HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

wanna send a shout out to all my readers-may your year be as blessed as it should be.

jere-my tight buddy u know i have nothin but love for u. but u mention tarantino or hero once more and the diatribe will be on

davo-comment bout the movie not show us ati unaenda date with my anne

soray- yeah baby theme of the year "SUCK ON THIS!!!"

torments-thou shall reveal thyself in good time

KK-not too much fun ebu u chill

Other half-am saving up...get them papers

Kui,Kashata,Kenyn Pundit-keep on readin,it will only get better

Mshairi- siku moja nitaandika kwa lugha yetu ya kitaifa. lakini mpaka hiyo siku....

lieura- even u ebu keep em legs crossed and chill!soon we shall meet with resplendent love

haiya ati those are my only readers that just wrong

2005

2005:

Unfortunately even though you swear you shall not make a big deal about it-you do! You plan on not making any resolutions but deep down in your subconscious-you make the list nonetheless.

So what is my subconscious thinking of as the day approaches? Do I have visions and dreams? Am not the kinda guy who has long term goals, I just flow with the wind! See what happens-am kind of a pessimist and this way I avoid getting hurt. Hence don’t venture out planning to damn far ahead knowing that hey shit happens! I live each day as it comes….a little boring but it’s what’s brought me so far without any mental breakdowns. Viva short term goals!


So if I believed in New Year resolutions, mine would probably go like this:-

1. Procrastination: A bad habit. I love doing things last minute or letting them wait see if they can get things done on their own self. Evidently that water bill did not get paid on its own. So away with procrastination lets just sort our shit out here and now!!!!
2. You can suck on this!!!! Soray that’s my new motto! Honestly enough with being pushed around or being used. Enough with giving people the benefit of the doubt or being afraid to hurt other’s feelings.
NB: this has nothing to do with being mushy or sentimental. Just that you can please some people some of the time but you can never please every one all the time so: I shall not be used and I shall not bend over backwards to please!!
3. We’re getting old we have got start having a plan of action! Nothing radical but
just have some idea of the direction you’re heading towards.
4. Honestly lets take this blog places.
5. Try keep in touch with lost friends. Hey am not having a funeral that’s gonna be empty… there shall be weeping of masses…
6. Be the best I can be.
7. Give more to charity
8. Spend more on myself
9. Be optimistic as I am pessimistic. The world is a cruel place but lets give it some hope!
10. Maintain the exercise thing that I have been upto since October.
11. Pray more often-and I mean daily. Each night let there be a phone call (collect) to Jesus.
12. Maintain that it is better to receive than to give! Not to use any one! Turn the other cheek! Be more spiritual!
13. Be more informed…a little extra reading won’t hurt(not like it used to anyway.)
14. Give “Hero” a second chance-NOT!!!!!
15. Get more serious! Yah right-if u don’t like me the way I am “suck on this!!!”

Fair enough. So there are lots of things I hope for. Wishes I want to see come true. So I take my stand here and say “I am actually looking for the best out there”

Lets start this year positively and with such karma we can influence events and outcomes and have fulfilling year.
I am waiting for nothing but the best!
I shall claim what’s mine!
I shall not settle for less!
2005 BRING IT!

until then...

I do not wanna turn this into a cheap shot throwin,cursin field, kapuka this kapuka that kinda blog....but until that time arises i gotta do what i gotto do

1.Jere and soray and mshairi: i seem to have missed the whole oral literature behind such a powerful nobel peace prize award winnin piece of movie makin-my god am gonna fail the exam on that.

2.honestly?!?! what was the storyline again? i didnt like it for the action nor for the intensity in its theme whatever that was?!

3.so what's wrong with cheap humor soray? if am not wrong WE invented cheap humor.
i'd rather scary movie, white chicks any day as compared to the last two samurai's meeting with their lethal weapon dance moves....damn!!!

am sorry i still disagree. hero sucked!!! and if u guys still think its the best thing since 2ply toilet tissue....u r welcome.

remember make love not war!!!!

