Friday, June 24, 2005

TV Sluts of all time!!!!

Inspired by a recent post by Thinker and Kinyi.. i got into thinking about the most common stereotype on TV, which though overplayed and overdone, will always be endearing to all of us. Yes, am talking about the 'TV sluts!!!" I mean how could you not love them, damn!!!! Cheap, easy, desparate, mannerless, materialstic, shameless.... (breathe!) unstoppable, hintless, sexually obsessed, XY seeking, 24 hours on heat-kinda babes!!! Yaani, they could throw themselves of a high pier with no net, no underwear for that matter...or onto an oncoming bus just to catch their guy!!! That in my book is too deadly!!! Don't you just envy people with no pride, no scruples- kinda like Peppi le Peau(the love struck skunk)- and they carry on tirelessly, persistantly... u just have to hand it to them. It's never to low to stoop, or too hard to bend over backwards, practically amoral, guilt free-total slut!

I wanted to talk about 'TV bitches' You know the cunniving, devious, manipulative cut-throat type the likes of Alexis-Dynasty, Abby-Knots Landing etc. But realised that playing a villain is too cliche...TV sluts has always been the in-thing and for ever will be. Surprisingly, actresses who played these roles always got nominated and would win their respective awards. Go figure! Of course it takes talent to act such a role...but you have to admit those characters make the show!

So my challenge to you who has been your all time favorite "TV slut?!"

Well mine to name but a few....

1.Eddie-Desparate Housewives

The latest addition. Man-Hungry, desparate and ruthless. You go girl-you vixen you!!!!!

2.Karen-Will and Grace.

Self centred, arrogant and her attitude so rocks!!!!
Quoted saying"I'm fabulous... I'm an incredible dresser, I've got buckets of money, I'm a hoot and a half and I got a killer rack"
There's no stopping this hottie!

3.Elaine-Ally McBeal

Her smile exuded sluttiness! She was cheap, easy, and with no apologies for her prowling tactics!!! grrrr

4.Nina van Horn(ho)- Just shoot me

An old has-been that has been around and come back into circulation like an old coin!! More notches on her bedpost than her gray hairs!!!! Resilient like her skin-she'd get rejected and keep coming back for more!!!!

5.Blanche-Golden Girls

Prob one of my favorites of all time-the cheapest and the sluttiest-they don't make(write) them this good anymore. Ngai, her idea of a tax refund was the IRS man leaving a twenty dollar bill by her nightstand the morning after!!! We knew she was a slut, she knew she was a slut-we were all happy with that.


Remember her the go-getter?!!! She probably was one of the first black tv sluts that money could buy!!! ha ha

7.Miss Piggy-Muppets

Yes i added her today thought about her on my way home...this TOTAL BABE!! Your classic Diva! She had class!...but still, would throw herself shamelessly at kermit! Yaani she tried all the hint-techniques in the book...and as much as she loved Kermit-she would disown,disavow,diss him if anyone flyer appeared. e.g Superman(who couldn't lift her by the way) I love this PIG!!!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Dear Diary?

At tea-room at 6am. Off to Nyeri in a windy matatu. Caught more zzzz's enroute. Reached there 8:30am. It was nipple freezing freaking cold-goodbye peripheral sensation hello numbness-despite dressing like some russian during winter bila the vodosky! Climbed up to my apartment, dropped my bag, peed and walked the walk to work. Off to serve the public in pain and staff who wait for Monday's only for 'nice Nick'...thanks to them I worked 9am-2pm non stop.

Last week's sore throat had evolved into a major cold/flu. Runny nose galore-4hankies in an afternoon. You remember my last bout with the cold? Just like before i was reciting SWV's "I get so weak in the knees I can hardly breathe I lose all conrol.."

Afternoon: just happened to pass by. I was getting dehydrated with all that fluid loss.Ngai, someone pass me a drip!

Dinner: half roasted chicken + soda while standing since we're bila furniture in our new digs! Slept at 8pm(atleast kuna kitanda) attempting to sleep for 11 straight hours. That wasn't the case as I kept getting incessant sms's and missed calls. Surely people couldn't tell how sick I am!

By now i have no epithelium on top of my lip from blowing off my fact it was so severe it was just a case of wiping off my nose!

Finally got to sleep-to wake really later and euphorically find it was 11pm. Oh yes-boy didn't i go back to sleep fast! Love when u think its like dusk-only to realise you have hours to go.

Woke up 7am. Nasty mood-though relaxed all the same. Splitting head ache. My previously dripping nose feels like its been run over by a truck. My sinuses are blocked to the max(at least its better than a runny nose) Realised I couldnt't smell a thing. Now with the blocked nose am breathing heavily via my mouth..and now a dry throat ensues!

