Saturday, November 27, 2004

Iwako and Masud

i'd like to dedicate an article to my 2buddies.who are gettin married on the 24of Dec.

kudos to the 2 of u,havin met in 1997 and remained buddies all thru...i must say its plain sweet to say the least.

many out there are jealous of such love that has triumphed time,distance...damn it i wish it was me.

Masud is one of my best pals-he can make u wanna pull out ur hair,a strand at a time, removin the whole follicle but he really is a great guy.

Iwako at first we were friends by default but with time we've become our own friends(i hope that makes sense) and with the many propositions u've turned down i guess only friends could do that to each other...

so i wish u all the best of marriages. the healthiest kids-and if they take after masud i shall surely sink my teeth in them

hey i know ur honeymoon will be christmas-literally and otherwise-know what am sayin...ha ha ha

all the best buddies-u do deserve each other!!!!!!and hope u find hapiness in japan together.

...and that's a lil practice for the speech am ready to give...just send that cheque in the mail and things will be alright


after writin th article on desparate house wives i ealised am i too old to have crushes?

over the years the followin have occupied my mind;

-Hilary:from fresh prince. not even the actress but the hilary alone

-that girl from beverly hills withth enose job

-JADA PINKETT: to quote the nutty proffessor when he saw her "MMmmmmh Mmmmmh Mmmmhhh now that's fine!"
just get urself a copy of set it off, Nutty professor1, and Jason's lyrics...

Then Join my club...the jackets are comin out next week

-Teri Hatcher.....give me a T, give me an E,....

-Rachel from friends:especially back when she had curly hair.

-ANANDA LEWIS: mmmmm that girl was hot and knew it high butt!

of late i've done grown old...but yeah those set my heart on fire.

Do I have a Stand?

u know one of those topics that people get into and they ask- so what do u think? and of course u wanna sound intelligent like u've had some kinda a formal u pause for the cause, and answer...

i gather there never is a right answer for many things.infact thats why there are 2 ides of a debate and either side could win. so here are a few answers of mine:

-Abortion:This is currently a hot topic.what do i think? i think Abortion is plain murder.Homicide/infanticide...the whole works its wrong...BUT....who am i to speak. Have i had a pragnancy? Do i have any idea as to what females feel-whether it was by mistake,untimed....who am i to judge!!! sure its wrong but doesnt someone have the choice to chose to do what they feel is best for them-even if its wrong!!!!

of cousre i'd rather they live out the full term and have the kid adopted-but is that what really happens in a real world. if i was to knock up someone...even with my high moral stand-this may be actually be an option.
doesnt make me any worse but its just reality!

-Contraceptives: Catholics are so anti-contraceptives and very pro-abstinence.
then there's the other aspect of people who say "people are having sex, so what wrong in advocating safe sex..."

hmmh!!! one group says just keep its zipped, get that chastity belt...other says be safe about it...where to take a either stand wrong?

i say if u cant abstain-try again-no really really try again if not- play it safe...but u guys should see the medical patients in most govt hospitals...guys are dyin out there left right and centre and am not talkin about dental infections

-Flying Out: there's also alot of hulla bulooo. about guys who flew out and became sell outs. HOME IS ALWAYS BEST-but i say if u get a better payin job-run bitch run. if Qatar wants to buy u out-ur soul and citizenship-Run bitch run.(no pun intended to the athletes)

Seriously-its all about the money in the long run. as much as cash shouldnt matter it does...if it means u got to sell out to make ends meet...

why should u struggle in life when u could have it easier. if u could have many opportunities...Am not sayin Money can buy happiness-but it sure doesnt hurt having some!!!!if it aint workin in ur mother land and it can work elsewhere feel free.and if ur patriotic u will come back to kenya with ur cash and help rebuild the nation-kidding-help rebuild more!!!!!!

-POLITICS: uh duh uh....ignorant is as ignorant u know the meanin of apathy and indifference...ask me a political question.