Hero

Now i have this friend of mine-lets call him jere. He is a die-hard fan of tarantino and he believes he's the best thing to happen since deodorant!!!! so he recommends this movie to me HERO!

i borrow it. watch it....

CRAP!!!! i mean the string/cable work in the movie is excellent(better than crouching intern hidden cigar-sorry monica lewinsky- meant crouching tiger hidden draggon)

but that was it-i need more challengin stuff than fancy footwork...gone are the days where just action does the trick jere-grow up....

there was lip syncin in the dialogue since it was not shot in english!!! derrick and mexican soaps have better lip syncin!!!!!! i mean shouldnt they call milli vanilli for lessons?!

the voices used did not match the characters!!

the whole story was ...yawn!!!!!

u guys ebu watch it then we criticise the living daylights out of one of the most boring films of the year.

"how can 2 peope fight 1000's of bows and arrows and not even get hit by one???"

the movie lacks reality!!!!


CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!!!!

Food Poisoning

its a glorious boxing day a.k.a St stephen's day and i sit here cringin wingin in post-food poisoning phase. Whoa!!! yeah BABY!!!! nothin like a good dose of food poisonin to totally reduce you to your knees like the scum that u r!!!

am not talkin bout vomiting or bouty diarrhoea...trust me all the contents of the misery are outside my body. or rather were passed like a burst City council pipe-with the urgency and speed of a bullet!!!! spray painted across the toilet bowl like some form of innovative abstract art!!! And with such sudden relief you could have thought it was some form of exorcism!

However, as empty as my intestines are- the toxins/irritants are still there. spasmic contractions rule! yaani, u can practically feel ur intestines cramp, do cartwheels....tie and untie fancy boy-scout knots.... stretch and contract at the same time!!!Futile attempts have been made to pass non existent debris...and so i sit here with a silly smirk on my face as i endure pure agony. tiny bombs are immploding within!!!! the entire tummy tender to the touch. radiating pain-for a moment ur not sure if it is back pain, appendicitis.... the plickety-plockety plumbing sounds(splash!) and visible peristaltic motions not withstanding-i will live to see another day.

but am a strong guy!~!

iwako and masud pt2

oh the wedding was great...small garden weddin...good food that i didnt get enough of damn it...but finally they are hitched(actually it was just a reception the weddin was yesterday...

iwako shed some tears....then we shed some tears....

mohan, samson and edwin were there-poor AKA representation but atleast we showed up!!!!

wish u nothin but the best!!!!may u have twins on the first go!!!!

happy xmas everybody

to all the avid readers and fans wishin u a merry xmas(though am not exact in festive spirit) but may all ur wishes come true and hope the next year is less shitty ....cheers everyone!!!!!

..my bad...

KK: my bad girl. but remembe my woeds of advice. screw the states come here suffer with the rest of us. as for JM i wonder if he saw my post on him. hee hee hee did u see davo threaten to report me to marshall cause of ur sis

Davo: how bout 2 freakin sentences foo!!! damn had forgotten u were classmates with marshall and to think we had accepted u as one of us...u old foo!!!!!!!
Now if u decide to pull a george michael/lets go outside theme...remember i warned u

Lieura: sup girl?! hmmh u share a urinal see what i mean...but as for the rentokils just next to the loo that's just nasty!!!!

soray: whats so funny bout bein called St Nick!? eh eh

Davo: anything to make this child happy. ati u jump on me for a piggy back ride...now what's wrong with his pic??????????

20th December 04

Lets try something new. Most of the guys who blog treat their blogs like some kind of journal/diary…I’ve treated mine like a forum for stand up comedy routines…missed portions of my childhood…repressed inhibited emotions that I have always had deep inside ...kinda like the hulk or spiderman…

Anyway…so today I’ll try doing what the norm is doing, I shall update you on my day…its 8.10pm 20th December 2004. Am in Nyeri-the land of cows and pure dust. The place is so fertile, plants grow even on tarmac..and as I as keep telling you here rain rains sideways defeating the purpose of an umbrella.

