Tuesday, July 18, 2006

While I was away

Yes, I have been away for far too long. Being behind the scenes was interesting. There have been some anonymous commenters out there. Mara they are announcing Guess is in Kenya…others are saying I’m stale and a has-been…others accused KM of being a lady of ill-repute. (I love such terms when one is trying to downplay insults) Others accused Milo that his jokes are running stale as well…well that turned out to be KM after all.

Where possible ADMIN was blamed for everything…and it’s funny how everyone in admin has been so busy with their own personal matters…I actually laughed when Admin was accused somewhere...cammon you guys better find better scapegoats out there. In fact Admin had signed in and commented:LOL!!

While I was away I managed to get me a blog-fan and stalker…actually both. Kaggz and Amkeni Wakenya. Show the some love!

And yesterday I managed to get myself nothing but a COLD/FLU! Shaite! Yaani I’m always the sickling! I think a cold is the only thing that can kill THE DEVIL! May he catch one. Right now I think I could use a nail-gun to shoot knitting needles into my ears for relief from the severe irritation. I’m suffering. Haki I am one unhappy spidey! It's like I have perfected the art of getting sick! Prolly the makings of my next post!

Throat: …if only it was just sore…it’s like it has a new life of its own. It has a pulse of it’s own. It has secretions that on examination don’t look cute. Swallowing is done via molly-coddling and prayers; so stuff goes down with the most ease possible. It feels like a chimney in which Santa had miscalculated and thought he was gonna fit in…and has asked Rudolph to stump on him to help him go down! So there is a bulky Santa squeezing down with Rudolphs antler scratching the sides of the chimney leaving trails on his way down!

Nose: I’m having that kind of runny nose that is annoying…you know it…that has you sniffling back because drops just fall…and there is no time to reach for a handkerchief! Out of nowhere drip drop! So, nearby people look at you in disgust-you present a visual and audio form of disgust! You keep sniffling as soon as you put your handkerchief BACK in the pocket! It’s like you have no idea what it is for!

Wet moments: ever had a situation where your hanky was full to the brim? As in cannot absorb more…cannot wipe more!

REMINDS me of a school play where 2 lead actors both had colds. Ha, I was one of them. Besides the pampering we received behind the stage…on stage we made dripping fools of ourselves and our Hollywood status. I, remember wiping myself with my hand and some wrist since my hanky was wet to the brim. And ended up smearing it more so had to now like kinda use the back of my hand to wipe what wasn’t wiped before…torture on stage! And the other guy used his tiny hanky (the kind you carry in Nursery) and literally picked the dangling drop and returned it into his nose and tilted his head back for the drop to slide back down. YAANI no room at the INN!

Palate: …I know something must be crawling up there (it could be a tapeworm for all I know remember I can’t smell what I’m eating anyway!)…a gun shot may provide relief but I’m afraid the gun-smoke would flare up my allergies. It’s that bad.

Voice: Who cares what I sound like…at the moment better than a husky Ms K…but if you listen carefully Spidey may be whimpering in pain!

Mood Swings: Now I know why chicks pull them. It’s such a plot to just snap back…as in the victim totally doesn’t see it coming. Ask today’s patients…ask today’s “oops I’m not quite numb but I think its ok…good Gawd help me please” patients

But all in all I am subdued!!!

I always say to handle a cold-u must submit yourself as it’s BITCH! Then and only then will it be Gentle. Screw Garlic/ginger mix! Screw Chicken Soup! Screw Fluids and Relaxing…Screw antihistamines and antibiotics to fight the proceeding bacterial superinfection…Screw keeping warm…submit! SUBMIT and you will be spared!!!!

So that is my rant for the day…Anon you can call it substandard…you can call it crap…but the fact that you are reading makes me happy. The fact that you are complaining means you have gotten better and hence your high expectaions from this blog-so your insults are a compliment by themselves.

LOOK out for the latest SLEEZE CREW POST!


Anonymous Kagz said...

1st here :)


7/18/2006 9:51 PM  
Anonymous Kagz said...

2nd here!!1

ha ha ha

Kwani internet connection in Kenya has died!!!

7/18/2006 9:52 PM  
Anonymous Kagz said...

3rd here !!!

this time i PROMISE i've read the post.

ati i'm ur blog fan/stalker???

gggrrrhhh !!!

I will be back...anonymously...hahaha!

7/18/2006 10:00 PM  
Anonymous farmgal said...

Get well soon....
did that guy really stick mucus back into his nose? ai I think you kid us!

7/18/2006 11:18 PM  
Blogger Dp said...