-Chemical Castration(not physical): rape has been on the increase it's an epidemic out there. ok maybe not so much on the increase but let say many more cases are gettin reported to the media and to the police. so women parliamentarians have suggested chemically castrating them.what do i think?

if someone can force himself on a 2yr old-rapin and rippin her...leavin her for dead

if someone has no respect for another human being and consciously choses to violate, demean, disrespect....

if someone has no self control and is controlled entirely by his sexual urges

if someone can have carnal knowledge of his own grandmother

then i say they are lucky to get away with just chemical castration. i say pluck em babies without any local anaethesia!!!!!!

-POLYGAMY: Good One!!!!
if one mood swing aint enough why add on another!!!!
if u cant afford one chick ....
if u easily succumb to headaches...
if u dont remember birthday's...
if ur already married...

Desparate Housewives!!!!!!

oh yes this is a new ABC show that i saw featured on oprah and i must tell u all:friends and family watch it!!!!!
why u should watch it:-

1.back in 1995 i was introduced to LOIS AND CLARK:the new adventures of superman...and since then i have harboured a major crush on TERI HATCHER. oh that woman...(be still my heart!) yes.she's in this new prog that's rated as having the best ratings for a new prog...

she has had the cutest eyebags, cutest smile, petite body...oh and trust me she could slap me anytime like she did brosnan in 'tomorrow never dies" (be still my heart)

oh u shoulda seen her do a lil strip tease dance on oprah-woof woof

2.NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN- yes former Knots Landing drop dead Bombshell. yes she was paige in that show....

she looks a lil tired... a little older... looks like she's had a few usuccessful plastic surgeries...but who cares she still has it goin on!!!

3. Did i mention teri hatcher is in it...dont u remember how hot hse was in that hair style of hers....

4. it also boasts a cast of other hot women including Marcia Cross the cunnivin bitch from Melrose PLace

this show has the nicholasgichu stamp of approval..problem is i dont think its comin to kenya anytime soon so i shall wait for the dvd's or for u kind folks out there to dub it for me and post it to me....

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


they say u cannot move forward without lookin at where u came from.
the year i ssoon comin to an end and 2004 will be a page in someone's blog as that year.
so knowin me and my love for livin in the past i decided to walk back 10 years and pay a visit to the year that was 1994...

not much happened then.

-was in form 2 back then. fat little blazer wearing,good lookin geek from around the block
-it was the year where legion of doom and the hart foundation rocked wwf. not to mention ric flair and mr perfect...giant gonazales ahd previously won the wrestle mania and hammered the last nail in undertakers coffin.....
-the year of roberto carlos' sigmoid football kick(yaani soray am so sure he played in the 94 world cup;not in the final but he was there)
-bebeto's goals and he's lil dance for his baby
-baggio took italy to the finals and....u know the rest
-if u were a school mate of mine u know it was the year we rocked in the play "SCHOOLS OUT!" oh and the after party late nov-the steaks and the slow dancin (Najma u will always have a place in my arms)
-songs that made this year: i'll make love to u, regulate, can we talk , always in my heart, breathe again,zhane's groove thing,babyface's rock bottom...
-usher was usher raymond singing just call me a mack....he was so small then and we knew that on day he'd grow into his nose.
-KTN had progs like Pros and Cons,Gabrielle's Fire,Roc...shows like sisters were still showin. neighbours was on with akina scott
-my first after shave "kouros" its still there
-high school buddies,damn what happened to kathy sempebwa,stella josaih and iman......
-i run my first cross country marathon.
-i run my last cross country marathon
-oh my god we went on those presidential award expeditions to ngong and machakos...the beginnin of skokes..shit those things were fun.
-took part in first aid with red cross what were we thinkin?!
-went to tigoni for a picnic lunch with school buddies
-my first CD player:and sony kwanza...its still there now obsolete..

ok this article not headed where i thought it was headin so its adios read the next topic

MOVIES:-flashback and enjoy

Hey another walk down memery lane.
Do you remember way back when, when action movies were exactly that…damn. Going to the library with your primary uniform on a Friday afternoon after3:45 was the best thing then since answer books in primary mathematics!