Heated some water with a bucket. Boy those bucket moments are precious. Which reminds me we still need to get that plumber! Ironed, toothbrush moment. Didn't even bother polishing shoes, usually wipe them with spirit swabs at work-or leave them dusty as ever. All lights switched off.

Called a taxi, went to pay bills. Trust me in nyeri with the mud/blizzard/dust you either drive or get driven. I always pay my bills early in the morning when you don't find queue's.

Work 9am-12pm.

Take another taxi to town. As I reach the stage, I flash a makanga on his phone and he comes to a place where we usually meet. Give him cash he goes buys me a ticket as I get into the next matatu in line and sit in my fav position. You must be wondering why? Well, I like seating in front with the driver but by the door. Now in nyeri they don't do, ati, you book a seat. Nope, you buy a ticket and sit where u land. So woe unto you with extremely long legs who doesn't have a makanga on his phone book! ha!

Head back to the land of Nbi-where its even colder and worse, raining!

Note, I didn't take breakfast, so I'm famished plus wracked with fatigue. 6:00 pm and i reach home.Buy take away junk-masala chips and samosas-which i devoured while watching Monday's episode of 'malcolm in the middle.' Very clear i still couldn't smell, so I was limited to salt/sweet/bitter/and sour taste. Definitely didn't enjoy that food.

Woke up early. My friend(also my house mate in nyeri) wanted some of his software disks back so I rushed to his clinic and dropped them 8-9am. Caught up with with stories-squared off each other's debts as concerns bills.

Called my salary clerk at Afya House to remind her to fix my non-practicing allowance which the mathe had messed up in my May salary(which i received last week) she reassured me it will be ok. In July!!!!!

Decided the afro had to go-remember its been a while since the last hair cut? Got the hair cut-in hindsight i now remember why i never cut my hair. So, not only am I balding/ugly/and scalp freezing as well... I've come to realise I have a small disproportionate head and large eyes.

Ha, the barber had jokes as well:
"hey can i shave ur beard?" (what beard?)
"hey has it been a year already?" (Your mama!)

My date for today's movie has cancelled-she has to travel to shags...hmmmh! Don't you just love those last minute cancellations! But maybe its a blessing in disguise.

All in all it is a cold day anyway, so i guess i will stay in doors. I'm bila movies to add insult to injury-but screw all that tomorrow is another day. I'll be working tomorrow.

Batman Begins opens on Fri.So we know where I'll be then.

Trying to get myself off another job I found myself into on saturdays. Wonder how that goes!

Until, then am patiently waiting for the sense of smell!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Nick's Rating: 7/10

This movie is HOT! HOT! HOT!...not so much for the storyline but the casting of Pitt and Jolie delivers! For a moment you can't even tell who is hotter him or her? As much as i loved the Pitt/Aniston coupling, it must be said, this on screen couple is SIZZLING! Their chemistry was all that was needed-heck it was the movie! Effortless performances-I don't think any acting was done, none was needed anyway not with that chemistry. The transition from a boring couple to a couple hell bent on killing each other is exciting and definitely worth the watch! A definite must see.

Has great killer one-liners, the movie is actually funny. The action was explosive-something that would almost rival Bruckheimer movies and John Woo's action sequences.The kitchen fighting scenes between the murderous couple are lethal. You could feel the sudden lack of love!!

The ending felt a little rushed and a tad unbelievable-but then again this is hollywood.

Obviously opened in the States at number one with a 50mil+ opening, and am sure worldwide by now its grossed over 100mil. I wouldn't be surprised if there is a sequel. Atleast the publicity didn't affect them, unlike Russel Crowe and Meg Ryan during "Proof of life."

Angelina Jolie: This should definitely awaken her box office status.
Brad Pitt: Undoubtedly, it is evident why he is my next fav actor after Al Pacino. You can never go wrong with any of his movies. He is one of those worthy actors in hollywood who have gone without an oscar.

Killer Lines:

to name but a few

1.Shrink: How often do you have sex?
Mr Smith: I don't understand the question.

2.Mrs Smith: There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with all the things we don't say to each other. What's that called?
Shrink: Marriage.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

MJ:Free at last,free at last

...thank GOD almighty, he's free at last.

I received the news from an SMS from MJY at 4am yesterday...i was practically jumping off my feet like i had a personal stake in the case.Yup the KING OF POP was exonerated from all infinite counts of yada yada yada...intent to intoxicate...bluh bluh bluh...touched my peepee...yackedy smackedy hoo-ha

On behalf of all MJ fans, and all closetted MJ fans. (According to me there's no one who doesn't like his music!!!!!) So crank up some of his music(any of his music-preferably the Dangerous album) and heeeeeee heeeeee along with me!