So I reached here at 8.45 am in the morning. Worked straight up till 1.30pm. By straight up I mean continuosly without seating. By the time I was through I could feel each bone in my spine, had developed an attitude!!! So diagnose, inject, extract, medicate, appoint, refer… and since it was a Monday- lets just say the patients were many…

So missed out on lunch…it’s all good!!!

Went to my cousin’s place where I normally claw on supper…we went to town. Walked under that blithering, cursed, wretched hot sun…checked my mail..upodated my blog and chatted with “the other half”

Bought sandwiches (decided I’ll go to their place tomorrow for dinner)

Came home discovered the hard way- that the water had been disconnected( OUCH!!!!!)
If anything can ruin your mood that’s it.

So:
Now am relying on the water that’s in the geyser; meaning that showering is out of the option-did u read the part about the hot sun…as in you can track the sweat stains down my t-shirt and shirt….I define the words drenched! Sweatshirt and sweat band! THANK GOD FOR DEODORANT!!!

Right now priority face,teeth and hands!!!!!!
So flashing the loo will be done tomorrow morning when I dash to pay the bill.


So my mood is ruined, but hey, who else will know the reason for my mood swing tomorrow??

Otherwise now shall go have my cold bhajias, sandwiches and yoghurt-that should block my pipes won’t need to go for a number 2 till they reconnect or am back in Nairobi…in fact I’ll pee outside today full moon and all…

Hey this journal thing rocks I might decide to keep it up.

Wish me luck…problem is will they reconnect by tomorrow after I come home from work?????....until then keep them arm pits free and aerated….

dear santa

ive been really good this year-infact i can say i have only been bad three and a half times....now about bein naughty..uh ummmm..giggle giggle

i promise to leave fresh milk this time unlike the expired one i left last time. i still have no idea how those cookies disappeared... the chimney is cleaned out this time and have even gone the extra mile of widenin it for u-for rumor has it u have added a few pounds of late
....

so here goes my list...its easier posting it than me seatin on ur lap at the mall

1.a digital camera...yes i gotta keep up with the jones'

2.let someone buy the latest sidney sheldon so that i can borrow it off them

3.let this website be voted as the freshest and funniest kenyan blog (crossin them fingers)

4.cure for my allergies or some super-absorbant hanky!!!

5.peace of mind and happiness

6.peace on earth....ok am kiddin but it sounds good!!!

7.Entire dvd series of GOLDEN GIRLS!!! those old ladies rock!!!!

8.uh...since we share the same name ST NICK (cue the harps and violins. polish the halo) could u like send all my friends gifts and sign of as " Nick"

9.Cousins who will give me money and not ask for it (yes lewis and lewin read this)

10.win the lottery

11.quotin p.diddy " i need a girl to ride ride ride.."

enough said cant wait to see what u have in store for me....

Urinal Rules

so i go for a movie the other day and decide to take a leak...a huge ass urinal. empty. so i stand by the corner and do my thing...then this guy comes and stands just right next to me and starts doin his thing...for cryin out loud there was an open space out there and he decides to invade my privacy...and encroach.Punk ass fool!


so i gather there should be some written rules out there with regards to urinal moments

1.let there be atleast one urinal between the two of u
2.let there be atleast a metre between the two of u-sideways or if ur waitin in line!
3.peepin is plain nasty!!!! Staring-JUST WRONG!!!
4.Avoid the whole waterfall/gravity kinda leak. aim for the bowl-avoid dolby surround sound effects
5.Whistling is welcomed
6.Unwelcomed-macho tactics: tryin to kill a fly, spellin ur name, actin like ur holdin a baseball bat....
7.To quote "hot chick"... "u shake it more than twice that's playin with yourself!!
8.Shake with the fingers-not with ur whole body and soul!!!!! like ur in some rock concert. no head shakin. no shoulder shakin. no crotch shakin!!!
9.Eye contact not necessary!
10.Quick hello's not necessary!!!!
11.Heck not even a smile..what is this some kinda a brotherhood bond??? NOT!!!!!
12.atleast pretend to wash your hands!
13.unzipping would help!