Yaani…if u did not get a descent james bond flick e.g a view to a kill or from Russia with love …or if it wasn’t a comedy from police academy series there were boyhood action flicks

-There was the bmx kids and bmx bandits…men it gave us pudgy kids hope in riding bikes
-superman and wonder woman and six billion dollar man and bat man…need I say more
-HOLD ON this is a good one how bout? HE-MAN aka prince ADAM and battle-cat and okoh and the sorcerer!!! “FOR THE POWERS OF GREYSKULL”…and the series even had a spin-off his twin sis SHE-RAH kidnapped at an early age “FOR THR HONOR OF GREYSKULL!”….damn those were cartoons-pass me some tissue and pop corn I need to relive childhood….
-Knight Rider. That car aka KITT damn that car was hot.!!!bullet proof with super pursuit could talk drive on its own…..
-A-Team. From Face,Murdoch,B.A and of course MR T and the bullet proof van
-Karate movies am not talking bout akina bruce lee am talking bout
.No retreat no surrender
.China O’brien aka Cynthia Rothrock
.Best of the Best
.Death before Dishonour
.American Ninja-Michael Dukakis
.Police story
.Karate Kid and Mr Miyagi..wax on wax off….

-Chuck Norris from missing in action to delta force
-of course Arnie in terminator and runnin man
-Sly stallone Rambo and rocky
-Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder in classics like See no evil hear no evil, and another train comedy I forget the name but had the name strikes or something
-what happened to finding golden girls, or cosby show at the end of movies or finding asian movies after the movie-some damsel was always in distress bein chased far and wide screamin ‘nahi’
-hey we all grew up with BREAKDANCE: Ozone,electric boogaloo and Kelly!!!
-Eddie Murphy in movies like trading places, 48 hours and Beverly hills cop

How bout the early nineties phase of black movies. In high school u were not black till u watched
.BOOMERANG-with killer line ‘love shoulda brought ur ass home last night’
.POETIC JUSTICE –killer line ‘wanna smell my punani’ irony it was about a poetic chick called justice
.MENACE TO SOCIETY- killer lines ‘I’ll suck ur dick’ “Nigga what the fuck u say!”
.ABOVE THE RIM-don’t remember any lines but we all remember REGULATE by Warren G and Nate Dogg….’one of em girls was sexy as hell I said ooh I like ur…’ ‘…the took my rings they took my rolex i looked at the brother and said damn whats next…’’ …they got guns in my head ,I think am goin down, I cant believe this happenin in my own town…if I had wings I would fly…’
.SPIKE LEE MOVIES From Malcolm X, Get on the Bus, to Jungle Fever…hey porn wasn’t easily available this was the nearest best thing.

-speakin of the nearest best thing. How bout Fatal Attration, Basic Instinct and Sliver.
VIVA SHARON STONE-grrrrrrrrrrr prrrrrrrrrrrrr hrrrrrrrrrrr meaouw!

Monday, November 22, 2004

movies movies

1. hey i watched 'Exorcist:The beginning' this weekend.and damn it i did like the damn thing. its not ati scary but it has some intense scenes that will keep u at the edge of ur totally biased since i believe the original exorcist was the best horror of my time. i was so spooked by it back in 1992 i gave horros a break. damn its not just scary it was demonic the actual belief that the devilwsa inside this cute girl who was masturbating with a crucifix screamin FUCK ME FUCK ME... that was some good shit

and in this one its obviously the prequel and based on the sit where lucifer actually landed on earth after he was cast away from heaven.

damn it watch the damn movie and u'll see what am talkin about.

my other verdict is i cant wait for scary movie 4 to see how it spoofs this movie. ladies and gentlemen if u watched scary movie2 you must have enjoyed the exorcist part---damn it JAMES WOODS did justice. the say imiation is the greatest flattery-but hat scene in scary movie 2 was just the BOMB!!!!!!

