((((((((((((((((((Nicky))))))))))))). I really should stop calling you Nicky I know.

**KM gone to just be**

Good week all.

4/02/2006 12:41 PM  
Anonymous m said...

He he!

Nice one kijana. Are you finally admitting you are over the hill mzeeya? Come sit at the back with us geezers we drink busaa from a common pot. And don't backfire!!!

Me? Blogwars?!! Ebu name one i participated in!!!


That MamaJ April fool i concende busted be completely. That one -- ten nil!

4/02/2006 2:03 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...

*Milo slinks in a sad 10th...*

LOL at the descriptions...

The blog war between you and Blue was the bomb-osama-laden bin most-sweetest!!!

How cud you forget Blue trying to woo Mshairi and then failing miserably? LOLOLOL

I was one of the AfroM mistakers LOL the shame, the shame...

Plus I thought Nakeel was chutie proper LOLOLOL

Aaaaaah, these were some great memories...

Plus you remember Kymmbr's infamous rant back in the day? Wah wah wah twas moto!!

LOL at do unto others LOL

You shud also have included blogdemeanors - guys that come and chat away at your comments section bila regard for what you posted or you LOLOLOL

4/02/2006 3:25 PM  
Anonymous Irena said...

Woii I didn't even make this list either.What's up Nick, no Irena mention anywhere ,there I was thinking I was part of the family. Now I have been sidelined by you too *sob,sob* but I still have a secret mad love for you ask Akiey..( I confessed to him )

4/03/2006 6:34 AM  
Blogger kipepeo said...

i really miss those days...hairspray being mistaken for deo!!!! papa smurf! tsk tsk...hmmm..

4/03/2006 10:56 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

Sweetie I am out for your blood for forgetting me. I swear for the last time you have been talakwad. Talaka talaka talaka.

Anyway I miss sunflower so much; the Jamaican stories; ooh my my.

The reason me loves KBW is support. Men

I go to my archives for May 2005 to Now

Usual suspects
Kymmbr then
Blue poet (then)
MJY then

Great recap,

Beware Nick is a serial blog killer. He killed MJY and Blue after the blog wars. I guess he turned Sandman too.

Nickie me no longer your friend.

You shud also have included blogdemeanors - guys that come and chat away at your comments section bila regard for what you posted or you LOLOLOL. Milo how could he have forgotten that?

4/03/2006 1:04 PM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

No wonder M and Nickie have resulted to blog celebrity. Wooiyee mmezeeka (Life Achievement) and you retire.

KM, i feel you sweetie, we are all here playing kibaki and cronies; wooiyee. They are called kicks of a dying horse; it has been one rough year of trying to keep up with the young fresh blood.

Enter Haidhuru and out Nick

Enter KM and my God out so many i will not disclose.

They are called survival tactics.

And Nick i am not going to forgive you..How you forget all the Wanjirus (Irena and Me), Farmgal,

4/03/2006 1:12 PM  
Blogger Prousette said...

Time has really flown past. Anyone knows what happened to Blue? He had some pretty hot stories ama you shot him nick because the ladies were taken with him?

Long live all the bloggers so we can happily reminisce about the past.

4/03/2006 1:55 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@bankelele:haiya handing out awards i wanna receive hakuna cha celebrity presenter..ha hah aa
@akiey:oh yeah the many the blogs the better...and we all were such ho's back then weren't we
@the eye:we are waiting for u
@Aunty:wah the way u made me never ever dare mention Blue and You and potential nuptials....i still have a feelin she won in the kbw blog war..or im i wrong haha ha ha
@naks:read on down sweetie
@G the veteran:oh yeah u stareted titling ur commens we sure do go way back don't we.mad major love for u babes
@afrom:heh heh heh busted at a time of unmoisturising. ha ha ha
@kelitu:yup survival of the fittest...hurry hurry blogger come o me rush rush...
@KM:has beens i tell you has beens! oh yeah me and KM at KM can't wait...u r most welcome i was glad to help
@M:wah blog wars are fun but boy oh boy did u tear down Ngethu star sometime back...NGAI FAFA u terminator/governor u
@Milo:bruh remember we started the looney bin wit guess and the family with naks and akiey??? oh bad-boy kymmbr he been too quiet. LOL blog misdemeanours or hey come and chat away on a topic unrelated to your post bila shame bila haya.
@Irena: still got love for u trust me the next post is titled KBW's Next Top Model..y'all shal be mentioned trust me!
@kips:don't worry the sleeze crew is returnin sooner tjan u think with KBW'S NEXT TOP MODEL!
-LOL i am not old damn it
-LOL squared at enter KM out so many
-trust me all the mama's are in the next post and you happen to be model number 2 in a particiapting preliminary round...Lequita happens to be likin you on this one
@prousette:BLue is really aroung waiting for a comeback you guy check out

4/03/2006 3:20 PM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

Nickie sweetie, i am not taking that for an excuse.