NB: I'm too biased to give a breakdown of the proceedings

Dancing The Dream

Consciousness expresses itself through creation. This world we live in is the dance of the creator. Dancers come and go in the twinkling of an eye but the dance lives on. On many occasion when I’m dancing, I’ve felt touched by something sacred. In those moments, I’ve felt my spirit soar and become one with everything that exists. I become the stars and the moon. I become the lover and the beloved. I become the victor and the vanquished. I become the master and the slave. I become the singer and the song. I become the knower and the known. I keep on dancing and then, it is the eternal dance of creation. The creator and the creation merge into one wholeness of joy.
I keep on dancing and dancing . . . . . and dancing, until there is only . . . . . the dance.
Michael Jackson

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

U wouldn't believe!

Nope, i'm not reffering to today's surprise visit from the Jehova's Witness. An aside: they haven't come a-knocking in years...and my although I'm in dire need of spiritual help, that story is for another post.

I'm reffering to some bimbo galavanting about by the name Veronique a.k.a Lysa!!! She has the gall to lift my articles from my award winning blog and post them as hers. I don't blame her for being a fan [note with anger comes a hint of vanity :-> ] So, the first time i left her a piece of my mind [dare any of you haters esp MJY,MsK,Ms Daud ask "and what were u left with?")she deleted her blog...and later re-emerged having deleted the post with my comment, plus 3 others. But she still has 8 of my posts well copy-pasted. Nevertheless, she's at least had the time to make relevant gender and name very kind?

No credit has been given...and note she's not even earning what is the whole point of lifting stories???

My main worry is by the time u get to her blog she may have fled or deleted it but hopefully she doesnt realise we're on to her. Check her- Lysa

These are the posts she has NICKed!!!
(ebu compare and contrast-KCSE style)

1.What makes a Nick
2.MJ Blog Meme
3.Sipping on Vodka
4.A-Maize-ing Drops:Synopsis
5.A-Maize-ing Drops: the play
6.BadBoy or Mr Nice
7.The first time
8.Why I started working out.

she deleted

2.Food Poisoning!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

DVD, TV and I

It’s been a year since I discovered or is it made the big transition to TV-series. Being the self confessed TV/movie addict-I’ve been having relations with that TV screen since '85. But last year in June, I discovered the joy of borrowing TV-series. The whole art of borrowing an entire season had been lost on me...of course, until June 2004. The one thing that can be derived from TV-series is that aspect of continuity;
-in story line. Per season per show the story line and characters develops. You get personally attached...
-the fact you don't have to deal with advertisements, weekly lapses, video timers...

Oh and if it's on DVD:
-audio and visual quality is so superior. It takes viewer enjoyment to a climax...where was this technology back when I had time
-subtitles: Oh! yes never again will you miss a word said or whispered
-special features: yes I watch them all, deleted scenes, behind the scenes...if you were an addict you'd know why
-audio commentaries. Oh the joy of hearing what the actors/directors/producers have to say...

So it's been a year and this is all I have to show for it:

24: Season2-4
Oh yes I spent 5.5hrs yesterday watching back to back, the last episodes of season 4 24-I am emotionally, physically and mentally addicted to this show. Yes, I know its fiction-but damn it, that's one hell of fiction!!!!
I've said it before and I’ll say it again; this show is not for the weak hearted. It's packed with so much suspense if you're on heart medication you better give it a miss. Each episode is like a movie on its on-trust me, woe unto you if you miss just one episode.
It is severely well cast. Well edited-no space or time to waste.

This is the best thing on TV.

Alias: Season 1-4
Initially, I was going through withdrawals from 24. I didn't know what to start on. I thought it was going to be like watching some chick pull a 'Charlie's Angels' routine and
Thought it was gonna be crap. I'm telling you there's more to it than shady fight scenes. Between revolving story lines to do with Rimbaldi artifacts, the C.I.A, Covenant, and the previously destroyed SD-6...there are so many secrets that lie beneath- u have no option but to get addicted.
This show peaked from Season 1 halfway and it's been a roller coster ever since.

CSI: Season 1-3
Who can say no to solving murder but in a 2000 kinda way? Latest, authentic technology at its best. We all grew up with murder mysteries e.g. Derrick...But C.S.I does it so damn well with intriguing cases, and plausible solving approaches. Their technical advisors are so on point-you get nothing but the real deal. Visual effects are spectacular. A Jerry Bruckheimer Production-and you know about his rep right???

Will and Grace: Season 1
Pure NBC comedy. NBC has produced some of the best comedies of our time and this happens to be one of them. It's fresh, funny and not the same kind of sit-com scenarios that have become so trite.

