Wednesday, August 02, 2006

SLEEZE CREW: Rumor Meals Roundup

(and yes i know how to spell rumor mills and sleaze)

(Deep VOICE) Welcome to The Sleeze Crew. Live on Air for a fifth successive successful feed. Bringing you trash like you like it served…directly to your ears! You will hear it here, first and fast and furious…may the sleaze contaminate you and set you free!

Lequitta: Hey y’all it’s me again, the ghettoesque bad-ass mama...been knocked up, knocked down and around but my nappy self still stronger than ever. Like Roberta Flack I will survive oh as long as I know how to run, duck, tuck and roll I know I’ll stay alive! A sista’s been pimped slapped…name called…popped MORE morning-after pills than Aco’s posts, or Thinker’s thoughts, or Admin interference accusations.

Tyrone: Sup peeps! This is your home-boy keeping it real. Hardcore gangster…smooth and suave…breaking hearts left, right and centre…letting them keep coming back for more! More! They want nothing but! Coz they know with Tyrone …it’s on!

Lequitta: That’s right! And you know it’s true!

Tyrone: And you know we know you know!

Lequitta: Coming up next in this roundup the downright skinny on where the KBW’s are at! The 411 brought to you one on one. It’s been too quiet especially with the old timers being on pension as we speak…damn BLOG menopause seems to have hit them all…denture wearing…memory lapsing…eye-sight failing…osteoporosis setting in and bones crumbling getting lamer and lamer like Nick’s blog-mojo!

Tyrone: That’s right…we gonna tell you the truth behind the sudden deletion of MS K’s blog and Dshy’s blog…and finally reveal if they were one and the same?

Lequitta: Why MILO threw in the towel and wants nothing more of his unmentionabos after a botched reverse vasectomy! The truth behind his new business venture with KM . His sudden return to South Africa.

Tyrone: The escapades of the BLUE POET…which blogger he got entangled with and the catastrophic results that could be the reason SHIROH lost her job...if in fact she lost it! Why he failed to attend the last meetup?

Tyrone: In addition the financial revelations of a female blogger that has pulled a Left Eye of T.L.C! Nope she hasn’t burnt her beausroom...for creeping with that other mzalendo KP...but has gone bankrupt-asaurus!! After bad advice from Bankelele and Riba Capital

Lequita: Oh, yes none other than GUESS...she has had to sell her 2 KAYBEES like Toni B's Grammy's to sustain her frequent flier miles and hIPODetical expenses ( MILO u would be so proud of me) has been hawking “Blogging 101” on the streets! Y'all know I'm just hating right?

Tyrone: Also… we shall reveal to you how some bloggers are blogging with duel identities? Not like the TATO…but incognito. If I were you I’d closely monitor the styles of DOBVIOUS, AMKENI WAKENYA, KAGGZ, KELITU….think about it they sound pretty familiar…look carefully don’t let the new templates fool you...these are old bloggers in new skin! Don’t also let the sex fool you!

Lequita: And we shall expose to you who has been running around Anonymously, almost doing a better job than I am in trashing posts…I mean tearing bloggers down…criticizing…ridiculing…and they are not anonymous cause their I.P address be all up in my databank screaming ( ( everywhere...come here mama lequita gives you a hug cause you been an avid reader you!

Tyrone: Personally, to hell with Anon, I want the truth behind that Smack it, Flip it, Rub it…Buff and Polish it post of KM! Not to mention can we discuss what people were saying behind the scenes and on the comment section…y’all back-stabbers you!

Lequita: Oh and don’t you forget the three sisters and a niece…and you know the don’t approve of us! But they have been missed!

Tyrone: Yes the truth shall be revealed about all those missing in action.

Lequita: Yes missing in action or expecting after action…Yes the much talked about BILAS TRAIN-an old passenger has returned aboard…and aboard that passenger is another passenger currently embedded in amnion. You may harbour a guess( no that is not a hint)…someone in the MS KMutsaurus squad is due soon…and they have stopped screaming “THEKETE MA!” Or is it “Mutiuke Pris!” Suddenly…life has new meaning to me…

Tyrone: What happened to the defunct LOONEY BIN? AKIEY? MSANII? FARMGAL?

Lequitta: All that comin up next stay tuned! Like Aerosmith you don’t want to miss a thing…ok perhaps some lip reduction won't hurt either!

Tyrone: Plus let's welcome some newbies up in here as well,cause blessed are the newbies they wil make great posts in the future. Makanga...YKM


Blogger Movie Buff said...

LMAO.... my dear..... ROTFLMAO... but I cant wait... will u toboa..... ama this is just a taste....?????

8/02/2006 12:13 AM  
Anonymous Back on the Bilas Train Crew said...


I am seko........tihihihihihihi!!!