THE FAT KID IN SCHOOL

so what was that like...actually it was just nice and dandy for me...i've seen kids on oprah sheddin tears cause they were over weight sayin crap like "i eat cause am stressed and am stressed cause i eat" F&#@! that

i worked my weight to my advantage... now u see the trick is havin a sense of humor about it and actually being able to laugh at your self.

now i was funny, and smart too.. trust me,u dont want to be the fattest kid and dumb too...no no no no no...u have to have an upper hand somehow

now the funny thing bout bein fat-its not just a school thing but relatives have to have there jokes somewhere..so at xmas,its hey lets open the gifts and diss nick. kids in the neighbourhood have to throw in their jokes....but i learnt fight fire with fire and a smile.

"hey fatso" and then came the reply "hey peter-pupu whats up?" smile(heck throw in a kiss and a hug)


trials and tribulations:

-guys would jump on me for a piggy ride(now i know why its called a piggy ride cause i sure was the piggy) there i am walkin mindin my own busines an WHAM!!!!! PIGGY RIDE!!!
-i had to have custom made uniform from school outfitters-damn it u couldnt just walk in and get a pair of shorts just like that
-lets not talk about gettin swimmin floaters. none could pass thru my shoulders so i learned how to swim the old fashion way.....natural!!! better believe fat floats
-i'd have problems squeezin in between my desk and chair
-nick names(read previous posts)
-oh the the countless wedgies!!and am talkin bout the shorts not the undies!!
-hey but i did look cute in the scouts uniform
-i was a goalie by default
-every one loved me....i gotta blow my horn i was a cute fat kid!!!!!
-...and a funny one too....
-relatives and there cheap jokes
-kids tryin to trip u.... see if this mass can tip over and faaaaalllll!!!!
-hunger!!!!
-oh the agony of a simple jog! lap around the field!


all in all. next time u see a fat kid-damn it smile and say hello he deserves it!! Not all fat kids are a mess...i mean mass... i mean mess...they have pride and self respect. Who says being fat aint cool!!!!


anyway i lost weight(some of it) and lookin back i can say yeah i was the fat kid in school...and look at me now. Where are u skinny punks that used to strut their stuff now!!! where are u silly girls that called me names and thought u could hurt me...well where are u now....

i cant hear you...

obviously i still have some unresolved issues...

thats when u know ur old!!!!

so am a budding 25 year old. strong,energetic,happy-go-lucky...but u'd think am ok-hell freakin no.

turnin 25 was like the worst thing ever...i was kickin and screaming-resisting and fightin...and just when i convinced myself hey its all good...it dawned on me "HA now ur turnin 26!!!!"

as much as guys think its cool to be older...that added respect that comes with a beard, cracked voice...none of us is ever happy that they are turnin older...

so am makin my piece way way before i turn 26 that screw age! screw feeling shitty!!! am a tough old guy.....


...and thank God i have till March!

so what are the signs that things arent as hickory dickory as they should be:-

-thinkin about medical insurance or a will;damn whats that all bout. thinkin bout the future and takin responsible action to safeguard any event that may arise. damn!!!

-thinkin bout financial investments and security...oh once u go down that road just pack ur playstation away.

-actually the whole "thinkin thing"

-u go to the entertainment centre in sarit centre-obviously to play games....and the attendants ask u if ur lookin for ur child?! what the f....?!!! punk am here to play !!!!!

-every chick u meet u start scrutinising if she's marriage/wife material.

-u discover that actually, weddings are a very good place to meet other old single people(ciku if u readin this i will call u!)

-u discover the meaning of empathy!? u actually give a damn about someone else's misfortune!

-u actually care about someone else's feelings. HA!

-paternal clock starts ticking.the sight of kids makes u feel warm(not in an MJ kinda way[MJ if u readin this am sorry])

-in contradiction to the above statement:being called uncle at first used to lift ur spirits...but now its like bein kicked in the ankles!!!! what a demeanin thing to be called..."uncle nick!!!! uuuuuu...nkle...!!!" child dont make me slap u across ur face!!!!!!