2.i watched manchurain candidate with denzell. YAWN. i mean what was meryl streep thinkin for cryin out loud!!!!! ok story line my verdict wiat for it on tape...better yet let someone borrow it then u borrow it from them

3.OH yes the new JERRY BRUCKHEIMER movie opened at number 1. hell yeah. this is his 3rd collabo with nic cage-the rock,con air being the other 2...

4.movies am waiting for

-oceans 12. oh yeah all eleven are back with zeta jones
-meet the fockers!!! everyones's back with dustin hoffman and streisand playin his parents.
-hitch: the new will smith movie saw the trailer and it was hilarious.damn this yr smith has spun i-robot and shark tale mega bucks hope he's keepin my jada pinket happy!!!!!
-taxi: i kow its opened but u just gotta love queen latifah!!!
-the grudge
-alexander: hey soray am a sucker for oliver sone movies and i have to watch it first to see if it really is crap. if u watched JFK,PLATOON,ANY GIVEN SUNDAY,WALL STREET,BORN ON THE 4TH OF JULY u'll see why i beg to differ....

Saturday, November 20, 2004

kenyan stars-a walk down memory lane

i've received hate mail and death threats actually its only from one peson who is the only kenyan to disagree with the question arises do we have kenyan star?!
anonymous aka kk posted that she wouldnt even throw her bra at nameless(albeit funny)

do we have kenyan celebs or are we player haters? is it that we are biased or use western standards to judge or ridicule...

hence i will just mention them and not make a comment let u guys be the critiques!!!!we have come a long way and we're improving with time...look at where we all came from

-TV personalities:
there used to be jimmy gathu way back when...he hosted club kiboko and thru him we knew what videos were in jam-a-delic,rhytmix,kass kass,rap-em,and rastrut....sure they pirated videos and had the audacity to call it a ktn production...but it was alright same league entered lorna irungu,esther mbondo....

the katherine kasavuli's,njoroge mwaura's on news. the kbc crew of which 2 are in VOA esther muthui and vincent makori. akina willie mwangi,mohammed juma njuguna,anne ofula....

Zain Virjee:from a capital fm presenter all the way to cnn. remember when she came to school to that HIV interview and i walked her round...she gave me her card...u think if i called her she'd remember me

lydia manyasi? the epitome of continuity presentation.....

fred obachi machoka-MUSIC TIME

Redykulas: those were celebs until their jokes run drier than mandera

vitimbi and vioja crew.....othorong'ong'o,masanduku,masaku,bin tamaa,ojwang,maliwaza,mama kayai...inspector wariahe...

how bout that lady who used to host a msa production called " mix em gather em" damn she had a huge lisp and hence the convenience of the abridged title

-Radio personalities:

how bout the kbc crew: they hosted saturday night show(SNS)-and would give us the lyrics of freak me on air in such a poetic way
beat time at 4 everyday. the john karani's.....they had a comment for each song and made dubbing from kbc a nightmare-cause all ur tapes would have their voices...cause u would never stop dubbin faster than they could interrupt. i mean john karani had perfected this art he'd talk in the middle of the song.....

leonard mambo mbotela

akina phil mathews and hits not homework...afternoon drive
alex bellfield, dusty rhodes?????

how bout when all the so-called hot presenters were at capital. bob kioko(and his side kick muthoni bwika on hits not homewrok) ,caroline mutoko,pinky,maina kageni,robert warobi... the days nefore kiss etc....

metro fm in 1996 when it was the other u know that metro fm had called itself capital fm then changed.....

-Music personalities:
there was impulse-with jimmi gathu. hit songs like njukia,kilake

5alive-only one is alive at the moment.bob is in radio. chris did omo pick a box and tv ads.vic is still doin music....eric he's the only one who still sings.who was the other kamba dude????? 5alive rocked with songs like 'eh ndio' 'empty grave' 'mashaka'
rare watts
musically speaking.