5th here:)
not bad for some stalker.
got remedy for colds/flu simple get laid!

7/19/2006 12:40 PM  
Blogger UARIDI said...

I like the new blog.

E-mail me when you do the sleeze so that I will know when to avoid your blog (hahahahaha)

7/19/2006 1:27 PM  
Blogger Blue Poet said...

Firstly- new look.

Please congratulate that talented individual who I (like countless others)am sure is not you.

Secondly- being behind the scenes.

Yes, the has been and stale suit you very well. It was refreshing NOT seeing you commenting first on every new post. I wondered many a time how safe you patients were after marathon all night blogging.

Lastly- the flu.

I am being a miseable SOB because I have been down with it for 7days now. What happened to the 3-4 day cold that I was used to? I even went for a complete check up to make sure that I wasnt suffering from something else.

Absolutely Final-

I have missed reading some of your posts spidey.



7/19/2006 2:58 PM  
Anonymous concubine says said...

Hey Nick,
You actually did miss quite a number of things. Werocamu back though.

AS for the cold try Lemon,Brandy and Honey in hot water. Works like fire and kerosene.

As for the anons and the blamers please please,leave them alone. They gotta get a life you know

7/19/2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger Acolyte said...

Good to have you back before you return to your hiatus.
As for what anon and admin did or did not do it made for interesting drama.But before I am accused of talking mbaya let me keep quiet.
Get well soon!

7/19/2006 4:22 PM  
Anonymous kelitu said...

Haya kumbe you changed your blogspot title.
Here i am typing your baptism name on the adress bar and i get directed to a blog about Wedding Jitters?
I gasped...

7/20/2006 1:50 AM  
Blogger Whispering Inn said...

Submit! Ha ha ha ha!

Si wewe ndiwe ulikuwa unachekelea watu wengine hivi majuzi?

Anyway, pole kwa maumivu!

7/20/2006 6:39 AM  
Blogger bankelele said...

Agree with your concubine - add a sip of brandy to your medicene. Oh, and you shouldn't cruise on K St in July

7/20/2006 5:50 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...

Aaaatttcccchhhhoooo mwana wa mutiso u've made me sneeze...

You shud upgrade Sleaze Crew to Sneeze Crew and be done with it...

LOL at Blue's comment LOL

Asi... Si you tell Kagz that Milo is available, ready, willing and able! LOL

As for KMAnon... Lets not even go there...

Nose blocks get exaggerated in dreams. I once dreamt I was being tortured in Nyati house with logs being forced into nostrils my guy!!!!

7/20/2006 7:29 PM  
Blogger Movie Buff said...

me I am just checking in to see if you have ponad??????? And everyone knows the cure for the cold is some TLC... come here you!!!!!!

7/20/2006 8:31 PM  
Anonymous Kagz said...

Milo : Ata kama you are available, ready, willing and able...Me I STILL Like Nick Regardless :)

7/21/2006 1:22 PM  
Anonymous Daud said...

Booooo!!Booooooo! Hey! fat boy with the cold(stop looking around, thats you Nick)! go back to your hibernation!!We don't want the likes of you in Blog Land.Booooo!!!!!

Daud El Rude(Not blogging.Just Hating.BTW, is it just me or does Milo look like Thierry Henri???)

7/22/2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger Kibet said...

Nick, great to have you back. For what its worth, i heard on Hope FM leo that when dying from homa, keep off the antibiotics!

Daud... i had to check my watch for 22nd July. You still going on bout Milo & Thiery ha ha ha!

7/22/2006 6:02 PM  
Anonymous riley freeman said...


7/24/2006 7:28 AM  
Blogger pesa tu said...

Use tissues not hankies and if it persists, see the daktari

7/25/2006 3:53 PM  
Blogger sandman said...

20th here:) - oh wait that's not how it works!
pole about the flu - I recognize the pax and will withhold further attacks until you get better.

7/31/2006 4:13 AM  
Blogger Chatterly said...

Seems like everyone is going down with a ka-homa :-( get well sooooon!

7/31/2006 4:27 PM  
Blogger Acolyte said...

We demand a post!We will stalk you till you post!We want Nick to post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7/31/2006 5:03 PM  
Blogger Stunuh Jay said...

You feel so miserable that If you were a dog and I was a vet I would do the humane things and shoot you!!!!
HIYAH! Sophie says hi, meeting up for gossip session this weekend, so if you bash your small toe, bite your tongue... etc! Yep we're having a whale of a time on your account :D Cheap humour is best served when the butt end of the joke is dying...albeit of a cold but haidhuru :D

8/01/2006 5:19 PM  

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