Thou shall regret lending money
Money and relatives don't mix like some certain meat-pies from a common franchise and the morning after!
With expereince there is that fact where you learn to lend as much as you can afford to lose. And if a friendship should be lost you should lend the equivalent that you are willing to lose that friend over. I have a few pals I would gladly take a loan to lose. Yup no longer in captivity of your negativity you self-centered S.O.B. But i digress.
So what happens when that moment arrives. Wine and Dine is over! Foreplay over! Right down to the penetresh! (stolen from classic comedy 30 Rock )
You know better!
There are promises of:
>By next week Thursday, you will have it back.
>I've got this great deal i'll even return it with interest.
>This time, I won't play you...two weeks and you'll have it back!
Pregnant Pause!
Elephant in the Room!
What do you say..and it's even worse when the person knows that you have the cash.
You can already see how it's going to end up! You know each scenario!
>Oh! your cash...just chill ...you don't even need it, just relax...i'll sort you out!
>I wish i had soe cash to sort you out, btu i don't! What do i do!
>I think its better for me if i return it to you next month!
Please remember you want your FUCKING money back!
Relatives are the worst to deal with. Pals are not that much better!
SO what do you do!
Sometimes..the said person is in genuine need...what do you do?
Do you say NO?!
Do you lend a quarter of what was asked or even a tenth...that way its win win situation...you don't lose much but you help a little!?
Do you lend knowing that's cash you have lost?!
and on the said day of the said cash being returned? How the hell do you hide your anger and disappointment. Or rather how do you hide the fact that you are not that much surprised?!
Is there a place of sarcasm and name calling.
>Now you see why i was hesitant to lend you cash?
>Which cash will you hopefully return the one of last week or the one of last month?
>Bitch! It's my money and if i wanted it next month we would have agreed on next month!
>I wonder why you are all arrogant now when it's my money and considering you were paractically in tears when borrowing!
SOLUTION!?
1. Do not lend! Lie through your yellowing teeth (which id you had extra cash to lend you'd rather spend on bleaching)
2. If you lend you lose...cash or a friend or both...is it worth it?
3. Hide your money...whatever peanuts you have accumulated somewhere. HIDE THEM...in a sacco...in a scheme...in assets...somewhere...anywhere. So that in that moment of weakness a.k.a idiocy you cannot access ready cash. Hence when you say you don't have cash you seriously mean it!
4. There are those serial borrowers who serially return. Identify them and if you no longer want to be inconvenienced create a story days before there usual habit.
''...yeah remember last week when i told you ...damn im so broke...''
5.Borrow before you get borrowed from.
6.sometime you need to lend...to appease your soul..and so that you can live to blog this tale!
SO shame on you that borrow and repaying is such a hustle! Damn you for making it my problem when it should be your problem. But remember when and if tomorrow comes...you will come back ...and you can only bite the hand that feeds you so many times.
With expereince there is that fact where you learn to lend as much as you can afford to lose. And if a friendship should be lost you should lend the equivalent that you are willing to lose that friend over. I have a few pals I would gladly take a loan to lose. Yup no longer in captivity of your negativity you self-centered S.O.B. But i digress.
So what happens when that moment arrives. Wine and Dine is over! Foreplay over! Right down to the penetresh! (stolen from classic comedy 30 Rock )
You know better!
There are promises of:
>By next week Thursday, you will have it back.
>I've got this great deal i'll even return it with interest.
>This time, I won't play you...two weeks and you'll have it back!
Pregnant Pause!
Elephant in the Room!
What do you say..and it's even worse when the person knows that you have the cash.
You can already see how it's going to end up! You know each scenario!
>Oh! your cash...just chill ...you don't even need it, just relax...i'll sort you out!
>I wish i had soe cash to sort you out, btu i don't! What do i do!
>I think its better for me if i return it to you next month!
Please remember you want your FUCKING money back!
Relatives are the worst to deal with. Pals are not that much better!
SO what do you do!
Sometimes..the said person is in genuine need...what do you do?
Do you say NO?!
Do you lend a quarter of what was asked or even a tenth...that way its win win situation...you don't lose much but you help a little!?
Do you lend knowing that's cash you have lost?!
and on the said day of the said cash being returned? How the hell do you hide your anger and disappointment. Or rather how do you hide the fact that you are not that much surprised?!
Is there a place of sarcasm and name calling.
>Now you see why i was hesitant to lend you cash?
>Which cash will you hopefully return the one of last week or the one of last month?
>Bitch! It's my money and if i wanted it next month we would have agreed on next month!
>I wonder why you are all arrogant now when it's my money and considering you were paractically in tears when borrowing!
SOLUTION!?
1. Do not lend! Lie through your yellowing teeth (which id you had extra cash to lend you'd rather spend on bleaching)
2. If you lend you lose...cash or a friend or both...is it worth it?
3. Hide your money...whatever peanuts you have accumulated somewhere. HIDE THEM...in a sacco...in a scheme...in assets...somewhere...anywhere. So that in that moment of weakness a.k.a idiocy you cannot access ready cash. Hence when you say you don't have cash you seriously mean it!
4. There are those serial borrowers who serially return. Identify them and if you no longer want to be inconvenienced create a story days before there usual habit.
''...yeah remember last week when i told you ...damn im so broke...''
5.Borrow before you get borrowed from.
6.sometime you need to lend...to appease your soul..and so that you can live to blog this tale!
SO shame on you that borrow and repaying is such a hustle! Damn you for making it my problem when it should be your problem. But remember when and if tomorrow comes...you will come back ...and you can only bite the hand that feeds you so many times.
posted by Spidey/Tato at
9/10/2009 10:20:00 PM
8 Comments:
Oh no you didn't! I told you that you will get your money....when you get it! There was no need to go all Oprah on me!
You did not need to put my business out there!!!..you know.... this why you do not have friends....Its on.
PS: I want my LL Cool J Tape back!!
Daud El Rude ( 100 bob and Spidey throws a hissy fit...some people)
LOL clearly you missed the undercut you received in the other post!
Aay si you loan me half a K mpaka next thursday when i get paid...
Good to have you back.
And great post.
What I have learnt (the hard way) about lending is that I do not have to - people will find another way out. These days I follow the following rules;
Do not reply immeadiately especially if it is e-mail of sms.By the next day the resolve not to lend will have strengthened.
I list all what I need to do with my money to the person and how even what I have is not enough.
I offer suggestions oh how they can get money elsewhere.
@MAkanga:i have 100 i can give ya?:)
@Anon:i'm telling ya thats an idea and a hald we should write a book!
You still are NOT getting your money back.
Welcome back your highness.
It shouldn't be that worst though.
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