-anna mwale...ok nothin to do with kenyan music but do u remember her. "excuse me" and "kabuku"

that was intersting and now we have a new breed of kenyan stars who've been the limelite for less than a year and expect praise and fame to be thrown at them.

i say let them pass the famous phase and let them turn popular...a fine line between famous and popular-a very fine line. unfortunately most are well known not well liked

and u'd think am embarrased

i actually say there is a fine line between ashamed and embarrased.when u do something socially suicidal...but that aint what am talkin about.this is about those small things that make u u that in retrospect can make u geeky/nerdy/but in essence kinda define who u are...

so here are a lil things that ya i kinda like and despite what u may think hey thats me:so if u have a cheap comment like u "ms ngare" u know u can shove it up ur ass, up ur rectum, up the descending colon,across the transverse,down the ascending.... ha ha ha....u better know ur anatomy to laugh at that joke....get it up the descending down the ascending...

nick breathes a sigh...that was actually funny
so here goes

-i recently watched muppets the other day and my love for MS PIGGY was rekindled.damn that dame has class what a femme fatalle(ive actually realised i have no idea what that means) she is one arrogant, classy, desparate,bitchy SWINE!!! and the funny thing is SHE ACTUALLY IS A SWINE. woishe she is a wanna be star!!! a true diva. VIVA MS PIGGY!!!!

-Am a true MJ fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who else has lyrics like those could dance like that...who else's music will forever be timeless.
i mean have u seen the videos to smooth criminal,thriller,billie jean,do u remember the time....
better yet have u tried to move like that....
who else has broken as many records as he has or gotten more awards...

he is undoubtedly the king of pop!! and i dare u to comment he aint!! best album bad+dangerous.dangerous had that new jack swing influence of teddy riley that made it rock!!!!

-Am also a babyface die hard fan!!!! apart from MJ who else is a grammy award winning singer/songwriter/producer....(ok fine alicia,lauryn hill) but u know what am talkin about.He is also a fantastic BACKUP singer!!!yeah lets see em divas doing backup for someone else....
babyface-single handedly made the likes of toni B,tlc,Tevin,boys to men,karen white...his influence helped whitney,bobby brown,ki ci and jojo,brandy,
i mean take a look at the songs his been involved with:madonna's take a bow,super woman,i'll make love to u,end of the road,breathe again(actually toni's first and second album) tlc's baby baby,red light special,diggin on u....mariah's melt away,i'll never forget u.boys2men...pebbles, tevin's always in my heart,can we talk,i;m ready....
whitney's miracle,im ur baby tonight....

the entire waitin to exhale and soulfood album was his....
as an artist hs best album 'the day' 'babyface' best songs when will i see u and seven seas
-and a true MARIAH CAREY FAN. my favorite song being love takes time and melt album daydream

-My GOD i still follow Days of Our Lives!

-i like britney spears' song TOXIC. and another slow one of hers...but in my defense i do not have any of her albums on tape or cd.nor have i ever borrowed any...but damn it toxic sure sounds good!!!

-i love dexter's lab cartoon:that boy genious is funny as hell!!!!have u watched the episode where he thinks he will die(from a mexican berito) and he has a whole list of things to do before his untimely the robots,make world piece,make his mum happy(by hoppin around in abunny suit) give didi his lab and finally tell his parents about the lab...and h e approaches them and the tell him"whatever it is sonlet it rip!!!" and he lets it rip.....lets just say the tv gets embedded in the wall

how bout he episode where he does didi's experiment which backfire and sends the entire school into orbit. killer lines: "hope fully by monday the school will be out of the suns orbit and back on earth..." as he peddles away to the border...

-am a die hard jery bruckheimer fan. i mean watch pearl harbor,bad boys,con air,pirates,armageddon,bad boys,remember the titans,black hawk down, rock....

-i have the original BREAKDANCE and BREAKIN-breakdance 2 soundtrack on vinyl,LP!!

-i suffer from allergic rhinitis.yes i come packed with handkerchiefs ready to blow

-last time i swam was in 98 and before that 93...i stopped diving for ten cents way back when.imagine i used to go boulevard,silver springs,safari park(before it was SAFARI PARK) for 50bob...go with cousins spend entire afternoon divin for ten cents.....