-listenin to 'sundowner' or 'memories are made of this'....and u can actually sing along with them golden oldies!!!!

-the phrase "catchin up with long time friends" actually applies.

-u no longer have a best friend just tight buddies

-God becomes an integral part of your life!!! u get more spiritual if not religious...not a bad thing but a sign!!!!

-u meet ur previous teachers and u realise-that they weren't the smartest hings on earth...

-u were there in the advent of the remote control, internet, more than one tv channel..sms's.....

-u wish u could cry at some moments but u just dont have the goddamn energy

-the day u realise ur best days were when u were in school!!!!

-u start unleashin advice on school, growing up....all from memory without even havin to think about it

-love songs make sense

-the fact ur readin this goin "mmmmh hmmmm...i hear u!"

-u've spotted a gray hair in ur pubs

-u realise that workin/job is a mundane monotonous routine that will be over at 5 only to begin again the next day.lose zeal for life...if ur like the most of us ur paid less than ur worth and just enough to keep u comin back for more!!!!!


i hope with that i have totally made u feel old and shitty...all in a day's work!!!!

..oh and y'all got jokes....

-whats with all the hating and dissing. i know i can act and that's a fact. sure ive gone for numerous voice over auditions and never got called back... does that mean anything??? dont think so.

-i have never been admitted or been seen as an outpatient in a mental institution...my shrink is very private and confidential so lets give him some respect thank u very much.

-yes i do have issues to deal with but dont we all. first step is admittin it, the second is writin bout it,the 3rd well-hopefully-make good money out of it!!!!

-ok who ever asked, yes am a dentist!!! a very good and professional one. and broke too....

-david:hey there. niaje bro!!! are u happy now that i have mentioned u!! u got to stop hating and accept that u just a big loser like i am!!!

-Jeremiah:screw u and ur "i love tarantino sorority club"
let me guess... the next meetin to discuss the movie is at ur digs the theme is "hero!" wear anythin in pink!!!!!!!!!!!!

-am gonna get a toungue lashing from the above comment!!!

-torments:hmmmmmm if u werent an ardent follower u'd have gotten it right up.....

-lieura:hey we're on our 8th annivearsary still having not met. mingi love keep it blogged

-other half: hurry hurry come back damn it!!!!!

-soray: what happened to that club of ours SNK,NSK,KSN...

-KK:ur sis finally did find my clinic..she all grown up now!!!no comments bout the toungue ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM BACK

enough with plethora of where are u? get well! return to us! we miss u! emails

ive been really busy this past 2 weeks. went on a voluntary free medical and dental camp in the depths of rift valley places called solai and bahati...twas bout time i gave back to the society..haven done that since last year when i went to kisumu and got myself a tan(i mean helped people out)

that and my busy social life(comprisin of bed time and ....)

am back with a vengeance and have enough topics to write on

so look out for

-spidey 'SARCY' awards in reference to kenyan music and tv stars
-spidey myths and beliefs
-life as spidey


yada yada yada.

so all u fans out there please keep on readin and commentin together we can rule the world


SHARK TALE: wathced it yesterday(yes i sure did take my time) its really funny. i mean a cross dressing shark thats a vegetarian...who needs other jokes thats it right there.

Alexander opened and soray i cant wait to see it. but with its dismal performance at the US box office u may be quite right bout it!!!

so keep it blogged!

my unpursued dream

I yearn to become an ACTOR!!!

in the past i took part in 4school play productions playin lead roles:
Street People- in 1993 playin innspector Okohobo a crooked corrupt cop
School's Out-1994 a Jamaican teacher with a massive afro
Trials of Brother Chume-1995 poor Chume
H.M.S Pinafore-1997 a musical where i played captain cochran

there is no greater feelin than being on stage being applauded(and booed) the fame..