4/03/2006 3:57 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@shiroh: sweetie, concubine soon to be mistress... just u wait...the next post will leave you breatheless...totally!

4/03/2006 4:59 PM  
Anonymous Girlie post destroyer said...

@ Nick
Kijana I have to charaza you!You must put up a timetable of when you are going to post!This mambo of haphazard posting has to end.As for blog romances I am sure there are new ones in the fire as we speak!(wink,wink,nudge,nudge!)

4/03/2006 11:30 PM  
Blogger Stunuh Jay said...

Took you long enough!
Blog Romance.... mhmm. I got your number baby and I know where the nearest Gay Club is always looking for new members.... I'll give you the hook up ;)

4/03/2006 11:45 PM  
Blogger Stunuh Jay said...

Oh Yes!
Did I forget to mention that a certain web slinging creepy crawly has been ringing round the houses for nomination votes....but do I say!

4/03/2006 11:49 PM  
Anonymous Mentalacrobatics said...

way back when, way way way back when!

before blogger introduced comment moderation

when 95% of KBW had names beginning with M lol

nice one blood, nice one!

4/04/2006 2:25 AM  
Blogger Adrian said...

ebu tufundishe!
start with "zamani tukiwa wadogo..." (in this case, zamani tukiwa wachache")

4/04/2006 2:26 AM  
Anonymous mutumia said...

Mr. superCool/Plastic...

On acronyms, let me be annoying and reminisce... on CCC-chaste church chicks (who coined this? Been crediting Guess all along). Or when a certain TV watching dentist who had the nerve to type out a whole grammy FFF acceptance speech while the rest of us acted like "long john silver" (Guess, 05). Yes, Msanii was quickest on that keyboard wah!

But ah, yes.... blogging (for OBs -old bloggas and new school :). So addictive, so good. When you stumble onto a newblog and you're like "ahhhhh. Tamu sana"... As you said comments that really make your blogging worthwhile (kama you and Milo are wrong- just for the record). Plus you forgo category G-- when you start a paragraph and KBW is supposed to finish the story (like you had a while back)... Ngai Jesus the perversions, the funneeness!!

OK...this is now blogging on another blog.

4/04/2006 7:25 AM  
Blogger mutumia said...

LOL! :) :) LOL

4/04/2006 7:26 AM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

I am willing to continue Adrian's story;
Once a upon a time, Mental Acrobatics while sitting wearing his pyjamas stumbled upon an idea; there were a few Kenyan Bloggers and ooh yeah the Uk is so boring. So he thought it would be great to have breakfast on the net seeing fellow Kenyans geeking their way out. So he came up with this idea of Kenyan Webring.

4/04/2006 8:55 AM  
Blogger nick said...

@girlie destroyer darth vader:ha ha ha pole enyewe i do unleash haphazardness up in here
@Stunnuh:we are very amused-NOT!!!! just u wait for the next post...boy oh boy even i can't wait!
@Mental:LOL so it wasnt just me thinkin everything was crazy...Y'all were just M's up in here.
@adrian:paukwa pakawa sahani ya mchele. back in the day a long long time ago there lived a hobbit called mental. ha ha ha
@mutumia:wasn that ACO's CCC. ati tamu sana i feel u on that.LOL squared...damn this sounds like we're doin a ka-reunion
@Shiroh:are u insinuating that KBW is the KenyaBreakfastWebring???? ha ha haha

4/04/2006 4:28 PM  
Blogger Whispering Inn said...

Nice round-up of KBW inside stuff jamaa. I would have left just a 'smiley' or an 'LOL' lakini since they are apparently unacceptable, I am typing all this bull and wasting my time. Tsk tsk tsk!

4/04/2006 11:19 PM  
Blogger Poi said...