-i do occasionally watch vioja

-i love chess

-i recently watched a movie in theatre alone: LOSER?i dont think so...but it was fun havent done that since 2000.

-i blogger

-i collect movie stab tickets.and have been following the boxoffice from site to check out is

-i surf on tv stuff especially spoilers best website is

-if i have more stuff i sure as hel will add them on the list

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

favorite things unsaid

there so many things out there that no one ever mentions and actually everyone thinks about them:and on nmy website we shall bust u. to misquote julie andrews from soundof music"these are my favorite things...raindrops on roses,whiskers on kittens,brown paper packages tied up with strings,apples and stroodles...."

1.who hear doesnt enjoy a deep heart warmin from teh inside to outside loud vibrating and resonating BELCH?
2.who hear doesnt enjoy a deep heart warmin from teh inside to outside loud vibrating and resonating FART?
3.who doesnt enjoy takin a good dump...especially after its been a while.
4.not to mention scratchin down there....
5.yes i know it too u do like the occasional gossip especially if u heard it first or are spreading it first such joy as new email,sms,or comment on ur blogger.
7.aint it almost orgasmic as ur head is just about to hit the pillow after a hard day of pluckin talkin bout the head on my shoulder u perverts!!!!
no greater joy than sleeping. ITS AN UNDERATED FORBIDDEN PLEASURE!!!!
damn it and to think when i was a kid i used to refuse sleep....
8.isnt it just a relief when u wake up in the morning and find u didnt wet the bed?!
9.A good novel,movie,programme-NOT!!!!!! oh isnt it just delicious when u spoil the ending of some novel movie or tv series for some die hard fun-cause u have already wathced it before...woe unto u if u havent finished 24...or alias... when u see someone falling....isnt that worth fighting for...isnt that worth dying for...ok enough wit the matrix lines
11. pickin out a healthy chunk from your nose. rolling it around into a ball and flickin it far and wide...into your awaitin mouth!
12.a nice piece...who am i kidding...chunk of nyam chom!!!!!
13.When it rains and ur in bed...
14.oh the pleasure from takin good hot chilli...almost better than...
15.oh and an ice cream headache. puttin icecream on ur last molars for like a minute and lettin it suck out heat from your teeth slowly...oh wait a minute ...oh...oh....someone pass me a tissue....
16.number 15 the last part. "O" and not oprah's magazine!!!! on your might sound sissy but boy doesnt it hurt and hurt good when no one remembers your birthday!!!!!
18.knowin the lyrics of the in song. in primary we'd compete who could rap the freh prince openin credit..."now this is a story.all bout how my life got twisted/turned upside down...."
19.salary being credited into your account.
20.the fact that u are all readin this...

of kenyan music...

a new friend of mine asked me to write about kenyan music-she's called first i jumped at the chance -i had enough to write about criicising it...trashin it...showin no mercy...but then i realised wait a minut this is kenyan music we're talkin about.
1:most kenyan music sounds good. basic production and teh songs have u whistlin an chantin the tune. e.g an ogopa song sounds bloody good.i mean all those collabos of e-sir and others. kleptomaniax. nameless....
2.and thats where the compliments stop....for cryin out most kenyan music is lyrically challenged. most songs dont make any sense e.g
boomba train
fever-aka fintiva
jua la nyesha,mvua la waka

no don't u throw in literary/poetic license at me. am talkin bout basic sense.
most lyriccs are kiddish. childish with very immature sense of rhymin like some nursery school poem(yes that what i think of r kelly as well)

3. am not one for messages in music. but a whole song on booze?! keroro!!! please and u see the bloody song sounds so damn good.....but at the end of the day....

lets not talk bout the song called 'manyake' all sizes juala jua wahitaji

meukatia mamboch!?

yes very good messages we are sending our children.

oh and eric wainaina if ur reading this: songs on corruption and patriotic songs dont do it for me!!! please dont sing about potholes or traffic or anything else. if u want to make a social stand-write essays.take part in debates. heck even open ur own website....