I yearn to return on stage.if someone was to ask whats the best place to act tv, movie or theatre? THEATRE any day. that aspect of it being live,no space for mistakes or retakes....the audience being there as close as 2metres.... the adrenaline...just to die for!

and u know the best part in acting is not even the final production its the stages that u go thru...the means justifying the ends. the errors...rehearsals...personal jokes...memory lapses...

and thats why when i borrow a dvd i always wanna see the behind the scenes, the gags, spoofs and the makin of each scene...and no one likes that...if u was an actor believe me u would wanna know.

its such a joy! the whole experience!

get me a stage set me loose...free me on a stage... i wanna express myself....until then i shall remain on this stage called a page!!!!

But one day...i shall return to theatre!!!

Nick/s names

in my childhood i've had enough names to last me a lifetime. some ive liked, some grew to like and some my shrink(currently on vacation after my last cheque) is helpin me live thru...in fact it was his suggestion i paste it on blog!!

So my names are **** ******.3rd name nanof-ya-biznaz!

Nicholas on its own has enough names to play around with. there's Nick-which is what i prefer nowadays. there was Nicko in primary-it was a rugged name! yeah. chicks tend to call me nicky/nikki sounds good from a female voice,so i kinda like it. guys from shags call me nichola (pronounced nichora!) when people are really mad at me , they callme by my full name NICHOLAS.(pronounced not nicklas, but NICHOLAS)

there funny names like: Knickers. Nicks-a-lot. Nick-ol-ass. Nickita. Nick-ass-hole

rhyming names: Nick the dick, Nick the Prick, Nick the Freak!

then there are names not derived from my name:

-fatty. kinda cute
-fatso. also kinda cute infact in high school me and my best buddy called ourselves that. i was fat-so he was fatty
-Bud Spencer/Buddy: now this one hurt real good! maybe cause i was younger then. coined from the famous action duo of terence hill and bud spencer.
-Guchi. there was a prog in KBC actually the american version of mind ur language and there was a character that would say " am from beverly hills carlifornia near gucci" i was the only one in class who could say this out well and i guess the name kinda stuck!
so Guchi it was
-Nyama: let me laugh a bit. damn u girls from conso that was a funny name. fine i was kinda chubby/pudgy...but where on earth did that come from. damn damn damn
yaani i was their bitch. we'd play cops and robbers...and i was the main star!!!without me the game ws boring. how,u ask since i could not run fast? i'll tell you.
all the boys were fast runners so the girls could never catch them BUT could catch me. "where's nyama? lets go catch him!!!"
Now for the boys the fun came in how the would save nyama-i mean me-in a heroic way to impress the girls..."lets go save nyama!"
-nyama bite:derived from the above name and was actually not amusing at all

-insulting names: bitch, freakin degenerate, butt wipe, a$$****.....

and what do i say to all of u!!! i love all my fans! Nawapenda wote!!!

PAIN!!!!!!!!!

Now what is pain? they say pain is a physiological, emotional, pyschological response to a noxious stimuli! now the question is what is a noxious stimuli-by the time ur thru reading this oh u'll know for real what that is!!!!

-in my proffesion trust me i know what pain is and how to inflict it.i've seen grown men shed tears, i've seen a mother of 4children(point being all via natural childbirth) totally surrender at my mercy, i've made teenage boys call out my name, teenage girls wanna give birth a day after their period, i've made tiny tots scream/spit/kick/yell/pee/wail...and not necessarily in that order....so trust me am on authority on knowing what pain is all bout....

-have u ever run for the phone and happen to ram ur pinky toe on a stool-leg or the corner of a wall!!!! damn and temporarily u feel like u've dis-jointed it from ur body! the lil thing throbs with a vengeance of 1000hells...and u never thought how such a small thing can cause u pain!!!!

-as described in article "first time" oct gettin kicked in the nuts.

-there was a phase i guess we all went thru where it was cool to keep a long nail on ur pinky finger(in retrospect thats the shadiest thing ever!!! and to think there are grown men who do that in shags and use it as a device for snuffin tobacco, putting salt on food...but enough with the deviation...) yeah so there u are all "cool" and then some. And ur happenin to play basketball...and wham!!! Ball to hand-rather ball to nail...and at first the nail bends backwards...splits and starts to bleed....and bends back to the natural position! yammmy!!!!! and trust me that's pain that will last u a whole good week!!!