I'm coming in sooo late but it's all good at least I'm here. This was almost nauseating the memories dude, too good yani. Nice. Very interesting read!

My bad for not been here in such a long time, now you are even 27, whoa! Happy Belated Bday Nicky! May you have many many more coz u r a jolly good fella!

God luck and God's blessings in all you do now & always!


I take it to say hi to Kymmbr from you hehehhe

4/05/2006 2:17 AM  
Blogger Milonare said...


Mpaka Poi's hand-off has fikad hapa


Who was it that unleashed people's initial posts zile za zero comments? LOOOOL

4/05/2006 12:12 PM  
Blogger Shiroh said...

Milo, it was me; peeps were not so amused.

I called it Digging the archives

4/05/2006 12:44 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@W.I:tsk tsk lol manze u cant play me like that
@poi:hey we go way back...way back..and your hand off is a chatroom classic. ha ha
@milo:we all went thru them zero comments kwanza successive
@concubino:you are also a shinin start u venus u

4/05/2006 4:26 PM  
Blogger Wangu said...

Nick, please allow me to do this ... LOLOLOLOLOL ... that's not LOL, is it?

4/05/2006 5:24 PM  
Blogger Wangu said...

Seriously, though, I like the post. Kudos.

4/05/2006 5:26 PM  
Anonymous Magaidi said...

I remember when you could do a round on all KBW blogs and know who'd been slacking on Posting. When you'd comment on every! every! post. W'ever happend to blog wars and blog romances? Hmm I wonder. Good memories though..I

4/05/2006 6:58 PM  
Blogger wanduma said...

One for the silent and late ones....ahh nice post. Si you start a blog war? Pick on some random blogger and savage them just for fun. Just not me please.

4/06/2006 1:31 AM  
Anonymous Ms K said...

Yani did you just call me a nymphomaniac? Eh? Eh?

I don't remember MJY's prank. Wacha I go tafuta it.

And you forgot the KBW meet-ups! Ours was first rememebr. Altho I'm still sulking cos you didn't buy me sugar cane!!

I'm with Darth Vader, you have to chora a timetable. I can't get here three years later!

Woiye pick a blog fight with a newbie!!

4/06/2006 12:43 PM  
Blogger Makena said...

and your blog is in the what category? Referee?

4/06/2006 1:09 PM  
Blogger Mimmz said...

Or you could step down demoratically. let the new blood reign.
PS:Silent blogging is the perfect seduction!

4/06/2006 9:23 PM  
Anonymous Farmgal said...

hey you're blogging again...umetoka retirement!
Oh how I miss those blog wars...kwanza the one with blue ..where are ya?
all the new kids on the blog rock!

4/06/2006 9:40 PM  
Blogger Brother Jero (BJ) said...

Great analysis. I must be one of those or a combination of them. I have been contraversial at times and edgy, but the one thing that is constant is how tough it is to keep up with this activity. I burn out easy and have to take breathers every 2-3 weeks.

Nice weekend Nick.

4/07/2006 4:02 PM  
Blogger s! said...

heh, pretty much well-observed.. i still await some of your flashback posts, ng'ombe wewe!

4/07/2006 7:14 PM  
Blogger Girl next door said...

I'm one of the new kids on the blog circuit. Got inspired by those who started doing it before it became popular. I enjoy readling people's posts on KBW and glad to be a part of it. I've got Blogger's Addiction for sure!

4/08/2006 8:36 AM  
Blogger Acolyte said...

@ nick
I think your blog war question was answered you know where!

4/10/2006 5:34 AM  
Blogger mama shady said...

aye!im also a newbie!but this post explained alot!although im still wondering what RFTLMBAO means?? among other things!
nice post men!

4/10/2006 1:02 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...

Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Bloody Ass Off (ROTFLMBAO)

Payments allowed in blog euros to Milo's account at Mathare! Otherwise payments in kind also acceptable!

4/10/2006 2:56 PM  
Blogger Poi said...

@Gichboy, so true, Nicky!

@Milo, wewe u donn know my ka hand-off is on till I drop LOL

Those funds are coming

4/10/2006 11:03 PM  
Blogger LifeMoments said...

I will not comment for now..I know where to get you...

4/12/2006 8:17 PM  
Blogger kittens said...

i absolutely love your segment on blog commandments and th ow my gawd blogs. power to the females au sio.

4/15/2006 7:04 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home