4. who on the earth said a kenyan song has to be in swahili or in english????
i have been rackin my brain for an english kenyan song......

ideally i hope 'sema' are readin this.
this is the only kenyan group that i can say have good singin voices...u are our only salvation.

5.most kenyan singers have no talent in music writin or singing.
music writin-they are not born musicians.dont know music itself. hold on...i know u dont have to know music to be a singer. true-Whitney houston and Celine Dion dont write their own music actually i dont hink they know how to.

my point is if u dont have the talent dont write-let others do it for you

now the other point is apart from "Sema' "wyre" possibly mercy myra...who on earth can ever win a grammy in kenya

6.collabos: ok ive had enough of this...i hate it when rkelly does it or missy or...stop imitatin...if ur gonna do a bloody duet do one but dont just pox into someones video....

7.piracy: yah right like am advocating for anyone-i say with kenyan music listen to kiss fm. borrow someones's cd written cd and enjoy it.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Bush winning/Oprah

a fellow frined a.k.a A.W.R suggested that of all topics i can write about this should be here goes ....

1.What do i think of bush winning. For starters am still not over Gore losing let alone him winnin the last election.
2.if it was kenya "hiyo ni riggin!!!" would have been my answer my in america where the voting system is "highly effecient" cough cough..except whe nw e have dimpled/pregnant chad!!!!! how could americans vote for him again?!

didnt he call nigeria a continent?? oh i mean Kan-tin-ent
didnt he say "do not misunderestimate me?!" i wanna see the next elections u think bush didnt look like a president. try cheney!!!!

now if i was in the audience when she gave away those cars she'd have gotten her own post on this website.
yeah she's a great host-gets celeb stars...but she's no idol of mine. who am i kidding i envy that rich mathee!! damn and she is looking kinda good oflate...think she need a younger steadman... if she does pass her y email

tumechill! NO sex!!

of late there's been this teenage ad on tv that promotes or advocates for abstinence. for those out of the country it includes numerous boys and girls ages 13-18 sayin that they are too young to indulge in some 'dippin' main message is no sex-they are still young. then there is another add that has guys(boys) saing that to be a man they have to grow up first and then thionk like a man...

in all honesty i think the idea of the add is great!!!!its about time people also discussed the abtinence issue a bit..

now apparently the idea was brought about not cause of the prevalence of HIV/AIDS
but apparently kids nowadys especially rich kids indulge in orgies all night long.(boy didn't i get invited to the wrong parties...or did i go to the wrong schools)

but the prob with the add most of those kids look like crazy kids. the add sounds like "no way am never gonna have sex-again!"
or "no way am gonna have sex-not after that last bout of clap i got from her!!!!"
or "never again will i give out herpes as a going away present!"

so i hope the youth catch a decent meaning from that ad!!

as for me am gonna loook out for those cuties and pull an R.Kelly/M.J on them!!!!

until then y'all just chill!!!!

what brought me to my knees

this past week i have been a victim of the worst of all muggers.worse than being held hostage by someone with a gun.yes ladies and gentlemen who read my column i had been held hostage by a COLD!!!!!

Damn i was its BITCH!!! i must have acquired some pure strain from nyeri-nothing but the best for me. DAMN NYERI!

yaani...started with my right nostril...a slow incipient itch slowly started workin its magic to my right nostril..spreadin its evil!!!trust me a nail up my mouth would help. there was that itching up there somewhere that ruled my mouth.that bitch had me callin out its name.

ofcourse it started descending down to my throat-destroying all my cute tissues...swallowing,breathing and talkin was painful.fever. my whole head hurt. nasal drippings aplenty.i could clear 3handkerchiefs in an hour. red eyes. my throat felt like velvet being stroked the wrong way.

oh and the mucus was at first light the the that drops out so first even before u reach for tha precious hanky. then with time it gets viscous and blowing ur nose requires some energy.cause when u want to clear ur nose it includes mucus from ur nose reaching all the way to the back of your throat. am talkin about an improvement of 90%in ventilation by the time you're through. now this one soaks up the hanky and makes it heavy and yellow.....lets not mention the fact that you have rubbed the skin under your nose-its tender and bright red.
and right now my voice has gone and hurts like 2 hells.

as i was tellin a friend of mine-i discovered,however, that a plate of sukuma lubricates that throat so well "karaoke" was my middle name for a while.

but until am set free-am still sniffling,sneezing, prayin for mercy!!!!