-Riverside circumcision!!!! ....ok i didnt go thru that but the thought of it makes u wanna cringe...of course,was it me, i'd take it like a man....if u got me there in the first place. not to mention the cold shower in the river.in fact i'd be more scared of that cold shower than anything else.

-gettin ur lil man stuck in the zipper!!! it's happened-not like in "there's something about mary" but in a milder fashion. the question actually is not how it got stuck the poignant question is what were u doin not wearing under wear!!!!!

-personally i like the pain chilli gives u-its a natural high!!!!...and a cold ice cream or just plain ice as it seats on ur teeth and sucks out all the heat!!! the pain radiatin over ur mouth as it slowly turns into a headache...

-jerkin off with soap!!!mmm mmmm mmmm this warnin should be out there somewhere on a boy's manual.. STAY FREAKIN CLEAR away from soap,hand washing liquid,dish washin liquid ...thats just wrong.
they say everytime someone jerks off a God kills a kitten out there! is that sweet or what? but, u use soap and u may start believing!!!

-pain is when ur tryin to dump some chick and the moron just aint gettin the hint!!! hello !!!! yes i said i'd call-and havent!!! duuuuh!!!!

-a boil in the ass! doesnt matter what cheek!

-ok all u sissy's out there will say what about childbirth, fractures....fallin from a height, stapling your hand, ...and is say '"u know what? ur right,there!"

-humiliation: i've had a few social suicides in my life.
i once dropped the national flag in school when i was raising it as a cub-scout!!!
i fell in school mass right up there on satge after receiving Holy Communion.slid on water and fell with a thunderous thud...and ensuing was an even louder applause!
i once gave an impromptu speech at a school assembly and blundered thru it, makin no sense whatsover...
How bout your swimming teacher calling you "hey fatso,where u think ur going?"
how bout taking part in a swimming gala in primary school. u all compete to do one lap. fair enough. so 8 of us(me being one of them) dive. off we go. swim. swim. swim. lookin up everyone has already cleared and little chubby me is still halfway!!! Damn it...so i paddle on...on....and on. and finally i reach the end.
finally now one problem-the ladder stairs thing is on the other side and am having a problem gettin off the pool!! DILEMMA-nelly kelly style? do i waddle to the other end? or ask for help...ha ha ha ha

so i pull my leg over to the edge of the pool-and now 3 limbs will be enough to hoist this whale of the pool. in one not-so-swift-action i hoist my self off the mass of water...and manage to roll a couple of times on dry land!!!!!!! if that is not pain i dont know what is!!!!!

the humiliation is so strong mpaka the clinging costume doesnt phase u one bit...and u run to your towel and to the changing room....and years later u write about it!!!!!!

hey u guys if u have better experiences feel free to share!!!!!!!

what a dull bloody day!!!!

so today had a day off from work and from monday have been lookin forward to a quiet day at home-i call them pyjama days. Had the entire season of shield on dvd to watch. some west wing episodes. Farenheit 9/11. Was gonna order for quarter meal to be delivered everything was all set to go.

so wake up at around 9 lookin like somethin the cat left behind! stroll to the loo silenced my ever annoyin bladder. washed hands brushed teeth-waddled off to my couch.
3remotes in hand ...it was time to do this

Started with shield...oh yes Detective Vic Mackey was just as nasty as ever....until...LIGHTS WENT OFF!!!!! (only in kenya)

hmmh mmmh

i decide relax its a week day they should be back anytime soon....

hmmm

ok

uh???? damn this...i decide lets give KPLC a call

some rude lady picks up and i enquire poiltely "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?!?!?!?"

and she replies " oh...they'll be gone till 5pm.it had been advertised in the papers!!"

SONOFA-!!!!! MOTHER#$*!!!!! middle fingers in the air.
now if this was some movie the sound effects would include a plate breakin in te background!

yaani-live live plots were destroyed. trust me there is no life bila elec contrary to the old odage of no life without water!

heart broken...i went to sleep at 11...atleast i feel refreshed as ever!!!!!