0z: Season 1-3(and have 5-6)
Like all HBO progs this is one heck of a controversial prison drama. Trust me if you love drama-this is it. It is raw, intense and funny. Different sects divided up in prison from the Christians, Muslims, Aryans, Italians, Latino's...and watch them all get into each other's business in the maximum penitentiary that is, OZ

Six Feet Under:Season 1-2
Another HBO prog. It's as sick and morbid as it gets. Good for a laugh and drama as well. Excellent writing.

Sopranos: Season 1-4
Mmm mmmm that Tony Soprano, an adorable yet ice-cold mafia boss. If you like your mafia movies-this is the series for you. A mafia boss with issues that goes to a shrink (it aired before Analyse This) and is a bad ass mutha... oh yes! It’s as real as real gets. A little slow in Season one...but hung on for the ride. As he takes over power from his uncle who is the current he schemes and manipulates...and has struggles with his Dr Melfi, his mistresses, children, and back stabbing capos...

Frasier: Season 1-3
I was skeptical about this comedy but after I could see how it run for 11 years!!!
Frasier was spin of from hit NBC show-Cheers. He stereotypes your rich, Ivy League educated, elitist snob so well! The show has intellectual humor-almost British to say!
Where else would u get killer lines like?

"It's easier to get into her bed than a community college!!!!"
"I am not paid enough!! Actually, I need a raise to get to not-enough!!!"

Friends: Season 10
One of my all time fav comedies. I had never seen any of their behind the scenes especially mistake gags. Why they chose to end this series will always be a mystery.

: Season 1-2
Ok, let it not be said ati I'm not versatile. It was an almost crap show-of course it got cancelled in season 3. But hey, the storyline about 3 aliens living on earth trying to get back home wasn't so bad. Think X-files, think Smallville...think I borrowed the entire set I might as well finish it!!!!

Smallville: Season 1-4
Initially, I had refused utterly to start this show. But like any true addict, watch the first show and you're hooked. Surprisingly it's not as lame as you'd think!! And watching Clark Kent slowly evolve into Superman is a treat for the fans of this comic hero. The writers have been very accurate dealing Clark Kent. The have never deviated from the original storyline and haven't conflicted with even the Superman movies or series' ever made.
Also worth watching is how Lex Luthor eventually will turn out to be a villain.

The Shield: Season 1-3
Oh yes!!!! Welcome back Police drama with a bang. Enter Det. Mackey. To hell with those cliché bad cop and good cop-why not roll all in one-A good-bad-dirty cop!!!!
Its raw and gotta love it!!!

The West Wing: Season 1-4
If politics is your cup of tea, get yourself some muffins and enjoy the ride.
What's noteworthy is the excellence and intelligence in the writing of this show!
Everything about it just screams superior quality!!!

In Living Color: Season 1
Hey it was funny on KTN had to watch it again. Where else do u get to see the entire Wayan's Family do their thing...not to mention Jim Curry was a nobody before this show in fact he was James Curry then.

Just Shoot Me: Season 1-2
Killer sarcasm! Killer punch lines! In-your-face disses!!! This I had to re-watch it on DVD. They don't make comedies like this any more.

Knight Rider: 1 episode
I loved this show when I was a kid. Boy that 'Kit' was the car of my dreams.
So I see the DVD and I borrow it in a heart beat. Set in 1982...the thing bored me. I'm sorry Michael Knight and Kit-as much as I was a die hard fan...I couldn't finish the show's premiere episode.

O.C: 2 episodes
With a tagline like "Welcome to orange county, bitch!!!!" I don't think so...
The library lady suggested I try it. She was so persistent even gave me the first 4 episodes for free. Pure CRAP!!!!!

Desperate Housewives: Season 1
Every household has its little secrets!
A must watch-irregardless of who the target audience is. I'll say it again-TERI HATCHER is there!!!!! and Nicollete Sheridan-the man-hungry slut!
Has all the elements that make a hit show-drama, suspense, sex, scandal and tonnes of humor. And you wonder why it’s a hit show????

Lost: Season 1
I actually love this show. Very original concept of guys getting lost after an air crush and get washed onto an island that seems to have creatures and people that are quite extra-ordinary if not extra-terrestrial. We are yet to discover whether they are lost in some kind of Bermuda triangle/black hole phenomenon, cause crazy stuff is going. Same creator as Alias; so it has the similar mysteries that u have to watch unfold.

So to cut a long story short-last year has been busy. My video library adores me obviously...of course with my history they can't even mention stuff like late fees. I have immunity. They even call or sms me.
That is my list-which of course excludes TV watched live or movies borrowed. Oh and if you are wondering I do have a job...and 8-5 job. I do have a social life! I do sleep!
You just have to find the you need to know that special lib that charges DVD rentals at 100/= and of course have your very own Patron Saint of whom am grateful to