Aki you are a nutter!!! Can't wait!

8/02/2006 12:17 AM  
Anonymous Kagz said...

ha ha ha

You are a Hindiot!!!

8/02/2006 12:50 AM  
Anonymous makanga said...

Allow me to say this Rumor Meal was most sumptous. The sembe was firm and well cooked, the ndengu spiced well and the finest donkey- I mean beef you can find. Shall we wash this down with some cham?

8/02/2006 6:24 AM  
Blogger bankelele said...

bring it on. my lawyers are ready!

8/02/2006 8:40 AM  
Blogger Half 'n' half said...

toboa soon ama we loose interest.

8/02/2006 10:53 AM  
Blogger Dp said...

dangling the carrot at us.We are still waiting. Zzzzzzzzzz.........

8/02/2006 11:50 AM  
Anonymous Shiroh said...

we ngoma ino!!!

YOu are making jokes on me being jobless!!!

Ngoja till i pull your maskios.

Funny though. Guess the hiatus was so worth it

8/02/2006 2:07 PM  
Blogger mwasjd said...

The rhymes are tight, man. Thanks for the welcome. Can't wait for the downlow on the blogging community.

Uendelee ama usiendelee...

8/02/2006 4:28 PM  
Anonymous KELITU said...

Child please, don't make me laugh!!!
Duel Identities?!...LOL!

8/02/2006 6:34 PM  
Anonymous acolyte said...

It's always good to know what's goin on in the community.
I always thought there was something fishy about Dshy's slow disappearance.As for our boy Milo he went AWOL, came back and then retired.There is something we are not being told!
Guess has gone AWOL with her card!
As for the bilas train, I think it has a revolving door.Peeps running in and out!

8/02/2006 8:02 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@Movie buff...oh yes i shall kwanza ebu let them come out and defend themselves..waseme ni marongo(ha remember that term)

@Mocha:are u the one back wit a passenger?

@Kaggz:yes i am dear stalker yes i am

@Makanga: Delicious to the last drop! or Lick!

@Bankelele: are u tellin that to me or Guessy

@halfkenyan/sudan:patience my pal patience

@deeply perturbed: na bado

@shiroh: si u know ni wendo

@mwasjd: ha ati tight rhymes Tyrone is pleased check out his earlier works

@kelitu: sijasahau i owe u a certain war...ngoja tu

@Aco:im tellin u the truth is out there and soon will be in here

8/02/2006 9:13 PM  
Blogger akiey5 said...

Time to stay tuned & get fine tuned to the happynings in Blogville.

I see you still got it in you Nick,hehe and this Lequitta chick is on moving on up...would she accept a field reporting gig with my makanga of a media agency? Could pay her in photos,lol!

Many folks going AWOL while others are just out & about enjoying the hott summer...or am I imagining?

Will be back, until then lemme focus on building my other e-homes...they butter my bread U know.

8/02/2006 9:42 PM  
Blogger dangerously_shy said...

There are lots of ways for a superhero such as Spiderman to battle persistent gay rumors, should he choose to do so: making mountains out of meal hills (gerrit? Ur title, moles..ahh fuggetit) is not one of them. Now google tells me that one of your superpowers is the ability to render lyrca unsexy and whats with the naff costume, looks like an old person’s chair, all you have to look down at yourself and u feel like having a nap

*disclaimer 1 – Ms K made me say all this
* disclaimer 2 – I see dead people
*Plug – look out for my new book, blogging with multiple personalities

8/02/2006 10:14 PM  
Anonymous comingover to fix yourlittleredwaggon said...

You are in so much trouble young man!!!

8/03/2006 6:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said... = [ ]

Users location

OrgName: Earthlink Inc.
Address: 1375 Peachtree St.
City: Atlanta
StateProv: GA
PostalCode: 30309
Country: US

8/03/2006 3:17 PM  
Blogger nick said...

@akiey:nice to see u doin well and usipotee hivyo hata if u are not making money from this

@dshy:cammon u know in that costume aint no room for undies or i ur other personality made u say what?

@anon:now which anon am i dealin with

@2nd anon:thank you we are atleast in a location right could u unleah the bloggers name

8/03/2006 7:34 PM  
Blogger akiey said...

Not to worry Nick, sipotei even though busy as heck...busy, very busy. Already gone commercial with this stuff...that explains the need for a 'bigger butter knife'.
New contacts & the rest of the good stuff in your inbox in a couple days.

Let's holler @ Msanii & Farmgal for a joint venture on the looney bin.

8/04/2006 6:30 PM  
Blogger UARIDI said...

I visited you - I think you are having a hard time with the baridi

8/04/2006 9:11 PM  
Blogger Nakeel said...

Can your lil siz make you unleash the full dosier now that am last here...

8/08/2006 12:18 PM  

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