Monday, November 08, 2004

Favorite movie lines

yes i live,breathe movies and i thought why not share with y'all favorite lines from sure some are slightly off-quoted/mis quoted but stick around i shall be updating the list as i remember.....

-"your life will not go unnoticed because i will be your witness!" SHALL WE DANCE
-"..your mama sucks cocks in hell.." Exorcist
-"Love shoulda brought r ass home last night!" Boomerang
1. "once you go black, you're gonna need a wheel chair" WHITE CHICKS

2. "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist" USUAL SUSPECTS

- its not the size of the hammer that counts its the nail ur aimin it at
- ..i see dead this shit is dope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- bitch....ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-there's nothin sexy on this earth, believe me, than a woman you have to salute in the morning!!!!
-You can't handle the truth
-you liutenant whinebag????
- Tom" you said grave danger?"
Jack " is there any other kind????"

5." had me at hello (teardrop) you had me at hello!!!!" JERRY MAGUIRE/AUSTIN POWERS

6"....and things that were never meant to be forgotten became history. and history turned into legend. legend turned into myth..." LORD OF THE RINGS

7."...we are warriors!i would rather fight besides u than with a thousand soldiers. we arelions! Look-there...what lies beyond that beach...IMMORTALITY!!! TAKE ITS YOURS!!!!" TROY

8." you broke my heart fredo. i knew it was you. u broke my heart!Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend" GODFATHER2

9.actually the whole speech of joe mantegna in GODFATHER 3. paraphrasing "havent i given u enough. and all u want is to just take take take...."

10. AL pacino- hu-haaaaa!!! SCENT OF A WOMAN
forget about it DONNIE BRASCO
fuck u-that's my middle name GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS
11."you make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time" HOT CHICKS

12. DEUCE BIGALOW- "women pay me to give them pleasure"
- he-bitch
13. "They may take away our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!" BRAVEHEART- that freeeeeeeeeeeedom speech.

14.My name is Bond, James Bond
Shaken not stirred!!!

15. "....this night holds for each and everyone of us-the very meanin of our existence!....." MATRIX2

16. "God bless America and nowhere else" HEAD OF STATE

17. "wanna smell my punani?!" POETIC JUSTICE

18. ARNIE- I'll be back
-asta la vista baby

19. "my mama always said life's like a box of chocolate" FORREST GUMP
" stupid is as stupid does"

20. "frankly my dear i just don't give a damn" GONE WITH THE WIND

21. "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." GLADIATOR

22. "God Knows i loves me my Harpo " COLOR PURPLE"

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

went back to acad!!!!!!

My GOD the memories that came back,flashed back.its like bein in the past-with everything different yet all the same. all the boards at the reception were there...famiiar names-damn if only the tears in my eyes could let me finish readin them

met mr mbuthi-the new dean of students..the place is full british and all.igcse and ib sytems rule and now the have class7-form 6equivalents.waited for mr kariuki but am sure he was busy terrorising some class in echessa was in a class and since i met her last week i didnt wait.

met gideon-librarian(a whipped out my card to help a brother out!) john the caretaker.shadrack the book-keeper(he stil has a nasty atttude) a few lab-techs that in the past were unamused by certain broken beakers and water fight with distiled water.

apparently i think only four teachers remain. chadri went to the states.ruo retired/went to oshwal.raval=oshwal. omar and bhutt=retired long long long overdue.kamaara,gichuki=movedon to fresher waters. owala=like all movie sequels came back!!!!

it was bitter sweet being back to a plcae i gave 6 years too...and sady i knew i wasnt gonna reply unless the careers councillor calls me back to give a talk...ha ha ha